Single guy thinking about adopting?

Question

Hi Everyone! I'm new to posting, but have been looking up answers here for quite some time. Anyhow, this is my question:

I am a 25 year old single man, not really wanting to invest time in a relationship, but really wanting a child. I never have thought about this before but all my friends are having children and all of a sudden I guess my paternal instinct just kicked into overdrive. I know what I want and I know I can take care of kids very well. Does anyone know what it takes to start an adoption, or if there are any alternatives to adoption, maybe so the baby could be biologically mine? I'm not looking to do this right now, maybe in a couple years, if I am still single.

Answer 1

I'd contact social services. It sometimes takes about 3 years (or longer) to get a child placed with you.

Contrary to what others are saying, I'd rather see someone invest their time in adopting a child than in a bad relationship that produces a child or children and then you're shuffling them back and forth between two parents that don't agree on anything all the time.

Answer 2

You could always just get someone pregnant and pay child support.  That way, you wouldn't really need to invest in a relationship and you wouldn't need to raise a child, you would just need to pay money to help someone else raise the child.  You would get regular visitations and be able to tell people you have a son or daughter, but not really have to invest much else.  That should satiate your parental urges nicely.

Hope this helps!  :-)

Answer 3

Well if you've been looking up answers here for a while, you'll know lots of people on here will tell you that you really need to research adoption before seriously considering it. Read the primal wound, 20 things adoptive kids wished their parents knew, joe soll's adoption healing, etc, etc. Google adoption forums, or adult adoptees forum and find out from people's personal experiences what real adoption is like.

I'd personally adopt from foster care because I don't trust adoption agencies (I've heard far too many dodgy stories about them), so if you're interested in that, I think you'd need to call the local social services and they can put you in touch with the right people.

I'm worried by your comment that you don't really want to invest time in a relationship though. I know you're not talking about kids here, but you can't be bothered to invest time in a romantic relationship, how can you be sure that you'll be willing to invest time, energy & money in having a child? Its a life-long commitment and they're a lot of work. Maybe look into big brother/big sister programs instead to get experience with kids & see if its right for you.

As for alternatives to adoption, I guess you're talking about surrogacy and stuff like that. I have enough issues as an adoptee and I believe that surrogacy is basically giving birth to a ready-made adoptee and money's often involved, thus adding to the potential issues faced by surrogate babies. Maybe google "son of a surrogate" to find out what its like to be born as a child of a surrogate.

Answer 4

If you don't have time to invest in an adult relationship, you are definitely not going to have enough time to raise a child.  It takes a whole lot more time and effort and money than you seem to have or want to give.  Kiss your partying days goodbye.  You'll be too busy working and picking your kid up from daycare.  Also, a single man will have the most difficulty of everyone out there when trying to adopt.  Unfortunately, there are just too many pedophiles out there who ruin it for you guys.  In addition, when you finally do decide to go for a serious adult relationship, what if the other person doesn't want kids?  It might make your search a little more difficult if you already have one.