Sister asks for more Affection?

Question

My little sister is one confusing person. She is 8 years younger than me, her being 14 years old currently, me being 22. Well anyways, she is very VERY reserved, she has a few friends that she is very close with, but nobody else. She also does not talk with our parents much or our older brother, she never has. The only person she is close to in our family is me. It is odd, growing up she ALWAYS seeked me out, but I do not know why.

Our parents never have given the most affection to us. They were fine parents, but there never was much love. My sister has ALWAYS, especially right now, looked to me and always wants me to hug her and kiss her, which still confuses me. Now I have never been much of someone to hug and kiss, but with her I will sometimes, but not everytime. And now that I am going to Jordan for two years, she wants to spend every moment with me, which is draining me quite a bit.

Now let me get to the point... recently she approached me and complained about me not showing her enough affection, which I suppose means I am not hugging her enough our something. Any help on all these questions... Why does she like me so much more than everyone else? Why is she always looking for a hug? Why does she want more hugs from me, and what should I do to show more affection?

Answer 1

If she has come right out and asked you, then she obviously is feeling a need that is not being filled.  You said yourself that your parents are not really affectionate people, and it could be that your sister is just wired differently.

If you feel comfortable about it, then go ahead and hug her often or touch her arm or whatever you feel conveys affection.  But, if you are not wired that way and do not feel comfortable with physical affection, then tell her so.  She needs to respect that but at 14 years old she may take it as a personal rejection.  If you aren't comfortable giving her physical affection, can you try giving her more verbal affection?  Giving her compliments, having some "in-jokes" with her, etc.

As for why she likes you best, it is hard to say.  Maybe because you are more responsive to her need for affection.  Often siblings are closer to each other than to their parents.  Maybe she just thinks you are a great person!

I know my younger sister is very clingy and sometimes it is too much for me - she is always touching me and trying to hold my hand and things like that (and she is 34) and sometimes I just have to say "Enough" - she thinks she is showing her affection for me but doesn't realize she is actually driving me crazy.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Why don't you just hug her?

She's your sister after all.

Maybe she looks up to you so much because you know how your parents are, and since your the closest in age to her (im assuming) then why wouldn't she feel close to you?

Maybe she wants re-assurence that someone, atleast one person out there, loves her? Not in the "lover" way. Just in the family/friends way. She's 14. For girls, thats an emotional h**l.  

Answer 3

just  tell  them

Answer 4

Tell her to get some friends or help her get some friends because she's diverting all of her attention to you