So Can She Adopt from India or Not?

Question

Yesterday, I posted a question about a friend who is 29 & single, but wants kids before she is too old. Though she's thinking of artificial insemination, because she is on meds for mild to moderate mental illness (ADHD, depression & BPD) she's been told adoption is safer & wants to adopt from India (cuz that's where all her family is from)

But even though her illness has been under control & even her doctors, psychiatrists & therapists have certified she's been stable & symptom-free for almost a decade & that she is fully capable & ready (financially, emotionally, physically, etc.) to parent, when I posted a question on here yesterday

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApuBjn4Xzhi0woMrZdpaGLTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071220161233AAtuGaW

I was SHOCKED & DISGUSTED by all the callous and insensitive answers!

So I'm reposting the question at a time that I hope is late enough for all the immature people to be safely tucked into bed.

Can my friend adopt a child/children from India?

Answer 1

I didn't see what you posted yesterday, but why not have your friend check with agencies that deal with India adoption instead of you just asking random people on Yahoo Answers?

It seems as though she'd get much more accurate information that way.  *shrug*

Answer 2

No. she should help her own bloody country first shes not a god dam celeb.

Answer 3

Seeing as your friend is under the care of doctors, and they are willing to certify that she is on medication, and has been stable and symptom-free for a significant period of time (almost 10 years would definitely qualify, in my opinion), and is fully capable and ready (financially, emotionally, physically) ready to parent as a single woman, I don't see any reason why your friend won't be able to adopt, but it varies from agency to agency.

From what I've been seeing online, there is a lot of conflicting information (for example, some websites, or agencies say no adoptive parents can be less than 30 or older than 55, while others say that they can be as young as 28, but cannot be older than 40). So I guess it all depends where you look.

According to the US State Department website, http://travel.state.gov

ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS: Couples with a composite age of 90 or less, or single persons up to age 45 can adopt; parents should be at least 21 years older than the child; in no case can a prospective adoptive parent be less than 30 or more than 55.

Additionally, from your question, it sounds like your friend may qualify to be classified as NRI (Non-Resident Indian) or PIO (Person of Indian Origin) since her family (I'm assuming that you're referring to parents) are of Indian descent.

According to the Embassy of India website http://www.indianembassy.org/consular/Ad...

When a recognized Indian agency receives a child its first responsibility is to trace the biological parents and restore the child to them failing which as far as possible to place the child in adoption with Indian families. It would be desirable that an Indian recognized placement agency should place annually more than 50 per cent of the total number of children given in adoption with Indian families. However, the handicapped children, children above 6 years of age and siblings will be excluded from this calculation. The placement agencies are required to adhere the following order of priority while considering the adoption of Indian children:

1. Indian families in India.

2. Indian families abroad.

3. One parent of Indian origin abroad.

4. Totally foreign.

Adoption of Indian children placed with Indian living abroad will be treated as in-country placement. However, such Indian would have to follow the same procedure of sending their applications, documents etc. through an enlisted foreign agency in that country as in the case of inter-country adoption.

Also I am assuming that your friend is Hindu, which would allow her to adopt under the Hindu Adoption Act which allows Hindus (including single women) and Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains to adopt directly within India as opposed to Christians, Jews, Muslims, and Parsis who have to just apply for guardianship in India and then finalize the adoption once in the US.

According to the iChild website

http://www.ichild.org/nriadopt.htm

The numbers of Indian families within India, and NRI couples abroad who are adopting from India have grown dramatically these past few years. Indian Organizations and CARA are encouraging local Indian Parents to consider adoption. And for NRI couples, many U.S. agencies are now developing India adoption programs specifically for NRI couples.

India makes an effort to place all abandoned or relinquished children with an Indian family in India first. If that is not possible, then they prefer that an Indian family abroad be found. Finally, if no Indian family can be found, then the child can be placed with a non-NRI family.

Typically NRI couples adopting from India will find the process goes much more quickly and smoothly than for a non-NRI couple. And there may be more options for the NRI couple as well.

An NRI couple may adopt a young healthy infant, whereas a non-NRI couple may find it difficult to locate an agency with such a program.

So seeing as your friend is NRI/PIO, even being single, and with mental illness in her background, because she is Indian, she'll probably have an easier time adopting than if she was a single white, Christian American female with mental illness.

