Sister in law problem ?

Question

My sister in law is very born-again, and very homophobic. Our next door neighbors are a g*y couple. They are extremely nice, and we are very good friends. They have adopted twin daughters my daughter's age, and she is very good friends with them. My daughter knows what g*y means, and my husband and I are supportive of our neighbors. They are terrific parents. Now, my sister in law, whenever she comes over she never fails to bash homosexuality at least 20 times. she does it all in front of my daughter, who is getting confused. When either my husband or I talk to my sister in law, it doesn't work and she just quotes something from the bible and leaves. I don't want her to say those kinds of things in front of my impresionable kid, and I fear she might repeat it to her friends, who could tell their dads.

How do I deal with this?

Answer 1

This is horrible!  How often does she visit?

By your description I am assuming that these putdowns only occur when she is at your home because she sees/knows that your neighbors are homosexual?  She doesn't bring it up unless she has that visual reminder does she?  Because if she just plain brings it up at any interaction, then she is just plain weird.

Suggestion#1 - if this only happens when she has that visual reminder coming over to visit (and you say you've already discussed it with her) then when making plans with her just make them at another venue; a restaurant or park or other public place AWAY from your house.  This way there is no "visual" AND you can just get up and excuse yourself and child if she does bring it up.  You could just say, you know we just came to enjoy your company, we've already asked you to not discuss this subject at all, especially when our child is present, when you decide that this is a subject you can leave at home call us so we can plan to meet again because we do love to spend quality time with you.

Suggestion#2 - Go visit her at her house. Again, you are in control of leaving and what your child is subjected to.

Suggestion#3 - Ask your neighbors about what their experiences have been and what techniques they have employed that have worked for them.  I am sure that they don't want their children to be left with the same impression you're afraid your child will be left with after hearing your sister-in-law's opinions.  You don't have to name names; but this could be a really valuable discussion for you.

Lastly, perhaps, just make the visits short and sweet so that they end on a good note.  It's like a play date with a toddler!  Good luck with this. It just really bites when it's a family member that you have to work around with.

Answer 2

If your sister in law cannot grow up then I would not invite her over at all.

Answer 3

stop letting her in

Answer 4

just explain to her that this is a problem then give her a chance too see if she changes, if she doesn't then you should tell her she is not welcome around the kids or your home anymore