So I'm scared to try new things and live basically. What should I do about that?

Question

Sorry it's a bit long. I'm 17 and everyday has been a challenge for me. I stuggle with thoughts of killing myself and anger everyday and it's really affecting me badly. I simply can't relax because I chose to worry about things. My family has made this worse for me. I'm sure some of you have read some of my other questions and get sick of hearing this, but my dad has had problems with alcohol and had been abusive towards my mom. There was never anything I could do about it and there still isn't anything I can do. They have to solve their own problems and I can't do it for them. I've pretty much felt weak and helpless my entire life and at this point I'm sick of it. I have social and have trust issues with people because of a lot of experiences I had. I'm sick of acting like I'm still 10 and can't do anything. I want some control over my life. I've met a lot of adults in my life and I feel that none of them really act like they are adults. In my life, I've always been quiet and withdrawn so I observed the things that people said and did. Based on my observations, I know the appropriate way to behave and handle problems, even though I do have my moments. But the point is that I'm trying to use this knowledge. So as I said in the question, I'm scared to try new things. Even if it's trying to listen to a new song, I feel afraid. I seriously want to travel the world and move out of my parents house. I'm getting counselling and she's giving me advice about that. I simply don't want to be a stupid kid anymore. I want to be an adult. I've always felt like an old man trapped in a kids body, which is actually a lot more stressful than people think it is. With all this said, what I really want is to live. At home, I feel so supressed. I don't feel as if my personality can be expressed. I want to get out there and be somebody. I want to live in my own unique way. I don't want to be afraid of people anymore. I want to free myself.

Answer 1

Stop thinking about what you feel and who you are and ACT.

Answer 2

get a life o a counsler

Answer 3

I think that people think about killing themselves more than they are willing to admit.  But just think of all the hurt and opportunities that you will miss out on if you leave us.  We won't be able to answer your questions any more.  You have reason to feel the way that you do.  But realize that your mom is going to have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired before she walks away.  She will need you if she ever does.   It is also good that you want to go to school.  Finding a job is good but I too don't recommend that you move out.  You working will keep you out of the house more so that can be an escape. Its tough out there and will be hard for you to find someone that will rent to your being that you are so young.  Good luck and I hope things turn around for you and your mom and dad too.  

Answer 4

Go skydiving.  Start confronting your (reasonable) fears or they will control you.  Ride roller coasters.  Walk up to new people and introduce yourself.

Answer 5

Don't be afraid of people, just because people have made you afraid. If you do not like your situation than only you can change it. Listen to RISE ABOVE IT by Seether and heed the words. Only you can change the way that your life is. Don't do anything drastic, just make a change. Get a job and move out of Dads house. It is pretty simple. Don't think everyone is out to get you because they are not. Hope this helps and be smart about your decision. Good Luck, not that you need it, Good Luck anyway. Even if you are only 17 makes no difference. They will see you for what you are.