Slight problem w/ parents wanting to stay at my daughter's b-day party....

Question

Help... It is very traditional for my daughter's father's family to all come to the birthday party. I don't want parents there this time (5th birthday) because they are loud, all they do is talk on their cell phones and eat up all the food, and leave. Most of them don't even bring a gift for my daughter, which is fine, I'll take care of her gifts. But how do I tell my them, I don't really want them there. They make me feel like I'm actin "white," when I try to get the kids to do something different, like paint or do party games. I don't understand why they want to be there, I never go to their kid's parties, I just drop my daughter off and pick her up when it's over.

Also, sometimes they bring other kids, sometimes bad kids, who are much older than my daughter. I think they just come to eat or just to have something to do.

Anyone had a similar situation? Am I wrong? ...or should I just bite my tounge and let them come?

Answer 1

This is a tricky situation, because if you offend relatives sometimes it creates a world of trouble.

One thought I had was to have it in a public place, like maybe a roller rink or an amusement park.  That way there would be plenty of room to spread out and maybe the adults would wander away.  You could also only send tickets to the kids invited, adults would have to pay their own way.  If anyone complains mention that it was a financial decision you had to make.  Technically they could still come, so they aren't "uninvited".  Hopefully, they will be reluctant to part with the cash and stay home.

Best wishes on a great party.

Answer 2

If I was you i'd have the family round for a birthday meal, without your daughters friends, then, as its strictly family, they wouldn't bring other random kids, and then seperately have a birthday party with all your daughters friends etc. and don't invite the adults, then they won't feel leftout out of your childrens birthday. And don't mean to be rude but when you say they make you feel like you are acting "white", what race are they?

Answer 3

Send the invitations as kids only and make a big deal out of it to them. You know that it's just the kids at this one. If they seem upset then tell them that you will have a family get together that weekend or what ever. I mean that is just if you don't want to be rude. I personally would just tell them that it's her party and they can come pick her up and take her out for dinner one night so that they can spend time with her.

Answer 4

I understand you want a kids party. They think you are throwing a family party. Maybe do both at separate times.  

Answer 5

No!  They are self-centered and rude.  Let me say that self-centered part again.  We reached the bridge you are at when our kid was five lol.  

We got this idea from a parenting magazine, and you may want to try this.

We decided to take her someplace for the whole day with a best friend. One year we went to Hershey Theme Park.  This year my daughter turned 9 [she's getting too old, too fast waa!].  We took her and one friend to Great Wolf Lodge for an overnight.  It went great.

One thing more:  This change in party strategy is also to stop the relentless flow of birthday presents from all that came.  She knew that this one big present was mostly it.  We still do the cake and all just US though.

The birthdays are so less headache filled!

About the acting white part is rude and worry-some.  It is a way of making someone feel that they should stay in place and on their level of comfort.  You should always challenge yourself to be better at what you are doing.

Answer 6

I would bite my tongue it isn't worth the fight you have to pick and chose your battles but if this is something that you feel in the long run is worth the fight then speak up I would be upset too  

Answer 7

Not everyone feels comfortable leaving their children at a party without them. I think if you really feel this way then why have a party? Why not take her somewhere special with maybe 1 or 2 special friends? Leave it at that and then you won't have to worry. Like you said you aren't concerned about the presents since you buy those. I have never had a party where the parents don't stay at this age. I can understand if they are older.  

Answer 8

I don't blame you one bit! I would politely tell them it is a "kids only" party and would like to keep it to a minimum. If they get upset let them know it is not personal, but its what you wanted for your daughter. They might give you ****, but its your house, your daughter. Put your foot down or you won't be able to enjoy your daughter's b-day. I had the same situation for my son's b-day, traditionally my husbands family throws huge parties with  all the adults and older kids but I let them know a month in advance it was going to be simple and small and that I preferred only immediate family members (after all, I was paying for everything!) I know they griped behind my back about it, but I ignored it. Do what you want and good luck!

Answer 9

no, def dont bite your tongue! You need to tell them that this party is going to be a kids only party and that not to have their kids bring any kids that you don't approve! This is YOUR kids party, so YOU plan who comes and who is not aloud! Hope everything goes okay!

Answer 10

They sound pretty rude to me and you shouldn't have to put up with that.  I would tell them it's a kid party only (that what it sounds like to me). Your doing a kid party only this time, end of story.  

Answer 11

How about sending out creatively worded invitations?  Eg: "Suzy's 5th Birthday Party will be Saturday, August 23rd @ 2pm at our house", then add "children only please, parents may pick them up at 5pm".  Have the kids names on the invitations...not "The Smiths".  If they have the nerve to bring uninvited kids, politely tell them to take they with them and you look forward to seeing them at 5pm.  Be firm, but polite.   If they accuse you of "being white" -- their problem!!   It is your daughter's party, not theirs.  Good luck and hope the B'day is Grrrreat!

Answer 12

The only way is not to invite them or their kids.  If they say when is her party say something like we are going small this year and  only inviting  a few people.  Personally i do believe in staying with my kids especially as young as 5.  I would never just leave them  so if i was not invited i would not bring my child  

Answer 13

don't tell them about it? or say its a kids only party like 5 and under