So How is this Poem?

Question

The light of the stars in the sky that I looked up to

Old memories and wishes are sent, crossing through time unfading

The cries of someone are reflected in your eyes with a sparkle, the feelings in the wind

The wishes in the moon, they all live within powerful limitations, today

Our feelings too, will one day continue to shine

With someone's heart, like those stars

One, two bell chimes resound vast and deep, to within the heart

Drops of stars like a story; fine tracks are amassed within them

The era moves along with time, and the flowing stars quietly move too

If you close your eyes, and listen closely, good bye

A bunch of black and white photographs of the sky, a blowing muffler, white breath

I want to get closer, even if it's just a little; running double time until we're on higher ground

If we take out a massive telescope

The lens will disturb the star dust

Time takes away time, and romance passes through the eras

Releasing the light, now we'll firmly pass through time without giving up

Until it reaches someone, the light of glory will go on and make a story

Beyond all of this, along with us

The light of the stars in the sky that I looked up to

Old memories and wishes are sent, crossing through time unfading

The cries of someone are reflected in your eyes with a sparkle, the feelings in the wind

The wishes in the moon, they all live within powerful limitations, today

Our feelings too, will one day continue to shine

With someone's heart, like those stars

Answer 1

"Hi!"

I am not sure wither this is quite called a poem. but it captured my heart all the same.

thankyou so much.

cheers.  : ).

Answer 2

It's quite long.

I read the first bit and will try to read some more next week.

Answer 3

This is a beutiful thought of the universe and how we relate to it. But why did you return to the first verse aside from changing the first line? Besides the first and last verses, your mention of 'time' is bountiful (4 within 13 lines) and I think it is too overplayed. Another than that, this is the first real read since I have been a member last year that takes me to the stars! Your usage of adjectives, adverbs and prepositions are all intact and they convey the message brilliantly. Most people ask others to critique their work always looking for positive praise from non-professional writers who sometimes misspell and won't judge work from it's foundations! Watch being hooked on one idea and let your imagination soar... Grade: A-

Feel free to go to my profile and read my comments to other poets. I am fair and I also do rewrites to show how writers can broaden their landscapes. Thank you for sharing...