Sixteen and Pregnant, Please Help!

Question

first off, please dont put me down, i am under alot of stress and i dont need you people making me feel worse. okay im 16, and i just found out im pregnant. my boyfriend has been very supportive and told me that he will be there for me, with any decision i choose. I have told my mom, and she has told me i cant keep it, but i dont think i can go through an abortion because that isnt what i want, and why would i give up my innocent child if i dont want to. I really want to keep it, but the only way i can is if i move out. so what im asking is.. is this possible for me to do? my boyfriend will move out with me too, but im just wondering if we would have enough money, i would be able to work full time, but he is in college... so he would probably be able to work 6-8 hours after school, and he IS willing. will we be able to get through? can we do this? and also... i know that my aunt.. she is 18 and had a baby, i know she goes to school but gets paid every month about $1500, what is this? welfare? or what... i am going to be working, i just want to know if we can get through this...

Answer 1

"you people"? You're going to get honest opinions, even if you don't like them. You did the crime, you do the time. Big enough for s*x, big enough to hear things you don't like.

If you're 16, you can't move out.

You will have to deal with your mother. She can't make you abort. BUT she doesn't have to help you much either.

You won't have much of a life. How will you complete school with 2 am feedings? Or will you drop out and have a terrible job prospect your whole life? 6-8 hours of work ain't gonna cut it. He'd have to drop school and bust azz to buy everything. With no degree, good luck finding a job to do that.

Sure, you could go on welfare and have the taxpayers pay for your s***w up--when you are 18 and moved out of mommy's house. Not before that.

You both should have been completely prepared for a baby if you were prepared for s*x.

The only option that is worth a c**p here is to give the baby to a family who is prepared for a child for adoption. You don't have to kill it, a family is blessed, you learn your lesson and make something of your life.

Good luck, you will need it.

Answer 2

You can do it . my mom had my brother when she was 16 and me when she was 18 she got through it and kept us both just stick with it  

Answer 3

yo can probaly get state help dont give it up if u dont want to .  try to finish high school and get a job find a cheap apament or a family member u can move in with

Answer 4

keep your head up and stay strong keeping your baby is the right thing to do.dont worry your self with problems you cant solve rite away cuz you will stress your self and that is not good for u and the baby.you can do it no matter wat the situation is the best thing to do is prove to all the ppl that you can make it with a baby but dont quit. things will work out for you in due season godbless you and i will pray for you. your mother shld feel bad for puttin you out ike that. if so find someone that can keep u in the mean time

Answer 5

Don't give up your baby.....you're not the first 16 year old that's pregnant and your not going to be the last. My little sister was 16 when she got pregnant and had her baby when she was 17 and she's a d**n good mother. It can be done, don't let these people put you down you gotta be strong...fucc what anybody else has to say. I'm glad you want your baby...Dont get an abortion!

Answer 6

work full time as long as you can and stay with your parents as long as you can and put the money aside he needs to do the same. don't move before you have some money together. you will have to have enough saved for 1st, last and deposit on an apartment plus enough money to get your utilities set up, food in the house and some baby needs. don't worry about the baby clothes or furniture until last minute. you will be surprised at the things people give or loan you,  save  as much extra as possible. stay in school, an alternative school if your own school doesn't have a program for you. you can get state assistance and as long as you are enrolled in college after high school the state does help.   but really try not to. it will be hard to get off it and it may have to be paid back. if you can, find a relative or look for house sharing that will allow the 3 of you together. you will have to struggle and work hard, make alot of sacrafices but you can do it if you are determined. your not the first in this boat. good luck

Answer 7

Please dont judge your mum too harshly, she is probably trying to do the best for you, you need to think about yous and your baby's future, you will need a lot of support from both your families, if you and your boyfriend put on a united front and make her realise how much you want the baby I am sure she will come round. If you are strong enough you will get through anything, its upto you and your boyfriend.

Good luck

Answer 8

give us a break.  if the government money wasn't a facture then why did you even mention it?  I am tried of paying for pregnant girls who do not have a JOB, who can not pay for anything.  big deal about others who did it, they all got pregnant but tax paymers pay your bills.  what you need to do is find someone willing to pay for your mistake and let them raise the child.  give your mother a break for she did not raise you to make her a grandmother before her time.  give taxpayers a break and keep your clothes on.  

Answer 9

Hi,

First of all you are doing the right thing!!! You're a truly amazing person for keeping the baby. I don't get why people have abortions-its so cruel. So ya you are doing the right thing.

16 is pretty young, but you and your boyfriend should buy an apartment if your mom is going to be selfish and not let you stay there. Save up your money. Just make sure that you go to college and finish high school. If you boyfriend is commited to staying with you - go for it! you really don't have any other choices.

Good luck and i hope I helped!!!!! Like i said your awesome for not hving an abortion- your child is going to appreciate that!!!!

Have a nice day!

Answer 10

it will be difficult but you can do it.  

what if your boyfriends parents let you move in there and live in the basement?  that way you save some money but will be able to keep the baby

also if you are not sure if you will be able to take care of the child, you can always look into an open adoption.  where you are involved with the whole process and you can be involved with the child's life but they wouldn't know you as "mom".

you would be able to qualify for government assistance if you have to move out on your own.

Answer 11

well.. it would be extremly hard .

you would be giving up your education.. & what if you guys broke up ? then what ?

if abortion isnt your thing how about an open adoption .

this means the adoptive parents will keeps you updated (pictures, ect.)

plus you'd get visitation rights .

i dont think moving out with a bf & working full time would work for either of you.. especially so young .

