Sister trouble! Can you please help me?

Question

My little sister is 6 years old and in first grade first grade. She was adopted from China when she was younger. Well, my parents work so when she comes home from school I babysit her and today she came home crying because yesturday when my mom took her to school late the kids noticed she had a different color and today they told her that my mom and dad didn't love her because they just left her to be babysat by some strange lady for the rest of her life. How can I help her? I told her she was loved and that I love her more than anything. I told my mom and she contacted the school but I still feel so bad, I'm not adopted so I don't know any of these things. Please help us!!

Answer 1

Tell her she is special, she comes from a beautiful place, China. Tell her to not listen to them. And that you love her soooooooo much.

Answer 2

This makes me so mad!  You did the very best thing that you could do by telling your mom and dad.  AND your mom and dad did exactly what they should do by talking to the school.  Talk to your mom and dad and tell that to make sure that the school has a program about understanding diversity in our world.  It is very, very important that your sister's school understands the need to teach about all of the different kinds of people and families in the world.

I think that you are an awesome older sibling for protecting your little sister!  Three cheers for you!

Answer 3

I agree with another poster.  Tell her that she was chosen by you and your family because you loved her above all else. She is a part of your family and nothing will ever change that.

She needs to be secure in your love and in her secure place in your family.

You are a wonderful sibling who will try to make her feel at ease and wanted.  You get five stars.

Answer 4

OH MY GOD!!! thats terrible i cant believe 1st graders would be so malicious.  Well im not adopted either but my best friend is.  I like how you handeled it by telling her that she is loved because obviously your family does love her if they would have adopted her.  I think that if possible your sister should switch schools it may sound extreme but being six years old and already having to deal with mean kids is not healthy.  What you have to convince yourself is that they are ignorant six year olds they obviously dont know what there talking about and there just trying to make themselves feel better about something.  They also probably dont understand adoption and the many reasons why people put children up for adoption and its definatly NOT because they are unloved.  Another piece of advice i would give you is to maybe if your not to upset try to teach these kids about china and adoption so maybe one day they wont be so dumb.  Granted they are six year olds and probably dont want to listen to anything educational but talk to the teacher and see what she can do.

I hope this helps and my heart is really out to you thats a terrible thing to have to deal with especially at that age

Answer 5

Just tell her about bad kids and spend some quity time take her somewhere with animals shell forget them and remember you . also speak to the teacher or the principle . let her no she s loved

Answer 6

I am adopted and have some ideas on how to handle this.

1.  Assuming your little sister knows she's adopted, tell her that her birth parents (and explain to her what that means if she doesn't know) could not take care of her the way they wanted to and they knew your mom and dad would give her a house to live in and food to eat and clothes to wear.  They were very sad because they loved her so much, but they couldn't let her grow up without a house or food or clothes.

2.  Tell her your mom and dad picked her out of all the other children because she is special.  Most parents do not get to pick their child...they have to take whatever they get.  AND, your mom and dad got to got to another country to find her.  Most people just go to the hospital.

3.  Tell her that kids who say mean things to her are jealous because she is more special than they are.  She was born in a cool other country and got to come to America!

Being adopted is very special, but kids are cruel.  As your sister grows up, tell her more about what you know about her adoption.  Or have you mom and dad do it.  It is important for her to know the truth...when it's appropriate and she can understand it, you know what I'm saying?

Anyway, your sister is blessed to have a sibling care about her so much.

Answer 7

tell her real mom and dad loved her so much that they wanted her to have more than they could give,so they let her stay with your familytell her you are her family and that you all love her.tell her that the kids are stupid and are jealous because she has a family that really cares. just heep doing what you are doing, you are doing the right thing.remember it is not your fault .she is blessed to have a sister like you and loving parents.that is what really matters.

Answer 8

In Australia the kid's are all a different colour so no-body notices enough to care a hoot !. However in your case & situation, all the appropriate action seems to have been taken. Maybe the school will find time to perhaps point out to the other children, that your little Sister is an  "exotic" person & quite rare & special. By the time the kid's get around to looking up the word exotic , it'll be too late to tease, because they'll all be grown up!.With a lovely Sister like you she's a winner right now !

Answer 9

Just let her know that youa re there for her whenever she need you and always love her and nomatter what race and color she is and her parents are that its not whats onnt he outside its whats on the inside so just kee telling her you love her and hold her like you have never before

Answer 10

Six is old enough to understand some things.  Obviously you sister already knew she was adopted, but now might be a good time to talk about WHY.  Ask your parents first, of course, but then talk to her about the political situations in China.  Read her the story of baby Moses, who's biological mother loved him so much that she put him in a boat in the river so he could live.  (Veggie Tales makes a great version too.)  

Then reiterate the differences between "tummy mommies" and "heart mommies" or something of that nature.  Explain that love is thicker than blood.  However, she's probably pretty sure that you do love her (at least right now).  She's probably now just thinking about why she was so easy to throw away by her first family, and worried that it might be that easy again.  If you get her to understand WHY she was adopted, then she can begin to have faith that your love is strong enough to keep her.

Answer 11

hey,

you just need to explain to your sister what happened that her birth mom could not take care of her and that  her mother and father had the chance to pick her out that they wanted her you need to make sure she understand that even if her birth mother couldn't take care of her that she never has forgotten her and that

her mom and dad love her more then anything in the whole world

make sure she knows shes special that she was chosen

kids grow out of it i still remember all the times i came home crying my eyes out because the kids at school told me that my

real mom hated me and that's why she gave me away

others would laugh because i had a fake mom, but as soon as i understood what happened and why my birth mother gave me up and it was all explained to me it was a lot easier

she will always get upset and you and your parents need to understand that, adopted children go through a lot and the things that run through there heads what they think its hard for a child to deal with all you can do is explain things make sure she knows shes special she was chosen

Answer 12

i think that sad to hear that kids can be so mean.. i am adopted and i dont really remembering anything like that happening... but i do know that u can talk to her..have ur mom and dad there as well for support... tell her that her birth mother wasnt able to take care of her and that when ur parents saw her they fell in love with her and that SHE is UR sister.... and have ur parents explane to her that she is their daughter as well.. she needs to hear u guys tell her that she is loved and that she is part of ur family...

Answer 13

Try to explain to your sister that her Mom and Dad in China loved her very very much. Go on to explain that life in China is difficult and they did not feel that they could give her the life they wanted to if she stayed there. Then explain to her how much you and your parents wanted a baby in their family and before you know it you were blessed with her to love and cherish always.  She may not believe it, but keep telling her until she does.