So, is there really any reason for him to be mad?

Question

My husband decided he isn't happy, so he's decided to leave me. He'll be moving out at the end of the month, so for a couple more weeks, we still have to co-habitate.

I'm not happy he's leaving, but he's made up his mind, so he's going anyway.

Last night, I took the kids out to dinner, and didn't invite him to come with us, and when we got back, he was mad that I didn't invite him along and buy him dinner.

I kinda think, if he doesn't want to be a part of my life, I shouldn't have to feed him still, he's a big boy, and can take care of himself (presumably).

I should add that he doesn't like to spend time with my daughter, because they don't get along. And he's been very uninterested in spending any time with our son too.

That, and I was the sole financial support for half our marriage (married 16 years) while he went to school.

Any thoughts??

Answer 1

you're doing the right thing! 16 years is enough for you. you deserve to be thanked for and be loved in return. yes, it is important for kids to have their father around but it also depends on what kind of father he is to them. he isn't worth keeping for. go on with your life. someone deserves you better. you desrve to be happy.  

Answer 2

I'm not convinced that he really wants to leave. I think his ego is getting in the way for him to say something. Don't kick him out nor encourage him to leave. See if he wants to go to marriage counseling to pick up some tools for keeping it all together. Maybe something good can come out of it. After all,  it did for 16 years. Good luck.

Answer 3

My main thought is

Why did you stay in this "marriage" for 16 long years?

Answer 4

Pack his bags and have him leave today. It's stupid that he's still there.

Answer 5

Ask him where he will get dinner when he leaves you and he is on his own, or are you supposed to send care packages? Kick him out of the house. Who wants to go out to dinner with someone who is leaving them?? I know I wouldn't. No he shouldn't have been mad. He just sounds like a big jerk.  

Answer 6

Ok B4 you both go and do something that really only hurts your son....please talk to him, why ????

It is so very hard on kids when their parent's break up.

If you do end up splitting sit down with him and a counselor and AGREE that you will not use the kids as pawns, too often  parents use the kids.

Promise yourself and your kids that you will NEVER say anything bad about the other parent, this is a cardinal rule, even if the other parent won't abide by it make sure you do because eventually kids see through this and will give respect where the effort was placed.

Answer 7

I think you should get him out where he belongs and take your kids on a mini vacation and find yourself a new lease on life! He doesent sound very mature when it comes to dealing with your kids and that's reason enough for you to find yourself a real man.  

Answer 8

Oh my.. who the h**l does he think he is???  He told you he wanted to leave and he does'nt get along with your daughter.. no, honey you are not wrong.. it would serve him right for you to kick his butt to the curb right now.. don't let him stay there for two more weeks.  He should no longer lives there.. for you to just be a bed and breakfast for him.  I wouldn't pay NOTHING for him anymore..  

Answer 9

You're right, he is a "big boy" and shouldn't get upset.  

Also, sounds like you have been a good wife for supporting your husband while he was in school.  Did you resent him for it? Do you still love him and does he still love you?  Can it be something that can be resolved if you both put your pride aside and spill your guts out and talk about how unhappy you both have been feeling? Marriage takes lots of work and silence doesn't fix anything.  Remember it takes two to make a relationship happy and also two to break it, so as hard as it can be try to put your anger and resentment for him aside and be civil.

Whatever happens just make sure that you let your kids know how loved they are and let them know that it's not their fault.  I personally didn't know how bad my parents divorce affected me until I was older.  It really affects kids so just make sure that you find the time for them.

Best of luck and happiness in the future.

Answer 10

he's a bum let him go

Answer 11

He is mad as you gave him a taste of his own medicine. It is kinda funny if you are not the person he is mad at.

He is very childish. You go girl You have more guts and spine than he will ever have

Answer 12

no way does he have a reason to be mad!!! he decided to leave you, your just getting on with life!! huge props to you for being so strong!!! you go girl!! let him suffer :D

Answer 13

He's being emotional at this state of ur relationship .. yeah .. men get emotional too u know

Answer 14

no

Answer 15

Everybody gets mad, and most get over it. Sounds like your going in the right direction, even though he seems to be the one leaving. (Hint) I wonder if he's really unhappy, or tired of a fling he has to hide from you. If that's the case in about a month, there will be a "Ding-Dong" at your front door, after he pushes the doorbell, that is.

Answer 16

I don't see that he should be mad.  He doesn't really want to be with any of you so why would he want to go out to dinner with you.  Having him along would just be stressful and make the whole dinner tense.