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Six reasons not to mess with children. These are really funny.

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6 reasons not to mess with children.

1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow

a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was

very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a

human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to h**l?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children

while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see

each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked

what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl

replied, "They will in a minute."

3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with

her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy

Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)

answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying

to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown

up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,

He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the

teacher, she's dead."

5) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood

on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would

turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary

position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

6)The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic

elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large

pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table

was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the

apples.

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13 ANSWERS


  1. Darn! I never thought I'd laugh again at these jokes! thanks!


  2. Cute C:

    I like these especially because they aren't gross.

  3. hahaha. LOL. all of these are cute. I especially like the first one. when I finished reading the first one I laughed.

  4. This reminded me of the history of the world according to student bloopers.

    Check this link out

  5. HAHAHA! Real funny. But why is it that most of the reasons are mostly of religions?

  6. hehe these were cute.  

  7. i loved the first and last one

  8. really cute, kids say the darnest things

  9. thats hilarious, especially 1 and 4

  10. i like the 1 and 3 and 6!! LOL! kiddies

  11. they were really gr8

  12. rofl 1 now that is funny

  13. I can't stop laughing!!!

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