Single mothers, how do you do it?

Question

As the years go by, my maternal instinct gets stronger and stronger I've noticed, so I want to have a kid soon. However, I don't even have prospective boyfriend. The thought of having a kid and the father leaving terrifies me, but I know so many women are single parents and manage to do it on their own (including my mom). I want to commend all the single moms out there and ask...how do you do it? How do you not just give up and say I can't do this! Or have you felt like this before?

Answer 1

you just do!

Yes times are stressful, money can be tight but i can't imagine my life without my daughter.

My daughter's father left when I got pregnant...just disappeared but I choose to have this baby knowing I was going to be a single mom and I made the best choice possible.

Answer 2

Ive left several children on doorsteps already. It's not that bad, they only ruin your life anyway.

Answer 3

Like you said, they "manage" to do it.  

A lot of them who appear to "manage" it, have a strong grandmother they lean on for support (including financial).  Parenting is intended for 2-people to do.  Mom & Dad.

Those people don't have to manage as much and can enjoy having a family instead of managing to get by.  That's how it's supposed to be done.

Best advice, wait until you find a husband and have lived happily together for 2-3 years.

Answer 4

being a parent is very hard but also very rewarding

when you become a mum your life changes big time you start thinking in ways you never have before your main priority in life is to protect, care for and love your children no matter how dificult it gets at times you cannot give up on them

i couldnt and wouldnt want to imagine life without mine

Answer 5

Just looking at the child you created that depends on you and only you to be a sane and happy mommy for them is enough! I couldn't imagine giving up.

Answer 6

"How do you not just give up and say I can't do this!"

By looking at my son, I don't WANT to give up.  He's worth every tear I've cried, every penny I've spent, every worry I've worried.

Answer 7

i am not a true single mom but a navy wife with a husband on a ship so i might see him four months out of a year. being a mother is just what i do. i do have to get out every now and again and you have to or you'd go insane. but i love my life and wouldn't change a thing!

Answer 8

Single motherhood is something that can be done. Just like everything it has its joys and and its toll on you. I think if you are not in the situation where you need to be single when you have your baby then dont be. I mean dont we all wish to be rich and be able to solely provide for our babies? I wish I didnt have to worry so much and I wish I had someone to share this load at times. I can do it by myself but believe me having a PARTNER is so much more rewarding. They will support you and also help you through the tough times. Also they will double as an enforcer. If you have the choice I say have a partner. Im not saying depend on him. Be strong and prepare yourself for if he strays or is not up for it. Make yourself strong. My father raised me to be able to do things on my own and to land on my feet because he was raised by a single mom. I have both my parents and I was soooo lucky. I love the partnership involved. But now Im on my own with my little one and believe me its hard. Its something that can be done by yourself but its better shared. :D Both SINGLE MOMS and Partnered Parents are awesome. I just think that if you dont need to be single then dont be. In the end its the love and bond that counts.

Answer 9

tr to get someone to spend your life with and when you know it will last get married then have kids slow & steady wins the race, you dont wanna just have a baby to have one make sure you are as prepared as possible its hard work

Answer 10

how do i do it??god knows how, but i do, and have been a sinlge mum for 3 years. I also work full time, and study part time.

i am ALWAYS exhausted, but my kids make it all worth while!

Edit: and for those who say that all single mums have family to help out (mums, dads, sisters etc), thats not true. My family and friends have NEVER looked after my kids. They are MY kids, so i wouldnt expect anyone else to look after them!

Answer 11

OUR CHILDREN GIVES US THE STRENGHT THAT WE NEED. IMAGINE THOSE TEARY EYES AND HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE THEM....OH NO I JUST CANT I MEAN ONE I THINK WE CAN DO IT BUT MANY YOU WILL NEDD HELP. BESIDES LOOK IF YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY BY YOUR SIDE THEN THEY CAN HELP YOU TOO AND ITS NOT SO HARD AFTER ALL.

Answer 12

Just make sure your baby has a man in his life - doesn't have to be a Dad, just a man as a role-model.

Answer 13

this has probably been the hardest challenge i have faced in life.. i was soooo stuck on NOT having my son grow up in a broken home that i stuck around with his father way too long (it was abusive).  i've only recently been able to accept (and its still difficult) that my sons father will never be "a good dad" ... its very very hard, besides of course the financial side (i get no help form his dad or any outside source).. the emotional is a million times worse.. i deal with my child asking why he doesnt have a dad and telling me how much he wants a dad and theres really nothing i can do.. but try and go above and beyond and be the best mom i can..ps. if you think finding a potential mate is difficult now, imagine if you were a single mom ... it makes it a million times harder! (well at least for the ones that have their childs best interest at heart)..

Answer 14

Single parenting is very stressful.

You don't give up because that isn't an option.   Of course we have felt like it but like I say that isn't an option.