Single Dads/Mom's , How do you do it??

Question

I am going through a divorce right now and have my 1 1/2 child most of the time. I feel terrible for the little man most of the time, when he is at his mothers there are kids everywhere for him to play with, when he is here he does not have kids to play with, I try to play with him as much as possible but I have work and other things I have to try to keep up with, which by the way is next to impossible since I think he needs constant supervision. Any help full hints would be great.

Answer 1

Well, my son is a little younger (he's 9 months).  But I'm a single mom and it's hard work!!!!  And his dad refuses to visit with him, so I have my son every single day - he goes to daycare while I go to work and after that he's with me at every step I take.

It's hard.  While I'm cleaning the house, I bring him in the room I'm in and give him something to play with, usually that works for like 10 minutes or so, lol So i've learned to clean FAST.  I'll put him in his play pen for a while, that helps me be able to vacuum.  

Try to get your son involved in the stuff you are doing - like if you are cooking, give him a pot and a pan and a spoon to play with on the floor and tell him to cook you something.  Or if you are cleaning, give him a rag and tell him to wipe down the table or something.  Yeah, he may make a bigger mess, but it will make him feel good that he's helping dad out.  :)

Answer 2

Kids are much stronger, adaptable, and resilient then we give them credit for.  Your son will be just fine.  I'm sure he likes being the centre of attention and not having to share everything with lots of other kids when he's with you.  And honestly b/c he's so young, he won't really feel like he lost something that he had, b/c he won't remember it.  My kids were 4 when their dad and I seperated and dad moved out.  They still ask me why daddy had to leave, why he can't come home, they remember the arguing,  They experienced the feeling of being left.  I don't think your son will experience as much of that.

As for getting through the time, yes toddlers do require constant supervision.  They need to be stimulated mentally and physically.  They need lots of opportunities to burn their energy.  My twins are 7 now, and I also helped raise 6 other kids as a nanny.  I find keeping a daily schedule with set meal and nap times works best.  You should get outside to parks or playgroups everyday.  If you work from home and it's becoming an issue, maybe you should think about hiring a p/t nanny, or sending him to daycare p/t.  He will start to act out if he feels neglected.  

Answer 3

Would she be willing to set up a little different visitation schedule so that you can spend more quality time with him? Take him to parks and such on your days off? Also you have to be able to say hey, no I can not come in today  and spending quality time with my son is the most important thing to me. You have to MAKE time for him. (I once got fired from a job because they told me I was TOO pre-occupied with my child, and I would not want to work for ANYBODY that does not understand that you kids come before anything. (Hopefully she will work with you in the childs best interest)

Hope it helps,