Single parents and their harships?

Question

What are some hardships that you've had to endure as a single parent? Like what have people in your community said to about you being a single parent, do people have a problem with it? I'm taking a class on philosphy in the 21st century at a camp I'm going to and right now we're doing like familys. Someone has g*y families, someone else has like traditional families, so on and so on. My topic is single parents. Can anyone help me out?

Answer 1

Some hardhips depend on whether or not the other side is actively involved.  My daughter is 7 and has pretty much grown up without her father.  Besides Financial woes and Dating issues(you should not involve your children w/a possible romantic involvment unless it gets serious) not finding a babysitter etc. but there are a lot of emotional issues that have to be dealt with especially as the child gets older.  People, if you are young look at you funny and most people put there two cents in whether or not you are looking for any insight.  Another thing that as a single parent you have to deal with is your own emotions.  You always feel like you have something to prove.  Especially to your family and friends.

Answer 2

I was a single mom for many years and worked full time, sometimes it was really hard to do, mostly it was worth it, mostly I was admired for working and being a single mom of 4 children, I didn't want to be a welfare mom but I did have to have state help with housing (I paid the majority), medical and day care. I think welfare single moms are looked down on because they use their children as an excuse, working gives you more self esteem. Lack of sleep was probably the biggest problem. My oldest is now 23 and a Marine twice in Iraq, my 22 y.o daughter owns her own bakery business and my 17 and 14 y.o. are in school still, I think we made it ok, there were ups and downs but every family has them. I'm engaged now all these years later, I think it will be more difficult now trying to blend our family but we're going to counseling to work things out before we get married so that it will work. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I have been a single parent by choice for the last 4 years. My first reason was necessity since my husband was abusive, but I have come to appreciate being on my own since it's so much easier making my own decisions than having to answer to someone else.

I think the hardest time I've had is financially since I wasn't prepared for single parenthood and I relied greatly on others, including government support, until I finished college.  Had I been wiser and gotten a college education before having children, I might have been able to bypass this step.

Socially, I get tired of the stereotypes presented.  First, people tend to assume I want a man and I get frustrated at those who don't believe I actually choose to live alone.  I happen to believe it is healthier for myself and my children if we don't have men coming through our house all the time.

However, I have heard people who don't even know me make comments like, "it's just sad when people have to learn the hard way about birth control" (Hello, I was married at that time), and "Can you imagine what those children's lives must be like without a father-figure?" (Apparantly they don't know exactly what kind of figure he was).  As common as single parents are these days, it just seems rare that people assume something positive about it.  I often feel I have to defend myself by trying to appear as confident, rather than admitting weaknesses and opening myself up to criticism.

Answer 4

i was a single parent  still am  I remmembered I was 19  when I had my second child ( he has a chest problem)  he was a couple of months  old. I was working however didnt have enough money to take him to a doctor and applied for medicaid I really needed badly since he was wisping  when he cried it was terrible I was denied . I had already one job so I had to borrow money and I did end  up with two jobs.  One from 5am -4pm the other 4pm till 12 am. ( yes I was making money under the table ) ( these jobs were at a gas station in case your woundering0   this was everyday I hated it  but I had to provide for my babies . My babysitter and grandma watched them  I missed them terribly but I have no regrets. Actually people admired me  especially men  they said i was a tough gal . The funny thing  was that the men  who admired me the most where arab and hispanic men who where brought up to be macho man . My p**i friends brought me food since I never packed my own  I was to tired and preffered to sleep . Now I can say I did go to college and had two part times one part time was at the school where my daughter  attended  it was hard  but hey I made it another one was at sears on sundays  I went to college on saturdays as well.

Answer 5

Let's not be stupid here. What do you think it's like as a single parent... most likely a mother because she is the one carrying the child and if the relationship ends it's ultimately her to care for the child. Try being able to work and find child care and support a family on a single income. Not to mention the stigma of unmarried mother in our society (it's worse if she's younger).

Answer 6

Single parents face many economic and social barriers that married parents do not.

Socially it is often assumed that the chiild of a single parent family is less disciplined than nuclear families. That they have more problems with school and the law. That they have lower socioeconomic status. That there is a lack of moral fibre about them. That they have been forced into this position not chosen to bet there. that they are somehow a burden on the community.

Financially being a single parent can be more difficult but many single parent families are headed by well paid professionals so the strereotype of families living in poverty is not really always accurate. Arranging social or extracurricular activities is more difficult with only one parent to co-ordinate driving kids around and picking them up. The parent has less time for themselves because there is no one to share the housework with. they have to deal with illness and accidents without the support of a partner but many have very good extended family networks to help with that.

I hope this helps. Please try to remember that single parent families are not all about negativity and neglect. Some of the best parents are single parents. Bill Clinton, Tom Cruise and John Travolta were all raised by single mothers. So were Barack Obama and Keanu Reeves.

EDIT: I didn't mean to imply that single parent familes never suffer financial hardship. I was a single mother myself for almost a year so I know what burdens you shoulder and how hard it is to make ends meet. I just wanted you to think about single parents who were somewhat atypical according to the general perceptions in the community.

Answer 7

I am a 36 year old single mother of a preschooler.  I have been divorced long enough that I do not think that she knows I have ever been married.  It is difficult raising her alone but much better than living with violence.  I have not noticed any criticism from others regarding my situation.  I think my daughter has from other kids at her daycare.  Almost all of her friends are from traditional families and their fathers take on a much more active role in their lives.  She is very bright and seems to have comes to terms with the difference.