So, Im feeling sort of rushed to have kids, and Im about 21 years old? HELP!?

Question

Okay, so I go through baby fever spurts all the time, but when I snap back into reality I realize that I still have some things that I would like to accomplish before I have a baby. I have been married for 2 years, and my husband who is 23 now says that he is ready too, but he dosnt mind waiting either. See, I still have 2 years left of college, and we still sort of live paycheck to paycheck. We do own a home and everything, however he is military now, and he is getting out in a little over a year. Which will be good! Anyway, all of my military wife friends have babies already, and talk about how great it is, but they are still stressed about money sometimes. And, one of them seems to have a lot of money all the time, and seems to love her life, but she dosnt have any goals, they live in a creepy apartment. I just feel like they will be stuck in this situation forever, and I dont want that for myself. I dont know...I dont want to be and older mom though either. I am planning on getting pregnant in about two years from now..that way we can move, I can graduate, and we can get situated again. Plus, my husband and I want to have a nice wedding because we never had one..I got married at 18 and it was a short notice thing that we did at a court house with no family there.

What do you think? Am I making a bad decision? Also, I will be 23 and hubby will be 26 when we have our first...if all goes as planned!

Answer 1

Finish School first and let your husband finish his time in the military. You will find it's much easier to have children when you and your husband can be together full time. You're both very young, so time is on your side. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Honey, if you think you're not ready, you're not ready!!  He said he'd wait - What's the problem????

Wait and see what happens!!

Answer 3

Ok I had kids youngish - I was 18 and 20 and we're TTC #3 at the moment. I would highly recommend having kids at a younger age.

If you worry about money and being financially stable you'll never be ready to have kids. All in all, it just works - you find the money and the support and the time to do it all.

So yeah 23 sounds like the perfect age to start (I'll be 23 or 24 and having my last LOL!!)

I wouldn't worry about the wedding thing to much either - so overrated.  

Answer 4

I don't' think you two sound ready right now. I think it's best to wait. You'll still be young in 2 years. Best wishes!!!

Answer 5

Personally I think you should wait until he is out of the military and you are finished w/ college.  You will still be young and in two years you can have something to look forward to instead of being stressed because if you have a baby now you will be alone in raising in the beginning and that is no fun

When he gets out of the military start planning that fancy wedding and then get married, graduate, take that honeymoon, find a great job and then have a baby ;~) enjoy life w/ patience and looking forward not rushing

You can have babies up to the age of 40 but you can't get your 20's back so you should relax 30's are the best age for enjoying babies

Answer 6

You are making the best decision of your life.  For you, your husband & your future child.  You have plenty of time ahead for you.  Make them the best, because if your living paycheck to paycheck why should a baby be brought into that.  Wait until you are both comfortable & know that you can give your child what he needs.  YOUR ON THE RIGHT TRACK.  Forget about the other military wives.  They are probably really envious of you 2.

Answer 7

You guys need to enjoy some life without kids.  DOn't rush into it because your life CHANGES FOREVER once you have kids.  CHILL.

Answer 8

I would forget the fancy "wedding"  don't waste the money.  I think 23 and 26 would be ideal ages for starting to expand your family (you out of school)  I bet those women with babies envy you more than you envy them.

Answer 9

My husband and I are 31 and 30 respectivly, and we still do not have children.

If you are not ready then do not have children.

Think of all the things you are doing right now. Finishing school, finishing with the military and planning your dream wedding. If these things are really important to you then do them. Don't have a child just because everyone else has one now. It isn't bad to want a child in the future and to plan for it.

Don't get me wrong you can have a child and still finish school but it will not be easy. You don't want to look back and wish that you had just waited a couple of years.