So My Best Guy Mate Just Told Me He Fancies Me.. But I Have A Girlfriend... ?

Question

ok to cut a long story short. my best guy mate told me the other day that he fancies me and i like him too. the problem is that i have a girlfriend that i really care for and i want to carry on the relationship with her. i would love to give a relationship with my best friend a try, but it is really really complicated. and i doubt that it would work because of these problems, plus also our friend relationship could either be none existent or make is stronger.

i really dont know what to do. me and him have kissed before and i feel terrible for it because technically it is cheating on my girlfriend.

any advice or help?

should i dump my gorgeous girlfriend for the chance of more happiness with my best mate?

or should i leave it, and always wonder what might have happened if i had changed anything and just be happy with what i have got now??

Answer 1

Flip a coin. Say heads and you brake up with your girl. Tails you stay with her. When it is in the air you will think either I hope it lands on heads or tails. That is what you heart wants, that is the path you should follow. Maybe you should just stay with the girl and mess around with him. That would be the best of both worlds. You seem young so you can handle it. Either way good luck.

Answer 2

the best advice I can give you is to follow your Heart.

It cannot lead you wrong if you truly listen to it.

Answer 3

Only you know what ignites your passion most deeply...him or her.

If you are really truly passionate about your girlfriend -- love her, love holding her, love kissing her, love snuggling with her, love being s**y with her -- there are of course advantages to being in a straight relationship.  Typical dating and marriage is easier; plus you would have the chance for children of your own.

On the other hand, a girl deserves a guy who is over-the-top for her.

Are you?

If you really want your girlfriend and she brightens your eyes and makes your heart race and gives energy to your life, then stay with her and don't just f*ck around for the sake of variety.

On the other hand, if deep down you know that you really want your best guy mate -- and just being around you makes your heart beat and your breath catch -- and if you are more passionate about him than about the girl -- then do the girl *and* yourself a huge favor and gently let her go.  That way, she could get a guy who was over-the-top passionate for her -- and so could you!

What does your body want?  Who do your arms want to hold? Who do you want to sleep with naked?

Oh...and if you so want your friend...does he so want you also?

Or is this just a hairbrained experiment?

If you really, really want each other, you'd be wisest to be truthful and honest and take him as your boyfriend.

If this is a game, it's a silly game.

If your girlfriend makes you hot, then keep her.

Just Listen And  Be Truthful.  Whom do you long for?  Who do you want to hold and never let go?  Let that thought be your clue.

Answer 4

two options from my viewpoint:

sit down with everyone involved and discuss the possibility of an open relationship (i'm polyamorous, so i know it's not easy and is fraught with emotional upheaval if it's not done right) and see where that goes.

if you can't bring yourself and/or the others can't see that as an option, then reaffirm your commitments and walk away from the new guy. you already have a relationship with her that you said you wanted to continue.  so...what would you do if someone out of the blue came up and said they wanted you and you liked them?  dump your girlfriend because the new is more attractive than the old?

Answer 5

"should i dump my gorgeous girlfriend for the chance of more happiness with my best mate?"

don't we all want to be happy? and it's seems to me that u like ur friend more than ur gf? And that u just together with her for public attention ? And ur already thinking about to give up on her?

why don't u make up ur mind so u don't hurt the both in the end.

what would u do if both of them leave u? who would u grab, and not let go?

Answer 6

You said you feel like you have or are cheating on her because you have kissed this guy.  If you truly want to be with him and not her aren't you cheating on her by staying with her even when you want to be with a guy?