Silly MIL issues- How to deal with these things without going overboard?

Question

My MIL, for the most part, helps us out very much and we are very grateful for her help. However, she is very controlling and shows this through little things like telling us she will be someone at a certain time and making us wait or making something for dinner after she knows we have plans to go out together. Once, on our anniversary, we planned to go away for one night and she all of a sudden decided she had to go out of town to buy a car even though she promised a week earlier to keep our son. (That time at least she finally backed down, but by then we only had about 12 hrs to spend alone before we had to pick up our son.) I just got home from working at of town for 2 days and, yes this is silly, but she bought us a huge box of huggies from Costco or Sams. This is a nice thought, but we have both told her several times not to buy huggies anymore because they do not fit him correctly. Then she goes and buys these! We can't even return them since we dont have a membership. What to do

Answer 1

First off: I suggest you donate the diapers to women and children shelter.  If you don't know where one is in your area, call your local hospital and they will know.

As far as the MIL, just be appreciative and kill her with kindness.  I know it's hard to do, but it will be easier in the long run if she doesn't hate you. :)

Answer 2

I don;t have any advice, but I do know you can exchange a gift at sams without a membership. They will give you store credit, and it can be used at both sams and walmart.

Answer 3

Why not tell her how much you love Huggies and hate Pampers?  It's silly but you might get the Pampers...:)

All this stuff is a passive-aggressive way of trying to get the point across that she knows best.  Try not to give her anything to work with or to take her seriously.

With the diapers, if there really is no way to get a refund then donate them to charity or trade with a friend.  Be very open about this without being confrontational.  If she asks for or seems to expect you to thank her, then say, "Well, you know I don't use them but the women's shelter was so grateful the last time I gave them all those Huggies."  

If she can't be relied on to keep her word about babysitting then don't ask her.  If she cooks dinner when you already have plans to go out, stick to your plans.  Say, "Oh thanks Mom, that looks delicious.  We're going out tonight, so I'll just put it in the fridge so we can eat it a different night."  Better yet - MUCH better - have your husband say it.

Always react nicely, with a smile on your face.  She probably won't ever stop her antics but she might slow down, and at least you won't have to change your plans.

Good luck!   And make sure, if you can, that your husband is with you 100%.  Otherwise you'll end up being the "bad guy" between mother and son and that will be bad for all of you.

Answer 4

Give them back to her and tell her how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but you are unable to use them.  It's hard to complain about the MIL who does nice things, but is overbearing or controlling...I understand where you are coming from!!

Answer 5

Don't except the things you tell her not to get. Do not be afraid of telling her what is right and what is wrong because she obviously acts like a child therefore she needs to be treated like a child. Tell her you will not take the diapers and if you wanted to help you should of got the ones be told you to get.

Answer 6

Can you trade a friend? I know what you mean. My husband insisted on buying Walmart brand because they were cheap but he couldn't seem to understand that I spent more in laundry detergent washing sheets and blankets every stinking day than we would have originally spent on decent diapers.

Lol, I just had a thought- could you tell her to go ahead and keep them at her house for when she has him? She'll learn.