Single Mothers..A question for you.....?

Question

How do you feel being a single parent? Is it ..or was it hard for you?.. What is your motivation, when the father of the child has a "I dont care attitude"?...

Answer 1

14 answerers who should have left their legs closed... sucks to be you

Answer 2

well on one hand i like that i am the main caregiver. i have two great kids and i know that ive been a large part of making then who they are. they look to me for guidance and support. they see me work hard to support them financially.  they are my life. we are also friends as well as parent/child.

other hand, i of course feel bad. their dad should be as important to them as i am. that "family" balance, a mom dad etc. It would be nice for me as well to be able to lean on someone when i need it.  However, no point in whining about what cant be changed.  You do what you gotta do for them and try not to worry about the rest.

Answer 3

I am a single mom, mi-20s. Being a single parent is hard work, of course... I can't go out to the movies, or if I feel sick, there's no one to take over for me (luckily, my parents help me out alot).

What I've seen is that single moms aren't well seen in our society. I never CHOSE to be a single mom: I was married way before I got pregnant... but he walked out on me. There isn't much I can do, except stay strong and raise my child.

My motivation is my child. His father doesn't help out, doesn't pay CS even though he could, yells at me still, tells me I'm a bad mom because I had put in the court order that he can only have supervised visitation until he completes anger management therapy...

There's a lot to deal with by being a single parent. There's the break up, then you gotta figure out how to make it financially... You can't base anything on the other parent, 'cause they might just not pay.

My child is just 1, and it's been a wild ride, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Some people pity me because I am a single mom so young... but I'm thankful, I have a beautiful son, who brings me joy and laughter every day. It's truly a gift to have him, even though some days are harder than others.  

Answer 4

You have no choice.  You deal with the cards you were dealt.  Finances are the most difficult aspect.  Depending on if you have family support or not, often single moms spend 60% of their income on daycare, and 40% on rent, having to scrape up money somehow for utilities, transportation, and food.  

The other most difficult aspect is that everyone assumes you are a ****, not that you are divorced or were with the father for like 10 years and he up and left.  Or they assume there is something wrong with you that the father does not want you.

30% of all mothers in the USA are single mothers...

Answer 5

I have been a single parent for 8 years now...I had a 5 year old and 11 month old twins by myself...You just learn to be strong and do what needs to be done...If the father doesnt care then you just go on and raise the kids, when they get older they will know who was there for them...It wasnt easy and still isnt but I do what I have to do for them.... I do have a great b/f now and he does help a little but I like to be the one who does most b/c they are my kids... He is there friend...

Answer 6

I have been a single parent since my daughter was ten days old.  It has been hard but also very rewarding.  I have had to step up to the plate and make all the decisions that effect her life and mine.  If the father has a non caring attitude you have to think every day how lucky you are that you get to be with your child every day and get to see the new and first things that they do and the father misses everything.   It is a blessing really.

Answer 7

i am married but still my motivation to success in this life is my baby not their father . as a parent you have a role , a job to fulfill .that is to be the best parent you can be . i can t answer the first parts of your question but for the last one the answer is my kids . good luck  

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I hate the stigma attached to it.  I never planned being so find it difficult and upsetting that my kids dad was able to just walk out on us all for some little tart.

Answer 10

It was hard at first , but then everything fell into place.

The dad pays child support but he never calls or comes to see her.

I have never told him not to, and he knows where we live. So its his choice.

It hurts my childs feeling, I know, she wont' talk about her dad to her friends.

Answer 11

it's always hard, b/c no woman chose to raise kids on her own.  Love those babies.  They need you more than ever, ESPECIALLY when the father is a jerk.  God will bless you with a man that will take your kids in like his own.  You won't be single for long, but love your babies.

Answer 12

Take your energy and be the best mom you can be to your kids.  Create memories for them that are positive.  Don't worry about what the father is or isn't doing.  He will paint the picture himself to his kids.  You don't have to bad mouth him or anything. Kids are smart and they will see.

It's hard being a single parent, but it's not impossible.  I had a child at 19 so I was a single parent from 19 to about 29.  Then I got married, and had a 2nd child.  Was married for 10 years and just recently got divorced so now I am back to being a single parent.  It's life.  I am not going to sulk  about it, just continue to be the best mom I can be to my girls and let the rest of the chips fall where they may.  Life is too short to be depressed about being a single parent.  It's all about MAKING a life because kids will grow up very fast and soon it won't be an issue and you'll miss the years of raising them.

Most of all don't wate your energy worrying about what the father is or isn't doing.  That will kill you as a mom and paint a bad picture for the kids.  

Keep moving forward...it's not the end of the world!

Answer 13

im a single mother.my daughter is 2 ive met someone else who accepts my daughter as his own. when i told my daughters father i was pregnant he basicallysaid it wasnt his problem, if im honest i dont think he believed me.i got on with it without him and had my baby, went to college, got a house and a car all on my own. it is really hard and if your young its even hardes you do miss out and you see your friends and you envy them for not having any worries, you constantly have to think about money for food, clothes, bills, rent etc. what mostly annoys me is that i work really hard to raise my child and to give her everything she needs and want i sacrifice so that she gets what she needs(not that i mind or am complaining) but people sill look down their noses at me i feel embarrassed and i have done nothing wrong. no matter what you do some people will always think bably of and you will always pay for the mistake made by your childs father. its really unfair but you have to develop a thick skin for these people. however bad it might get theres no graeter reward in life than a child no matter what the circumstances you have to remember that.

Answer 14

My mum had to single-handedly raise myself and my twin brother when my dad walked out on us at 9 years old. I know she found it tough - she was on anti-depressants and worked three separate jobs just to make ends meet. Fortunately, her whole family rallied round and did their best to make it easier for her, and thirteen years later, she's remarried, has a daughter with my stepfather, a new house and is happier than ever before.

Answer 15

i dont really mind it, honestly my sons not missing out on anything because his dad is a druggie and a felon. i feel sad because his dad doesnt know what he's missing out on, but thats his loss and one day he'll realize that.

Answer 16

In the beginning I found it to be rather difficult.  Mostly because I was feeling guilt over the fact that my children were hurting as a result of the breakup of their family.  Our divorce was mutual and there weren't any affairs, but I still felt guilty.  It was tough to remain strong for them and provide the emotional support they needed when I was hurting myself.  Now, 7 years later, I feel very liberated.  While I still believe a traditional family would be the best possible thing for them, it feels good to know that I am able to be there for my daughters and provide all that they need.  Their father is involved in their lives, though.  He spends quite a bit of time with them and I'm happy that he does.  All of the "to do" stuff relative to the kids still falls upon me, but I'm okay with that.