So I'm wrong for not wanting to have "Female Friends"?

Question

A girl I know had given me her number the night I met her. There were actually a few of us outside relaxing and knocking back beers. We texted a few times. Really slow. Nothing special because we just met, right?

That had been a month ago. Now every time I see her she smiles and waves and ****. I finally ask why she hasn't called and she says it's because she "doesn't have a reason to.". Ultimately, I started to be real short with her. I ignore her, give one word answers, decide to be real nonchalant in her regards.No reason to call me; no reason to acknowledge her presence, right? That is perfectly fair.

So she sees me last night. There's a lot of us out chillin and whatnot. As I'm walking to my room, she's approaching in the opposite direction and she asks me why I don't talk to her.

I give her the same reason she gave me. She asked if we were friends. I said no, and suddenly she's dissapointed and I'm the bad guy?

Another girl who wasn't talking about anything in my regard would love to try to regale me about stories about her "boyfriend" and the trouble they would have. So when I stopped caring, she puts me through a battery of questions about it, and is shocked and offended when I say that my shoulders are not for crying on.

Men and woman only talk to people they are attracted to since the face and physical features are recognized first. That's a fact, and as such, is the basis for interaction between the two sexes. If it weren't for physical attraction, man would have nothing to gain from interaction with woman.

Why is it that I should be forced to play second fiddle to some apparent loser just so some female can have an emotional tampon? How is that fair to me?

So having said that, how can women truly and honestly expect a man to let himself be relegated to backup status and expect him to stay there? Why do women believe that men (who in all probability are probably attracted to them) will let them talk their ear off about some loser? Why do women insult us like that?

Answer 1

This girl really had it coming, sorry.

She never calls you then gets mad that you dont call?

You can be friends with whoever you like mate.

But to be fair, you shouldn't put every woman in this category. Thats just unfair.

Like, really unfair.

Answer 2

You're absolutely right.

Don't let this woman lay her sh*t on you.

Answer 3

You are a funny guy. LoL.  Women talk to men all the time that they have no physical attraction for.  It's weird to me that you don't have women friends that you are just friends with.  

Answer 4

It is possible to have female friends. It requires one simple but often hard tricks. Put them in your own friends only category and treat them the same you would other friends.

        If a so called friend only calls you when she is single or what not then she is not a friend but a "user".

     But the old dating rule goes if you find your self in the "friends only category" and you want something more your better off forgetting about her.

Answer 5

Wow man you got a lot to learn about women.( me too) When she said she had no reason to call you she meant that you should give her a reason to call. ask her out etc. Now you've got your wires crossed it might be too late, but why not try again? A heart to heart might be the way to go, clear the air and be honest. What have you got to lose?  

Answer 6

Cause you wouldn't be an emotional tampon, you would be a friend. It's the same as having a guy as a friend. Just, not with a p***s.

Answer 7

I just tell them I am not here for your Drama, if you want to be a friend fine, how old are these woman? I never hear grown woman consistently talking about other men. To me that would p**s me off, I agree!!

Answer 8

Most women are talkative which urks me as well..I hate it when they talk about their boyfriends cheating on them or ignoring them..and then they start ranting like chipmunks....then all because they feel like they are the victim, it is like you are obligated to sit there and listen...I hate that..i try to stay away from those people.....My real friends know me so they no d**n well not to talk my ear off with some nonsense c**p....

Anyways, I understand where you are coming from dude.....women are so d**n talkative

Answer 9

You live in a world very different to mine!  I talk to lots of men that I'm not remotely attracted to.  I talk to them because they have interesting things to say and they're decent human beings.  I hope they talk to me for similar reasons.  I find it impossible to believe that every man who talks to me is attracted to me.  I'm just not that pretty!

I do talk to men about relationship issues, but only men I know very well.  It would feel inappropriate to talk about such personal stuff to a relative stranger.

I wonder if you're assuming that these women know you're attracted to them and are trying to manipulate your feelings by talking about other men in their lives.  I can imagine that would be distressing to you.  

But it's entirely possible that they have no idea you're attracted to them.  Speaking for myself, I never know a man's attracted to me unless he tells me so directly (and it's always a surprise).

I think it can be nice to have friends of the opposite s*x, but maybe it helps to pick women you're not interested in dating!

Answer 10

Because women are PROFOUNDLY self-centered.  Of course you're NOT wrong.  Don't change a DAM thing about what you're doing.

Answer 11

Girls like this are annoying. However, you probably haven't met any girls JUST for friendships. There are plenty of girls who aren't into dating and would make great, un-needy friends. You said that there is not point of male/female interaction besides attraction, which isn't true. You've talked to your mom, right? I talk to my dad and male cousins and it certainly doesn't mean I'm coming onto them, THAT WOULD BE BEYOND DISGUSTING.

Anyways, like your male friends, you have to be picky with the female friends as well. You just haven't met anyone good yet. Or else you're openly horny and are driving away platonic-friendship girls.

Answer 12

You got some fair points - but also you could do with improving your views and responses somewhat.

'no female friends' on this basis -ok maybe some, or even maybe quite a lot of them are like this Doesnt mean all of them are. Be open to the possiblilty that not all are.

Not friends - try 'dunno, is there any reason to think we are, we never talk to each other, and you got no reason to bother'.

emotional tampon - try something along the lines of "Im sick of you always having something bad to say about the guy, I dont want to have this rubbish dumped on me - you want to have girly chat like this - go get it, if you want advice - dump him, you hate him"

Might be more effective. Maybe. Then again - these are some of the privilages that many women have come to know and expect and often not even realise they use guys - when the odd - and I do mean odd as in not often - guy points out that they don't want to be giving in these ways with them - they don't respond well. Its against all expectation. And -seemingly- denigrates thier sense of self worth.

Chill dude - don't let em annoy you so much. Carry on with life. Accept that where there are things you don't agree with you will meet responses just as short as yours in return.

Answer 13

In all honestly women should not do that but of course you could try to be less of a jerk to them. Women friends, who are true friends can be a godsend. They can hook you up with other chicks and give you some advice into the female mind. Grow up dude...

Answer 14

You should leave her. Your explanation said it all.

Answer 15

I don't even look at guys anymore bcuz if you make eye contact with them, they'll think that you wanna f.u.c.k.

Anyhow, You're just another reason why I hate men and that I want nothing to do with them anyways. You are all such selfish unsatiable con artists that only want to be with a female if she wants to f.u.c.k.

Then you are done

You are as worthless as your wasted seed

Answer 16

I think you are real shallow, how on earth have you got any friends of any gender. She had no reason to call you because you have no substance. Get over yourself

Answer 17

hmmmm. some women are just totally different from your world. sometimes understanding what and why they said something or done something; figuring it out can't be understood. keep it cool with her. either stop talking to her or continue.  

Answer 18

I disagree. How on earth are you going to be able to sustain a marriage/long term relationship if you are not friends with your partner/spouse. Friendship is the foundation for as successful marriages or long term relationship.

Answer 19

you WONT hook up with as many girls as you can unless you have female friends. you gotta be seen around women for them to see YOU as an object of desire. be cool, nonchalance is not negative.

Answer 20

you feel strongly about this shrink your ego or youll die sexless

Answer 21

All you're gonna get from me are compliments.

"Are we friends? NO."

That's classic. Honestly, I think most guys (myself included) would've had alterior motives in mind and told her whatever she wanted to hear, then regretted it later for not telling her off.

You kick butt for telling her like it is! Thank you! Next time she'll think twice before playing stupid games.