Answer 12

i know that this may be hard for you but the best choice for you and the baby is 2 give it up 4  adoption 2 a caring loving, older family. That way the child would grow up in a better environment and you would be able to go off to college and therefore could get a better job, and more money. You could visit and have updates of the baby, and  i think it would be a good decision for both of you. It may be hard, but think of what would be best for your child.  

Answer 13

I think your great for been sensible about this and telling your mum and keeping the baby...it is your decision and don't let anyone change that =]

Maybe go to your local council as they put pregnant people on the priority list to get you in a home as soon as possible..give your mum space and maybe after or even before the baby is born she will forgive you and love her granddaughter.She may just be mad a the minuete.

Good luck ... you will be a great mom =)

x*x

Answer 14

I'm not saying you should give up your baby. But the reality of you and boyfriend making it on your own is rough. How are his parents reacting?? Will they help support? If so, you may consider living with them. $1500 is not much...it may sound like alot to a 16 year old but let me break it down. I'm 28 and married with 2 children. Our rent is $1275. Other bills are phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, gas, groceries...etc. Your baby will need medical insurance and that isn't free either. Babies can be very expensive as they need lots of stuff. Breastfeeding doesn't always work out so you may need to buy formula which is about $20-25 a can, they need clothes, medicines, bath stuff...it all adds up quick. If you decide to keep your baby...invite everybody you know to your baby shower and I mean everybody. Your goal is to get as many gifts as possible to ensure your baby has everything he/she needs.

Answer 15

(Heart)Sweet Cheeks(Heart) and BillyTheKid are not being mean. They are telling the truth. You're the one who had s*x at 16. You're the one who's pregnant. Why should we help? Your mom can't force you through, an abortion, but she doesn't have to aid you. You probably can't do this. You're six-, freakin,-teen years old. Next time you think before you do something stupid. Oh, wait! There will be no next time. YOU'RE ALREADY PREGNANT!

Edit: Hahahahahahahahaha! You know, I've Got The Answers!!!, from looking at that answer, you do have them. THE BAD ONES! How is her mom "selfish" because she doesn't want an idiot in her house. You've gotta be kidding!

Answer 16

I was 15 when i fell pregnant and my mam wanted me to get an abortion, but i refused, cos i just didnt want to kill my child. My boyfriend was very supportive too, and we knew we could give this child a loving environment! after i turned 16 we got a council house together. it was hard at first with money, but we got a few grants for furnture for the house. and to help with baby things. and We got help from Income support at first. was tight and upset us a lot because we didnt want to be on benefits. who does? but it had to be done at the time! and Ofcourse you'l do anything to provide for your child wouldnt you. Now the baby is 10 months old, boyfriends in work, iam starting a nursing course in college and we're looking into renting a house from a private landlord. Everything will come together in the end. i promise you that, and nowadays the gorverment or whoever it is wont let you struggle with a baby on the way etc, theyl provide you with all the help you need. and no matter what anyone says dont let them make you feel ashamed because you know youl be a great mam and eventually you'l work your way up and be in a great job giving your child an amazing life! good luck sweetheart! x x

First couple of weeks we lived together we lived on £40 a week. it was very hard. But i know it can be done Because me and my boyfriend are living proof and i cant stand when people say ive thrown my life away or that your throwing your life away, because you can still get an education like me, Theres a 50% chance your bf will stay with you (national statistics) and you can still go out and have fun with your friends. after my baby was about 4 months i started going out 1 night a month with my friends into town or something, and my social life is better than its ever been! x x

Answer 17

you should watch the movie Juno

Answer 18

you probably can't work full time.  Most states limit you to the number of hours you can work a week if you are under 18.  But even with both of you working at least 30 hours a week it will be hard to pay for rent, and all the utilities, and food and the baby diapers, formula and day care while you go to school and work.  A minimum wage job probably won't even cover all your day care expenses.  Your aunt could be getting child support, if that is the case then it's from the father of her child and it is based on what he makes in wages, and it is taken from his wages.   It could be welfare too....who knows.  I don't know if you can qualify for welfare or assistance at your age though, they might based it off of your parents income.  Look for healthy beginnings in your phone book or WIC.  They will be able to help you figure things out but not sure.  But really if you are both going to school all day and working all night, you will never be around your child except when she/he is sleeping at night.  Do you really want a life like that for your child?  Giving your baby up for adoption to a good home that can give him/her time love attention and good financial stability might be the best thing you could give your child. This way you can finish out school, get your degree get a good job and when ready have a child you can give everything you wanted to give him/her.  I had a lot of class mates have kids as teens when i was a teen, and their biggest regret was not being able to give their child the time and everything they deserved when they were young.

Answer 19

Oh, I remember you.

You're that chick who keeps asking about "how much will I get paid if I have a baby?".  

I'm hard pressed to believe you're even pregnant.

Answer 20

of course you can get through this! and you know what, the further along you go im sure your moms support will grow...my mom told me if I didnt give up my baby she would... anyway, We gave each other a little time and she and my dad walked me down the aisle and love our (as of 8 months ago) 2 children. I was 17 with my first, and now 4 years later had my second. Many young women have babies and are able to, it sounds like you and your boyfriend have a great head on your shoulders. Talk to your aunt a lot about her stuggles and how she did the teenage mom thing. Find support anywhere you can get it, always accept help and Im sure you and your new family will do just fine! Things will be hard of course, but there are a lot of joys when it comes to being a parent.

Answer 21

Why do you deserve my help? You fucked up and now you think you deserve special treatment because of it? Give the baby up for adoption, you and your little "boyfriend" won't even be together in six months anyway.

Answer 22

Having a babi at a young age is very hard I did it, now my mom supports my child cuz I cant support her on my own right now, and I work full time. I think what SWEET CHEEKS SAID IS VERY RUDE.

Answer 23

you have the right to keep ur baby if u want u can get emancipated and move out good luck