Small ceremony, cant fit anyone else!!?

Question

My ceremony site is a very small greenhouse garden. It can only fit 100 people, so I invited 50 and my fiance invited 50. We invited only family and a few VERY close friends to the ceremony and will be having a bigger reception afterwards, so we can invite extended family, close co-workers and friends. My problem is, I had previously mentioned to my co-workers that its a small ceremony but we will be having a big reception afterwards. They have taken it upon themselves to all try to ask off so they can go to the ceremony. Im flattered and I'd love to have them there but there just isnt enough room! Every seat is taken and over 100 causes crowding issues when it comes to fire safety. I have sent them all invites to the reception, how can I gently explain that there are no open seats for them at the ceremony? We chose this small ceremony site because its in an historic district thats very sentimental to my fiance and I.

Answer 1

That sounds very beautiful! I would just explain that the ceremony is limited to family because of the space but you are looking forward to seeing them at the reception. They will completely understand.

~MLF~

Answer 2

So...everyone you invited has RSVP'ed that they are coming? You could tell your coworkers that you will let some of them in the back on a space available basis as the RSVPs come in.

It would be a miracle if every one of your 100 invitees said they were coming.

Answer 3

Just simply tell them that the ceremony is small and only for family.. don't even let them know friends are coming it really is none of their business.. and tell them you would love to  have invited everyone but with space at the location you had to narrow it down to family only and hope to see them at the reception.. and let them know you promise to bring pics back after the wedding.  I am sure they will all understand

Answer 4

Explain it the way you just did here. It's not that you don't want them there, it's just that it's not a big enough place to accommodate everyone you wanted to invite. Have someone video tape the ceremony so you can show them later and make sure they know that you really wish they could be there and you really want them to come to the reception afterwards.

Answer 5

For small weddings the rule is don't discuss in a lot of detail around people you can't invite. This includes inviting people to your reception who you aren't inviting to the wedding. Since you have been talking with your co-workers then it's too late to do this. Just explain that you don't have room for them at the wedding, but they're still welcome to come to the reception. However, there is no way to change the fact that very few people will be willing to come to a wedding reception when they aren't invited to the wedding.

And if you are interested in inviting some of them to your wedding, have separate "wedding" and "reception" options in your RSVP, so that if someone can't make it to one you know and can invite someone else accordingly.

Answer 6

How rude of them to ask in the first place. These are all adults, so they should be aware by now that there are limitations to everything. For those forward enough to disregard your previous statements on the matter and your kind invitation to the reception, then one more explanation that the ceremony is quite small is all you need to do. If they keep badgering you, the best you can do is treat it as a joke when they ask.  

Answer 7

My fiance and I are having the same problem now, except our site only holds 50 people total. Just gently explain to them that the ceremony is limited and you can only invite your family even though you would love for them to be there. Make sure to add in something like, "The reception is always the best part anyway." or something to that effect.

Good luck. I know it's hard to explain these things to people sometimes. Just do your best to keep a smile and break it to them gently. Congrats and good luck!!