Sister-in-law trying to pull cruel joke!!?

Question

My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) is just a vegetarian and thinks that vegans are crazy since they do not use any animal products at all.

She has a vegan co-worker that is leaving for a new job and the workplace is throwing her a going away party (for the co-worker).

She does not like this girl. She wants to give her a gift basket that includes a jar of organic honey, a wool hat and scarf set, some brie cheese, a box of tea leaves, two small loaves of french bread, and a bees wax candle!!

I know the tea is not a problem, but I'm not sure on the bread (some places do an egg wash on breads to make them shiney!)

The problem is, she is in charge of purchasing the gift basket at the company's expense. They gave her $100 and told her to put something nice together. She knows this girl is a vegan and knows it'll just put her in an akward situation.

How can I convince her to take the high road and just be kind in giving a gift?

Answer 1

give her a list of things she cannot put in the basket.

so if she does put any of those things in, you will know she did it on purpose.

so she less likely to do it.

make sure u smile when u give it to her so it looks just like u were trying to help her out.(which u kinda are)

tlk with other ppl involved tell them the situation,

and let her know tht everyone knows.

and no1 wants to be embarassed in front of all those ppl.

is tht good?

i hope so.

:)

goodluck!

Answer 2

That's a very sticky situation! Remember this- peace comes from within. You'll gain nothing from being spiteful.

I remember that from pilates/ yoga class.

Answer 3

Take your sister-in-law aside and explain to her that it's not a cruel joke against the vegan who is leaving, but a stupid move that is going to get her in trouble with her other co-workers!  The vegan is not going to be put out at all.  After all, she's not losing anything but a dumb gift she probably wasn't expecting anyways.  She can pick through it, use what she wants and ditch the rest.  The people your sister-in-law is really hurting are the ones who provided the money and are trusting her to get a nice going away gift for the vegan!  If I was someone who had given $100.00 for a nice gift and saw the gift basket your sister-in-law got, I would be really pissed off at her!  She is going to make trouble for herself at work and no one will ever trust her to be in charge of the gift-getting again.  Tell her to smarten up and act her age.  She has a responsibility to her co-workers to get the vegan something nice, something that represents the whole company, not just her own petty attitude!

Answer 4

Its a horrible thing to do, and wasting everyone else's money that they put towards it. Tell her she is being immature.

Answer 5

Some people are just dang cruel.

It seems just cos she doesn't like this girl she is going to waste money on gifts the poor girl will be horrified to receive.

If it was me that was getting the gift i wouldn't give her the satisfaction,and would smile sweetly,take the gift,then donate it.

The nasty girl loses and the nice girl leaves feeling she got one on the nasty girl

Answer 6

I don't think this is really any of your business unless the person receiving the gift basket is a friend of yours. Then I'd let that individual know. Know matter what you say to your sis-n-law she probably has her mind already made up and you'd be wasting your time talking to her. But do it if it will make you feel better.

A little egg isn't going to harm anyone and what she doesn't know, won't hurt her. Is this really a big enough deal for you to jeopardize your future relationship with her and your bro?

Answer 7

This is clearly an HR violation. She would be fired if they found out that she had prior knowledge and did it with negative intent. If she were fired she would also be subject to civil liability as well as liability from the company if the leaving employee sued them.

Answer 8

OMG, that's terrible!

What a horrible thing to do to someone else. You'd think that she would know what type of ridicule and hardhips veg*ns go through being a veggie herself.

If you two are close, I'd offer to go with her to purchase the gift basket. If you don't let up and try your very best convince her that this is a bad idea, perhaps she'll change her mind once she gets to the store. At that point, you two can look for vegan goods together.

Good luck with that!

(yikes)

Answer 9

We vegans have enough trouble with the nasty omnis of the world; we don't need ovo-lactos adding to our misery.  Wow, what a rotten woman.  Since this is misappropriation of company funds, someone should talk to your sister-in-law about the use and abuse of company funds in buying things she knows full well the recipient won't use.  This is certainly cruel, but it's no joke.

Answer 10

Tell your sister in law to grow up.  This is something an immature and mean spirited person would do and it will make her look like a complete idiot...which apparently she already is if she is serious about buying those things.

Answer 11

Oh my, that's an awful thing to do to someone. When the company finds out they will be angry. Maybe you should let her learn the lesson?

Have a great day!

Answer 12

Shave her head in her sleep and give her hair back to her in a gift basket.

Gifts make the beginnings of forgiveness.

Answer 13

let her know she will be looked down on by the higher ups, and the items will just go to waste becasue the person will not use them.

she is an idiot!

Answer 14

I'm sorry, but what a COMPLETE COW!

That's so cruel (to the animals as well)

Maybe she'll tell her bosses before she leaves and get her in trouble. Deserves it.

Does she ever want to advance in the company or get a good reference? What a stupid thing to do.

Just tell her what'll happen at work if it all comes out. It might scare her out of it, if the plea not to do something cruel and immoral will not.

Answer 15

First- it isn't exactly cruel- vegans aren't shocked at the sight of honey or woolens.

Second- it isn't really a joke.  Jokes, by definition, are supposed to be funny.

She is probably just mouthing off.  Such an act wouldn't put the vegan co-worker in an awkward situation- it would just make your sister-in-law look ignorant and petty.

It would also be a really stupid move, career wise.  Even though she's leaving, the co-worker in question could file a complaint for harassment, (which would, at the very least, go in your sister in law's HR file) and using company funds in a juvenile attempt to provoke someone could certainly be viewed as misappropriation.  

Think of it this way, what if the co-worker were Jewish, and your sister in law bought her a ham?  Who looks stupid?  And would anyone be shocked when she was fired?

Tell her to grow up.