Nevertheless, if possible, during the home-study, she should just give the basic information about her past mental issues, and nothing more. She should not go into too much detail. Just stick to the basics like she:

1. takes medication for mental disorders faithfully and consistently

2. is stable,

3. how long she has been stable

4. sees her psychiatrist regularly for medication checks and management

5. is in therapy, and seeing her therapist regularly

6. is, in her doctor's professional opinion, fully ready and able to parent a child (or children)

I can't recall where I read it, but when I was looking up this info for you, I remember on some site it said "LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS" or "NO SUPPLEMENTS OR ADDITIVES!" In other words: "STICK TO THE BASICS"

So all in all, I think chances are good for your friend to adopt a child or children from India to love. She just has to talk to different agencies, and find one who is understanding, compassionate and willing to work with her, despite her limitations.

There are so many needy children in the world, and I don't know why some of these self-righteous people think that people like your friend deserve to be all alone, with no family to love, and care about just because they've had mental illness in their background, which have been successfully dealt with.

I don't understand how people like Jenn B (from your other post) and others like her can claim that "children deserve better than what your friend has to offer".

Really?

Needy children stuck in orphanages with dozens or hundreds of kids - especially in 3rd World countries like India are better off with no parents or family, rather than (according to your other posts) being in the US with good schools, good food. good medical care and MOST IMPORTANTLY a loving caring mother who owns her own spacious home in a safe area?

An Indian mother who, through no fault of her own, happens to have mental illness in her background and yet managed to overcome it, and who owns enough income real estate properties and several home-based businesses that allow her to work from home so she can be there for her kids (as opposed to sticking them in an impersonal daycare) is worse than living in an Indian orphanage with staff and matrons, and being just one of dozens or hundreds of other kids??

No offense but that is BS, and all the intolerant people out there need to realize that mental illness is NOT a crime but a MEDICAL problem.

I mean she is not psychotic or delusional. She does not have schizophrenia or ANY schizophrenia-related illnesses (schizo-affective disorder, paranoid delusional disorder, etc.),

Your friend has TREATED MEDICAL PROBLEMS. If blind people can adopt, if deaf people can adopt, if amputees, and paralyzed people can adopt, if people with CP (cerebral palsy), diabetes, and cancer can adopt, then there is NO reason why people with mental illness should be denied as adoptive parents.

Despite the issues she has had to struggle with, your friend sounds like a wonderful person, and I hope she does get to adopt a child. Regardless of what any and all the judgemental jerks out there say, I think your friend will make a wonderful mom. I can't think of anyone who deserves a child or children to love, more than her, and I wish her the BEST OF LUCK!

Answer 4

I am so sorry that you received so many nasty responses.  I think people here tend to be biased but that being said, I do think that deep down their hearts are in the right places and do not want to see a child placed in an unstable home.

That being said, if your friend is under a doctor's care and has been symptom free for over a decade, KUDOS TO HER!  That says a lot about her and her ability to know what is best for her and possibly a child.  

I wish I had a definitive answer as to whether or not she can adopt.  The truth is that each state has different requirements, and each agency may have their own regulations that exceed that of the state.  Also each country could have their own guidelines that they follow so your friend certainly needs to speak to an agency to discuss what her options are.  She will need to have a medical exam and mental illness is one of the questions that they ask - but if her doctor feels that she is stable, then her doctor will put that on the medical form also.

It amazes me how many people respond to questions like this with negativity about adoptive parents.  The reality is that you do not need a medical exam or home study to become pregnant and parent a child.  There are tons of bio parents out there who have the same medical conditions as your friend and they are allowed to parent.  What makes an adoptive parent any different?  

I wish your friend luck.  I've been thru infertility and understand her desire to want a family that seems to overwhelm your life.  She should seek out some type of counseling for herself to help her get through this - not because of her medical disorder - but because adoption in general is a very stressful and often long process.  Having someone to talk to does not show weakness but rather a strength on her part.

Answer 5

http://www.ichild.org/

http://india.adoption.com/foreign/india-...



I hope this helps.

Parent Requirements: Married couples, single women, and single men may adopt from India (single men can only adopt sons). Parents must be between 28 and 40 years old. Couples must be married at least 2 years. Couples must have no more than two children at home; single parents must have no more than one child at home.

Travel Requirements: Travel is optional, and escorts are available for adopted children. (However, travel to the country of your child’s birth is strongly recommended.) If the child is over three years old, the parents are required to travel to India.

Time Frame: From the time of initial application until you bring your child home averages 13 months.

Number of Children Adopted by Americans in 2004: 406

Additional Information: The children available for adoption from India live in orphanages. Post placement reports and supervision are required for five years.