Single mums in council homes , why are we targeted? views please?

Question

i am a 30 yo single mum , i have 2 kids age 4 and nearly 1 both to the same dad, i am not fat nor a scrubber , before i had my kids i worked approx 10 years and never claimed benefits

i have a council home , the area is very quiet , my house is always clean , as are me and my kids , kids well fed and clothed , almost all my money goes on my kids and bills

i never asked to be a single mum , not my fault there dad left us

im sick of people putting single mums down and people who live in council homes , saying things like we are lazy n scrubbers etc, why do people do this, we not all like that

i could of got my own house but there i would have a lifetime worry of paying back a mortgage and a ton of other loans

are you also a single mum in a council home who is sick of being labelled?

Answer 1

It comes from where I live I believe. Unfortunately young girls do get pregnant so they get a house. I know this as my x x GF was a social worker and had to sit and listen to little scrubbers saying things like "It's better than working" etc etc. I won't get into what's wrong AND RIGHT BUT IT DOES GO ON.

Answer 2

Its a case of the minority giving the majority a bad press. There are so many immature kids out there who have babies with anyone just to claim benefits and have a doll they can dress up and coo over until they fancy a night out, when they will do all they can to palm the baby off on someone else - or worse still, take the baby to the pub with them. Some of these people are those who cannot be bothered to work and who stay at home watching Trisha or Jeremy Kyle all day and expect tax payers to pick up thier tab.

You on the other hand are the sort of person for whom this council system was set up for - people who genuinely need help. I feel for you and the bad press you get, but until people stop abusing the system, I'm afraid you may always be the victim of stereotyping x

Answer 3

I'm a single mum with a 2 year old son

I work in a great job, have a nice home and 2 months ago I bought a nice shiny new car

I don't have to worry about mortgage payments, repairing a boiler if it decides to pack in, replacing windows etc

And in about 5 years time I can buy my council house for a fraction of the neighbouring private houses

If people want to label me let them cause from where I'm sitting I'm doing pretty well :)

Answer 4

my mum used to live on her own and bring me and my sister up in a council house as well, and everyone has bad views on it and i dont know why?, yeah we didnt have much money because our real dad left us, but are house was fine, a quiet area too, it sucks!, then she met someone and we moved to a better place, and now we love it!!..

good luck in the future! xx

Answer 5

Not everyone in your situation are like yourself ... there are too many people who fit the stereotypical view you describe thus tarnishing people like yourself.  

I for one WISH i could have been given a council home when I needed it.  Yet I was told no, yet single people on benefits were given all the local council houses around and I was left to struggle to pay private rent and then was forced to buy as my private rent was on a top floor flat with dampness without an elevator to get the pram up!!  Is that fair??  I had no choice but to get a mortgage and a lifetime of worry to pay back because I was married I wasn't able to get a council house.  

Am I being stereotypical or Jealous?  I don't know, all I do know is the government never helps me or my family, but they are willing to take my taxes to help others!

Answer 6

Mom not mum

Whats a mum? seriously...

Answer 7

I have no problem with Single mums in council houses.  The problem is with lazy people who keep popping out kids and expect the government (i.e. taxpayer, i.e me) to support them and their offspring.

I know many single mums who work hard and still manage to look after their kids.

p.s. your mortgage claim is a bit counter-productive.  If you don't own your own home you are throwing away several hundred pounds each month - where if you are paying a mortgage at least you have a house at the end of it...

Answer 8

No i'm not I am married and own my home but theres nothing wrong with single parents or council homes.

I lived in a council home for a few years myself it was the neighbours that were horrible...saying that now I own my house the neighbours are worse!!!

Don't let people get to you...you know you aren't a s***k so who gives a $hit what anyone else thinks.

Answer 9

I'm not a single mum in a council home, but unfortunately, it's all down to stereotyping. Everybody is guilty of it at some point! I always try and think to myself it's whats on the inside that counts, yet I am prejudiced too (not towards single mums and their kids though), it's nature sadly.

Answer 10

hi i am a single parent of a 10 yrs old girl i live in a council house too, i dont feel i am any of those things you describe as i am self empolyed and making a fantastic life for us yes things could be better but i dont believe the grass is greener.  

you should ignore what people say they clearly have problems not you, you are doing the best for your children and you shoud be proud to say i am a mum and i do my best.

thats all that matters as long as you teach your children right from wrong no one can lable you in anyway other than being a fantastic mother.

