Sixteen & depressed?

Question

I got in a huge fight with my mom today. She said that I'm to consumed in my relationship. Growing up as a kid. I witness things that I honestly can't let go. My dad abused my step mom for years. She always told me don't ever end up with a guy like my father. I swore I wasn't going to. I didn't know that my past was going to affect my future nor my relationships. I did some research. I found that I may be depressed.

The yesterday I was angry with my boyfriend. Not because he did something wrong. But because I told him I was afraid to be with someone like my dad. Its wrong of me to compare him to my dad. Becasue my boyfriend I sware is nothing like my father. This is love. Im in love with him. & in sense it scares me. But i never felt more safe in my whole life when im with him.

I think by me being afraid of my past & I feel like i don't deserve to be happy... Im pushing the best thing thats ever happened to me. I don't want to loose him. I don't know whats going on with me? Im in love with him more then i can put in words! I keep finding myself being someone i don't want to be.

So please tell me. How can I stop being the girlfriend that is always scared to loose him or runaway when he makes me smile? We've been together for six months. I don't want to loose him...

Answer 1

The trick is to make sure you are the person you want to be with first, maybe you should talk to a counsellor about some of your concerns. Only you can change you if you dont like who youre becoming then change that person, you bf chose you he loves you you dont need to doubt that if he didnt he wouldnt be in your life, cherish that.

Answer 2

seems to me you need to get laid

Answer 3

you have issues right now, if he is willing to go through it with you keep him but you may not be ready to give enough to a relationship

Answer 4

I am 30, and I am still going through the pieces of my relationship with my father, to work out what was valid/invalid input from him about me.  The most important thing to remember is that you are not your father, you are not your mother, and you are not your step mother.  You are a wonderful, beautiful, smart, thoughtful person, who is trying desperately to figure out how to be.  We are human becomings, not just human beings and as long as you keep in your heart, your love for yourself and your boyfriend, you are doing fine.  Remember, there are a bi-zillion hormones rushing through your female body and they have an effect on your reactions just as much as your past relationships, so do not beat yourself up for your unconscious reactions to different situations.  You have to tell/show the people you care about how you feel and do not be afraid to be vulnerable, because that is how you face down your "demons" and grow into a better person.

You are GORGEOUS and LOVE, do not forget.  

Answer 5

well, you should probably see a therapist and im not trying to be rude or anything when i say this. i have had my share of c**p and seems you've had yours. you should probably talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and have him try to help you out ;)

Answer 6

Just do what makes you happy. If you sit there thinking about how you don't know what to do, that's not healthy.

Ask your boyfriend for some general reassurance. Just hearing him say "It's OK, I'm here, don't worry," will be therapeutic and make you feel better.

Family issues can make one feel screwed up inside but all you can do is look past them at the good things in life.

Answer 7

Listen. You are sixteen if you take care of your self you will have the rest of your life ahead of you.

Live it fully, don't over spend time in any relationship, and talk with your Mom. Tell her that you need to be treated as an adult, and that she needs to talk to you and discuss with you, not just blurt out no. She is not always right and neither are you.

Ok, take it slower and tell him so. Be open with him, but don't be blunt and brief. Be open, direct, and make sure to be articulate and explanatory.

Depression is held in anger, and hiding behind a mask. Don't let peer pressure get to you, be who you want to be.

Take a bath or shower at the perfect temperature, and enjoy it. While taking a shower it might be a good idea to sing, if you enjoy it then it doesn't matter how you sound.

Listen to calming music, or upbeat music, don't listen to angry and sullen music with hurtful lyrics. Make a playlist and relax.

Get more sleep, your mind needs time to rest and recoup. Make sure your sleeping well and comfortably, otherwise you can wake up in a bad mood, which in turn will ruin your day.

Don't let anyone really hurt you, if you thought they were your friend, then they might be, but they are human, be forgiving, be open, be truthful. And maintain healthy relationships.

Exercise. This may not bet he way you like to live your life but it is medically proven that physical exertion and not just one afternoon, every afternoon, or morning, will do. Gym class doesn't count.

Eat a better diet. This will help your mind function right. Make sure you eat stuff that you like, but cut down on the artificial stuff. Eat healthier and possibly organic meals.

Be healthy. And that means mentally. Never, ever think nothing can help, because then you are lying to yourself.

Consult a psychologist or a physciatrist, if it worsens, because it's never to early to start helping yourself. If your mom says no, then go to the councilor at school, it may be more critical than your mother has decided.  

Answer 8

relax that's just typical after having a bad experience in your past. you are over thinking this and need to relax. u need to forget about the past and look at what u have now and plans of your future. my friend had the same problem after having a dark past, she is now happily married with a wonderful husband. relax as i said before your only sixteen you are going to get through this u have your whole life ahead of u. just remember a set back is just a ticket to a come back. ya i know it's cheesy but it's true