Sister-In-Law Advice Needed?

Question

I need some advice about my current sister-in-law situation. I am an only child and was happy to be gaining a new brother-in-law (my husband’s brother) and sister-in-law (husband’s brother’s wife). However, the animosity from this girl towards me started from the get-go. My husband and I got engaged first and then they stole our thunder and got engaged 3 weeks later (after 1 month of dating). Then, they raced to alter to be married before us, USING THE SAME DESTINATION WEDDING SPOT we had already planned and booked. Then, we showed up to the reception and this girl had used the SAME COLORS as we had already planned. Needless to say, no one was excited or surprised when our wedding came along. She didn’t even attend my bridal shower or wedding reception because ‘she didn’t feel like it’.

However, I have tried not to dwell on all of these things and be nice to her. When we’re at family gatherings, she will not speak to me or even look at me. If I ask her a question directly or try to start a conversation, she will address the room with an answer, change the subject, or ignore me altogether. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what I have done wrong. I don’t want to even try anymore because I look like an idiot trying to kiss her butt. Does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

Sounds like she's either really competitive, or just plain uppity.

And since you can't think of anything you've done wrong, I wouldn't concern myself with it. If bro-in-law and the rest of the family is cool with you, then don't sweat it. You don't need her acceptance to belong.

For the life of me though, I'll never understand why people consider it stealing ones thunder, for other family members to be celebrating happy occasions of their own. Did you by any chance let her know you were unhappy with her choices for her wedding? Or tell someone who could have told her? That may be a trigger for her cold shouldering you.

If, any other happy times occur for them happen to occur around happy occasions going on for you, anything from the birth of a child, to even a job promotion,.. don't look at it as gloom and doom, she's taking my thunder, look at it as a reason for a double celebration. Who knows, she may decide to offer you the olive branch of friendship.

***Take the high road, be the better woman. To "play with your in-laws, is only playing with fire. Is sister-in-law worth risking the respect of the rest of your in-laws, as well as possibly your own marriage? Besides someone has to be the adult, why not you?

Answer 2

Leave her and her husband out of anything you ever have planned, and ignore the b*tch. She is one sick puppy. Bet on her husband eventually breaking up with her over her drama.

Engagements and weddings are not supposed to be something you compete over. They are supposed to be celebrations.

How did she get wind of your colors and all that? Is the MIL finking out your plans to these two?  Find the leak!

You want to really start some stuff? Get your husband to tell his family that you two are putting together a nursery... and maybe tell him some outrageous color scheme (how about a dinosaur theme?). See how fast that will get around, and what the SIL does. With that done, you just do whatever you want, knowing the SIL is probably already pregnant and running her gutless husband out for pickles and ice cream every evening.

Learn to play your in-laws.  

Answer 3

You know how it is when sometimes you meet someone new and you

both just click. Well this sounds like you and her just don't click.  I think she is one of those girls who thinks she is better then others. She would like you better if you ignored her. You need to talk to others

around her and not address her at all.  

Answer 4

just  talk  to  them

Answer 5

How come is so important for you, she is definitely jealous of you, maybe you are prettier than her? Let me guess maybe she is already pregnant or making sure you don't get pregnant!!! Stop trying so hard once she notice you don't care she will be the one being friendly to you....focus on your marriage that's it..

Answer 6

ok so how is her marriage going with your brother-in-law? because i think that if u and ur husband are having a better marriage she may be jealous. well, if u have already tried to talk to her so many times, and she just ignores you, it's not worth it. i know she's ur family but if she doesn't want to talk to you don't beg her. if this does keep happening, make sure u guys have a one-on-one talk and tell her how u feel and ask her why she does what she does. maybe things will get better soon. hope this helped a little. good luck!