Katy

Answer 11

i think people have a grudge against single mums in your position because of the teenage mums these days with their hands out,usually the case is that they have never worked or paid any tax and then they have a baby and live off benefits, then get a council house and pay hardley anything to live, and then people who have waited until they have a job and a house, stuggle to pay bills, i.e council tax, mortgage because they are on maternity leave and are not getting nearley enough that they would earn being in work, and get hardley any help off the government for being a good citizen, im not seyin this is you but there are a lot of young mums with this attitude and being there main goal in life and it gives people who have worked and live in a council house a bad name, i know this because my cousin is 19 and on her 2nd baby and she has said to my face ' why should i work when the social can pay for me' she is thinking about herself, where you know you are doing the best for your children so dont let anyone put you down!

Answer 12

What, THIS is so wrong!!

You must know that a lot of people are just ignorant morons, so you have no choice but to ignore them, people do tend to speak without knowledge.......

As for the House situation, I would say, GO TALK to a ‘financial expert’ and have your eyes open with delight at what can be done once you understand how best to use your available money, remember 98% of people have no clue in this area!!

People do not understand that things like ‘ Housing Benefits’ SHOULD be paid to them first, and then they pay their landlord, this then represent income as far as your bank is concerned, ask the bank.

Before I leave the house to shop I check all the stores online, example Tesco has 2 for one on Apna Basmati rice, Birds Eye Fish Fingers, king prawns, Pg Tips, Lynx shower gel, etc, etc, etc, what do I do?

I buy up to 20 of any of those items, and always check when the offer ends with the hope to get more. There is not one item that is not on offer some ware.

Work smart, not hard. Good luck to you

edit:

Yahoo Answer, is pack full of People who are ‘on here’ with Agenda’s and ‘Axe to grind’ there are also hate mongers and people seeking out victims, Please DO not take them to Heart, you and your children have every right to live & enjoy your life. Bless

edit:

Like the idiot below who wants to correct your spelling, you @rshole hey donkey-Boy I would like to get hold of you and give Ya a real good SLAP, Boy!!!

I read your Q/A page, hey IDIOT, what is (ultiamte & sahara desert) U FOOL!!!

‘U understand the term (Kettle calling the pot black)

Answer 13

as long as you and your kids  then nothing else matters hun so dont listen to other people xx

Answer 14

i can see what your saying!! where i come from a lot of girls that i know of or went to college with only got pregnant so they could get a council house to move out of their parents houses!! what kind of life are those kids going to have being brought into the world only so their mother could get a house!  you can see why people think this sometimes but its a horrible thought that everyone gets painted with the same brush! everyone has different circumstances!  just ignore them, your obviously working hard and have worked hard so i don't see why people would put you into that category!

Answer 15

I have read these answers to your question and would just like to say that not all houses on what are classed as council estates are council houses. A lot are now privately owned now due to the right to buy legislation brought in by Mrs Thatchers government. Single mothers are frowned upon because of old fashioned middle class values that are still peddled by the media today just  stop and take a look around you are all the kids you know who are growing up in 2 parent house holds little angels how many of them are thugs and tearaway's  how many of them come from middle class back grounds with working parents. Ask your self why do we belittle single moms and yet we praise single fathers who are in the same situation?

Answer 16

You are being just as judgemental about fat people and scrubbers. Everyone has their own story. You might find their needs are as genuine as yours.

Answer 17

take a look around sweetie.......

you are one of the odd few who dont fit into that catagory........

Answer 18

Im not a single mum and i dont live in a council house,

But i feel for you. Your right its not your fault the father of your kids lefted you. Sorry to hear that by the way. I guess its because people do see alot of women and men that are lazy and claming benefits, So only remeber the bad not thinking about the good people who dont. And your right there not all like that. But the ones who are let everyone els down. Its good you spend most your money on your kids, i admire you for that. As long as your happy who cares what over think. I wouldnt. :)

All the best

Answer 19

we don't all fink that way proud of ya love good on ya lol

Answer 20

While I do feel for you, I am afraid you are in the minority with regards to your situation.

Too many young girls see getting pregnant as a perfect way to get your own house and contribute next to nothing to society.

Take, for example my sister in law.  She is now pregnant with her 4th child by 3 different fathers, hasn't worked since being pregnant with the first (who is now 13) and, her husband, poor little soul MIGHT have to get a job because the benefits might not provide enough money when this one comes along.

Now, look at me and my family.  Up until a week ago, we lived with my in-laws, despite having a 3 month old baby of our own.  Now, we've moved into rented accomodation we can barely afford (and only can because of some major cut backs) but we get nothing because I work for a living.

This is why people who stay at home are "picked on" as you say because those of us who are employed to pay for those who see children as a way to an income are without having to work for it fed of paying stupid amounts of tax (22% these days) of what is hard earnt income to struggle by to look after their own families!

