Single moms I have a question for you.?

Question

I'm 19 and my fiance of two years and I broke up durring the middle of my pregnancy. He's still helping out, taking me to all of my appointments, we're going to have joint custody and he's so excited about the baby. But I still love him more and more with each passing day. Seeing him, while makes me so happy in one aspect, also makes me sad. We've had a few intimate encounters since we've split up so I'm not sure if he still has feelings for me. But the big question is...how did you get past your woes of being a single mom. I've gotten advice from my mom and oldest sister because they've went through it, but..all I keep getting is, "well you have to be strong for your baby and you'll still love him but will eventually get past it, you're a strong woman" and thats all i've been getting. I just want to hear the truth. I want to hear how others dealt with the pain.

If you answer this, please don't write anything about how he's an a$$ for leaving me. We both contributed to some problems that started waaaay before I got pregnant. So nothing negative about him or I please.

Answer 1

wow, well its hard 2 describe, i guess. umm ye it woz really pain full but how can u take looking at him after ur split up. ask him if he still has feelings 4 u, wen i did that i got a no, but i found this other guy and i absolutely adore him, i can c my ex is so jealous, but he told me he didn't have feelings, so i moved on, and no i woz a wimp and no i woz not strong, but strong enough 2 get passed it. now i'm engaged 2 this new guy!

Answer 2

Wow!  I feel your pain!  I went through this twice with my ex.  The first time we split I was pregnant and he was cheating on me.  I was so in love with him but so hurt at the same time.  I loved being a mom and being pregnant, having a family and this was such a shock to me.  I had a hard time dealing with the loss as well.  The way I dealt with it was to surround myself with positive people, poeple that care for me, went to church a lot and stayed away from him!  I don't think it is a good idea for him to be going to the appts.  The more you are around him the harder it is going to be for you.  I wouldn't let my ex in the delivery room when our daughter was born.  Although he wanted nothing to do with our baby.  Since your ex is excited about the baby I don't know.  I guess that is up to you, but the baby will never know if he was there or not!!  AND NO MORE s*x with him!!  That really makes it worse!  Men can deal with s*x and no emotions strung along with it.  Women can't!!  The less you are around him the less  you will want to be around him.  I have been divorced for 4 years now and am very happy to be on my own.  I know it is hard for you now because you are pregnant and it is hard for you to move on with your life, but you have so much to look forward to with this baby coming.  And trust me...you are going to be very busy once she is here!  You won't have any time to think about bozo when she is here!  Once I had my daughter I hit the angry phase and started getting pissed about everything!!  Mad that he left me alone to deal with a 5 year old in half day kindergarten and a newborn and no job on welfare.  There he was out having a great time acting like a single man with no kids living it up.  I remember being about 8 months pregnant trying to give my 5 yr old a bath and the toilet over running and I just fell apart.  I started sobbing and yelling and cussing at him!!  It was all his fault that I was so huge and couldn't reach my son to bathe him and that the toilet over flowed and I had to get towels and get on my hands and knees to wash it up then wash all the towels, etc!!!  I felt better afterwards.  My poor son had to witness that breakdown.

Add me to your contact list and I will add you and we can keep in touch.  I would be happy to give you some tips if you need them or an ear when you need it!!

Things will get better for you!  I promise!  Just keep your eye on the big picture...this beautiful baby that God has trusted you with.  The pain will get better, some days will be harder than others then you will feel better again.  It is a rolllercoaster ride.  Just keep in mind that everything you feel is very normal.  Plus being pregnant will make emotions more crazy.  You might even think about finding a counselor to help sort through some of your thoughts and feelings.  I sure love my counseling sessions!  I've been going for so many years now I don't even know.  Not so often anymore, but heck, lets face it, we can all improve in one way or another, right?

Welll, this has gotten to be way too long.  Sorry.  I just have been there and done that.  I KNOW how hard it is.  Just stay with people who know what a hard time you are going through and that will be there for you.   Now that I look back at that time in my life I actually have good memories of it because of the good friends that hellped me through it.  It really brought us closer and I realized how much so many people cared about me.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 3

Honey, I am not going to say it will be easy, because it won't and you have family there to support you, plus your baby daddy seems to be an upstanding guy, but to answer your question, when you start going through it, being a single parent and all, you won't have time for the woes of being a single parent, there will be too many accomplishments, great moments, etc., until you won't even have time to think about such things and you will realize how truly Blessed you are in all ways.  "YOU CAN DO IT AND IF YOU HAVE TO YOU WILL DO IT."  God Bless.