So... I'm confused - need advice from men preferably... messed up situation...?

Question

So, I was with this guy for 2 1/2 years. We got together when my daughter was 6 months old. Its like he was a missing puzzle piece (he fit perfect). He ended up being a great man with me, a great father with her and a great provider for both of us.

We split 2 weeks ago (his decision)... we had been bickering non stop for like 2 months! I was getting pretty sick of him too... but I just figured it was the constant seeing him EVERYDAY... and not going off and hanging out with people separately. This guy and I were perfect together - we knew each other so well and got along great before those two months.

Anyway, he talked about marriage a month before he left me. Had s*x with me the night before. Then we had an argument the next night and he was gone.

Now he is living with his mother, I have a little girl asking and crying for him all the time. And for the past two weeks he hasn't really called or came by. Until yesterday - he came in and emotions came and we had s*x twice and after that he said "well what are we going to do?" I told him to just stay at his moms maybe we can figure things out with a little space. So today he tells me he isn't sure he wants a relationship with me because he is worried things wont change but he loves me and THEN tells me he still wants to have s*x with me!!

I freaked out a little bit then he explained that he just doesnt know yet. "I might want to be back with you in a week or so" So I'm assuming that he just needs to figure things out..

But if he decides he doesn't want me anymore I'm going to be so emotionally messed up that I prob wont be able to trust another guy for MANY years to come.

Do I wait it out?

Do I tell him to F off?

I miss him, and I KNOW he is making a mistake.

What do I do?

Answer 1

When a woman has a baby and gets a man after the fact and then the baby attaches herself to her now imprinted father figure.  YOU BEG forgiveness and do all you can to be exactly what this guy wants.  Its not for you its for your baby.

Look for a new man on the side, but men who can handle a baby in the mix are few and far between.  And I mean MEN not sissy baby boys who just want their mommy because that's about all the men your gonna get who will even go out on a date.



Signed

Rude slap of reality guy..

Answer 2

Sound like a lot more talking might be the answer. Try and find out what he wants, and specifically what he wants changed.

If you want commitment then, after 2 and a half years, it wouldn't be too soon to demand it, if he wants to keep having s*x that is.

You have been going out with him for far too long just to blow him off without talking a lot more, but perhaps you should do it somewhere other than a bedroom, for your sake, for your daughter's sake.  

Answer 3

I'm sorry to have to say this, but from what you said, I honestly think that he's done with you, but when the hormones kick in he knows that he has you on enough of a string that he can have s*x with you, not because he wants you but because he wants the s*x and you can give it to him.  That's not to say he didn't care about you before, and that he has no more feelings for you, but he only seems to come around when he can get s*x quickly.  His feelings have probably changed but until he gets a new girlfriend or you tell him to "F off" he'll keep telling you what he needs to to string you along.  Hopefully I'm wrong.

Answer 4

Big Brother nailed it perfectly.. trust me that's what it is.

Answer 5

Have patience grasshopper.

Answer 6

You wanted a guy to answer, so I am sorry. I have a suggestion for you. I think that the two of you COULD have something going on if you focus on other activities other than s*x.

The two of you need to spend some time really getting to know each other. Do anything other than have s*x. Cuddle on the couch and watch movies or play video games together. Go on a picnic in the park. Take your daughter to a park or swimming. Take a trip together. Basically get a real friendship going on before you lose what might be a good chance to be happy.

Answer 7

Patience is of virtue.

I know that it may sound all girly to do this, but why not invite him over and sit down for an "Adult " conversation and let him know how you feel. It is so true that you don't know what you have until it's gone and if you feel he is so worth making things work, then let him know. Change can't happen on one end, it has to happen on both ends. I understand that make-up s*x is great, but it sounds like when s*x is not a part of the equation, he doubts again where he stands. So how do you fix this? Well, as hard as it may be, you need to not let s*x drive your meetings with one another. If he stops coming around, then you know he only came back for s*x and not because he was genuinely interrested in making things work. Just as it takes two to have hot fiery s*x, it also takes two to make things work.  

Answer 8

i believe he is making a grave mistake. if he says he loves you then he will come back to you and try to work things out with you.  im not sure what happened in those two months to cause the bickering but next time thats about to happen try and sit down and talk it over reasonably. if it helps each say each others view one at a time. like each gets two minutes or somethin. just a thought. try to tell him to listen to his heart. tell him of all the good times yall have had and the life yall could have.  just tell how you feel. hope this helps