Answer 21

I know exactly what you mean Huni.  I am a 27 year old single mum of 3 kids 7,5 & 3 (all to the same dad), I used to live in a council house but have had to rent privately due to the brak up of my 11 year relationship - not good.  I like you use all the money I have to feed, cloth & treat the kids alongside paying rent, bills, childcare etc.  I still work but only part time as that little bit of extra money comes in handy.  I feel the people that look down on us should be givin a swift kick as nobody wants to be a single mum & in my opinion maybe they are just jealous that we can still be happy & bring our kids up wonderfully whilst doing it on their own whilst they are in a non happy relationship, who knows?  Also there is nothing wrong with Council Housing.  I was brought up in a council house for 14 years befopre my mum & dad could afford to buy their own home, which dont get me wrong was beautiful but then again its the home my dad will be retiring in.

You do as your doing Huni & your kids will be happy as should you cause with the sounds of things you are doing a fab job. xx

Answer 22

it's just a society steritypical view. not everyone thinks like that, but the ones that do like to make it known.

as long as your happy with your situation, or as happy as can be, why let other @ssholes get you down. like to see them do what you do if they were in your situation, they would probably break down!  it's always the @ssholes that think everyone wants to hear what they have to say, they just dont have anythink better in life to do but to victimise the same person for there own kicks regardless fo how you will feel.

Answer 23

I know all single mums are not scrubbers or lazy... One of my friends is 40 was married for 20 years before her husband lefter her for another woman.. She has 4 daughters same father works a 30 hour week on minimum wage rest of the time is spent looking after her younger kids helping with their homework etc all the money she gets goes on bill or her kids... She takes a little money for herself and that's it.. She makes sure her kids are well fed clothed and looked after..  She also lives in a council house

Answer 24

Unfortunately it's the ones who fit the label who let single mums down.  I am married with two children.  My husband and I have slogged our guts out to buy our own home (with no assistance from the state) and provide a good life for our children.  It galls us when stupid young girls get pregnant and get a house handed to them gratis.  Which idiot is it who's paying for that??  Oh yes, it's me.  Look at it from my point of view and you'll see why single mums are targeted.

Answer 25

I think that mothers like you are under-represented in the UK. Yob culture is rife at the moment and a lot of these problems do come from council estates, that's not to say that all kids and parents from estates are bad people. People form stereotypes and stick with them, it's unfortunate but it happens.

Sounds like you're doing a good job, so long as you do your best by your kids and yourself I wouldn't worry about what small-minded, judgemental people think of you.

Answer 26

Well I think it's nice that our country has a support system for single Mums unlike the states where they are basically left to it with no support apart from whatever the father can give.

I think it takes a strong person to be a single mother, there's not many who would not be able to cope.

It's a shame the ones who do the bad things give the 90% remainder a bad name. But I say good job and you should be proud of yourself! :D

X

Answer 27

im not a single mum but my mum was and we lived in a council flat i think it is harsh the way people label single mums who cares if your single or with a bloke. as i said my mum was a single mum and i am more then happy with the way my childhood was i didnt have to listen to none of the arguing from parents or stuff like that. well done to the work your doing with your kids keep up the good work. x

Answer 28

I used to be a single mum in a council house and I've heard all these crappy views too. A few years ago, while I was in work (on the till at a shop) speaking to a customer, some1 I didn't even know butted in and more or less accused me of becoming a single mum just to get a council house!!! I couldn't believe it, the bloody cheek! Anyway I got so fed up I started pointing out that there are plenty of married couples who have kids and don't work who live in council houses, and at least I worked part time.

God I could waffle about this for ages.

Next time people have a go at you tell them to get stuffed, there is nothing wrong with living in a council house.

AAAAAAAAAARGH SOMEONE GET ME OFF MY SOAPBOX OR I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY!!!!!!

Answer 29

do u have a job?

Answer 30

I wouldnt judge you for being in a council house. I would admire you for keeping it clean and bringing your children up well. Life knocks us down and sometimes we dont always end up where we thought we would be and i totally get that as i too am a single mum. I accept that a minority of children being brought up on benefits and living in council houses do well and are brought up properly, but that is a minority not the majority.

BUT...as a working single mother, I do get annoyed at paying almost £1000 a month in tax, to support others who think they should have the choice whether they work or not. I am all for supporting truly disabled or ill people who cannot work but it is my view that having children is not a good enough excuse not to work if you cannot support yourself. I would have loved to be a stay at home mum, but when i became a single parent that was not an option open to me.

I would never call you a scrubber, assume you were fat or that your children were from different fathers and i have every sympathy for women left holding the babies when a father walks out, especially when you have been in a long term stable relationship, but i am afraid i do judge you on work ethic because I too get sick of being lumped in with the stereotypical benefit claiming single mum. You might not be the stereotype in that you look after your children well and you are fortunate to have been given a house in a nice area, but you fit the stereotype to a tee in that you dont think you should work to support your family.

Answer 31

i symapathise with you i have the opposite problem i live just outside S****y area in a brand new estate im married and own my home and i  get called s****. b*****d by other mums at the school