Sister problems!!!!!?

Question

My sister, my enemy. We are both middle age. We have not gotten along since I can remember. She is 10 years older and has always been jealous of me. I don't know why, my life hasn't been that great. She likes to be the center of attention and I am completely the opposite. She is very negative and talks bad about people. My Mother, Father, and Brother have all past away and she has nothing but bad things to say about them. I cannot relate, I miss them. She has torn me down all of my life with little subtle cutting remarks. While I have always not said a thing.

She visited a month ago. Here cutting remarks were more brutal than usual. Everything was wrong with me from the time she got here until the time she left. Her final comment as I dropped her off at the airport was that my blouse was pretty I just need bigger b***s. For the first time I said what I was thinking. I said: Yeah I need bigger b***s and you need a smaller a$$. We haven't spoken since. Should I delete her from my life

Answer 1

No don't delete her from your life...but only have her in your life on your terms...she behaves the way she does because she can...you have allowed her to treat you in this manner...now it's time to take control of your own life...you decide the things you will accept from her and if she doesn't  like it then remember that's her problem...just be strong and stand up to her...without any screaming and fighting..do everything in a calm , firm , dignified manner...and only have her visit you.. when it is convenient for.

Answer 2

i can relate my sister and i r a year and eight months apart.i m the baby in the family,we were never close so weird our brother and her r 5 years apart and r closer than her and i,i always did and had everything b 4 her the clothes,my place ,car ,moved out,all on my own,no body's helps my dad was more harder on me to b more independent,they always did more 4 her and my brother,but my mom and sister were jealous b Cu's my was always there 4 me  and as a kid my gave me everything but taught me nothing comes free,just last year my best friend and the only person i ever trusted passed away which is my dad,he is the first person to pass away n our entire family,but now we r alot closer then ever and my brother r closer also,more then ever since he just got deployed to Iraq our one and only brother,my dad was and is the world to our family oldest n d family ,all u have n this world when everyone Else lets u down is Ur family and one day Ur sister will realize that be the better person just as u have been i know its hard believe me,u two only got each other,

Answer 3

Yes, she has no right to talk disrespectfully about the people close to you that have passed away.  I wouldn't be horrible to her as this is angling her way...just have as little to do with her as possible.  Interact with people who will support you, are helpful and friendly.  Don't let her get you down too much...she has no right to do that.

X

Keep your head held high and your mother, brother and father will be proud of you.

Well done for sticking with her this long!

XX

Answer 4

Just forget about everything she has done to you.

You dropped her off the airport and hopefully she'll never come back.

If she does come back just delete her off your cell phone or something and move into a different house or apartment. =)

Answer 5

I would try to keep away from her as much as possible, but still keep up contact if possible, she is you sister after all. It sounds like she has problems with being close to people and forming relationships and that is a for her to work out for herself. I think you were right to stand up to her rudeness and answer back, maybe she will think about this and change her ways. Perhaps you should give her a call just to ask if she is ok.

Answer 6

Yes you should. Really she is not worth it.

Answer 7

just cause she is your sister, who gives her the right to put you down all the time. she must be really jealous of you deep down

Answer 8

families.... Most of us have this definition in life that family should be there for each other always loving and supportive. Unfortuanetly most of the time it isn't that way. We all have to decide if the relationship is helping us or hurting us. If it isn't helping us why do we feel the need to keep putting ourself up for the same degridation and hurt over and over again.

My opinion is to keep in touch to a point. On the phone as soon as she starts to talk negative or mean figure out an excuse why you have to get off the phone. See if she finally gets it.

At your house it can be more difficult. You will need to decide whether her visits are worth it for you. If they are not then don't let those guilt feelings run you. Hopefully you can be honest and talk with her. I would NOT mention the jealous thing, but tell her it is hard to be around her because she is so negative and that is so hard on you.

Don't do it in a mean way just be sincere that she is your family and you would really like a relationship with her, but you just can't go on like this. See if it makes any difference and if not and you think the best thing to do is quit letting her visit then go on with your life and realize you did everything you could to be part of her life, but you don't have to put up with that disruption in your life.

You may feel a lot of guilt at first, but it should get easier.

Answer 9

I may have a sister, but we don't really go through that level of fighting. I would probably say to at least stand up. Stand up for what you think is right. You have the right to speak up too you know. Everyone does. I hope that helped.