Since your adoption of a child 10 or more years ago.....?

Question

....how many times have you moved? **Meaning into another dwelling.**Would it be considered strange or harmful for one to move 5 times in 10 years,to the adopted child?

Answer 1

My son was adopted 7 years ago, so I'm not sure if I qualify to answer your question, but we've moved once since his adoption. (He was moved several times prior to becoming part of our family.)

I think many children (adopted or not) are unsettled by moving. However, I think adopted children, especially ones who have had multiple residences in the past, may have some additional fears that arise from moving. They may see the dwelling as a symbol of the permanency of the placement and if the house goes, well...what's next?

However, I think that with proper preparation and involvement, most kids can definitely handle moving. With my son, we just made sure he was involved in the planning, decorating his new room, etc. and understood that we were ALL moving together.

IMHO I don't think moving 5 times in 10 years (your example) is ideal for any child, but sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I think it's just important to realize that, based on his history, your adopted child might need some extra reassurance and some special consideration.

Answer 2

This might be upsetting or unsettling for many children but has nothing to do with adoption.  If mortgage or rent was not being paid and the family was getting evicted, it may be much worse that if the wife or husband is in the service and gets transferred often.  But in any case, some children would be more affected by this change than others.  Would need to know more about the situation to make a yes or no answer.

Answer 3

What does that matter with an adopted child as opposed to a birth or natural child?  Are you working on post-placement visits?  Are you an adoptee who doesn't want your parents to move?  

Depending on circumstances, I don't think it's strange or harmful, unless the child (ANY child) has stability issues.  In that case, adopted or not, if could affect the child.

Answer 4

It depends on why you're moving.

My cousin adopted her little girl 2 years ago.  Then she moved into a bigger house closer to town (her other house is in the country).  Now, she is adopting twins...  So the nutty chick bought yet ANOTHER house, even bigger, even closer to town!  That makes 5 houses and seven lots of land she owns.  I think she's addicted.  An intervention may be necessary, lol!

So, she's got perfectly logical reasons for moving (bigger, better, closer to town and family members, etc).

Answer 5

In two months it will be 10 yrs, am i close enough?

We have moved three times.  Move one was from college to residency.  Move two was because the owner wanted to sell the home we were renting.  Move three was a new town where we got our first jobs.  We plan on staying in this town for good.  Might need a bigger home someday but we would stay in the same town and same school district.  We believe every move effects the children.

I would consider it strange and harmful unless it was necessary for a job or military or something like that.

Answer 6

Well if you must move then I see no problem however many times it may be.  :)

Answer 7

We have never moved since the adoption of our child. We moved from my home state to another state several months prior to the adoption. My daughter has lived in the same house since she was born.

Is it harmful? As a child myself, my parents moved quite a few times. Did I survive? Yes.

Answer 8

My oldest is over 10 years old.

We moved only once - and within the same neighborhood. I think it was tough, but it all worked out. (It didn't help that we were renovating the new house while we lived in it.)

I don't see any ill effects of the move today (it happened over 5 years ago.) But we only moved once.

Answer 9

I would not consider it strange at all. Sometimes people have jobs that require them to move often. Or they find a better job.  Maybe they can no longer afford where they are living or maybe they are now able to afford to go somewhere better.  

Moving isn’t easy on any child regardless if they are adopted or not. As they say home is where the family is.