So how come there is such an issue with babies being born out of wedlock?

Question

I dont have a problem with it, but some people seem to think its better to be married..even though some people have a more stable relationship even if they are not married. What are your veiws?

Answer 1

I don't really think

"pregnancy"

is the right category for this question.

and to answer your question, I don't have an issue with it as long as both parents love each other and are committed.  

Answer 2

I honestly don't think it is a huge issue anymore, even 10 yrs ago it was still a little looked down on, but now everyone is doing it.

Personally I would like to be married before I have kids but life may not wok out that way, I'm 23 now and single, so if i wanna get married and have kids I'm gonna have to get a move on lol

Answer 3

when you love someone you make vows to that perosn that your gonna b with them forever and everything else you say the same as on your wedding day - but it doesnt cost you 15,000 like weddings do-people already know youre in love you dont need to pay 15,000 to prove it! some people cant afford the special wedding they want so physically cannot do it for a while - it doesnt mean they dont love eachother as much as rich people who can afford there dream weddings quickly - theyve still vowed to be together, it doesnt matter! getting married jsut shows the government you are together by signing a bit of paper - when you are in a relationship and live with them and tel eachother you love eachother it doesnt mean you dont have the same vows and morals until your wedding day-you have them form the day you say i love you!

i am pregnant with my partner, we have lived together for years - but we cannot afford our dream wedding (are saving for it) but we physically cannot afford a wedding atm UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE does it mean we dont love eachother any less than people who are married AT ALL, i dont think its possible to love someone else more than i love my partner-yet im not married atm and im having his child !

me and my partner cannot physically be more commited to eachother-we ve lived together for years, were having a child and we both have vowed to eachotehr to be togther forever-we jsut havnt done it infront of a priest costing us alot of money!

as long as you truly love one another, know eachother properly and are in a commited, honest, faithful relationship and are financially stable - there is no reason not ot have a child - all marriage is is money and proving to the government your together big deal NOT =) thats not what loves all about isit

Answer 4

I am an unmarried mother, I personally don't think it makes a difference as there is no more security in being married than living together. A man (or woman) can just as easily leave when married. I personally believe marriage is only a piece of paper and a lot of expense. It is not a lifetime guarantee.

Answer 5

I just found out  on Saturday that me and my b/f of 7years finally conceived  we have been trying for a year with no  luck until recently.

I think me and my b/f have a better relationship then most of our married friends . I just don't care to waste a bunch of money to have a piece of paper that tells me that someone loves me.

Me and my boyfriend made a promise to stay together until one of us departs this planet and we made that promise 7 years ago.

But i  am afraid to tell my family that I am pregnant for the simple fact the will ask why don't we just go and get hitched....I  don't think it anybodies business how you handle your relationships as long as you are a healthy,mature and consenting adult and you aren't sleeping with half of the population.

Answer 6

I don't think its such an issue anymore. you still find people who do dislike it, but who cares anymore. I am not married and have an 8 month old and I am pregnant again. I am in a great relationship with a person I love so much. I am honestly in the best relationship I have ever been in. We want to get married eventually, but we wanted to wait until we can afford it why rush things if a piece of paper means nothing more then a piece of paper. Feelings are what matter and if we love eachother and our children it does not matter. I think its everyones choice individually. Hope that helps

Answer 7

I personally don't see the problem with it! I'm married and pregnant but i was 6 months pregnant with my first when i got married and older people in my family kinda frowned on it!

I'm not 100% sure why, nor do i care actually lol!

The way i look at it is as long as the parents are happy and care for the child regardless of their martial status then whats the problem?!

I'm sick of hearing about the "proper way to do things". there isn't a proper way to do anything these days!

Answer 8

Don't think there is an issue these days, depends where you live I suppose but even in good old Catholic Ireland as many as 1 in 5 babies are born "out of wedlock".  

Marriage is a dying tradtion, like you say you can be perfectly stable and provide for your children without a piece of paper saying you are married.  

Answer 9

Didn't think there was much of an issue these days. I dont suppose many people notice, I think its more important to being in a stable relationship as a opposed to a warring married couple.

Answer 10

I don't think it's as much of an issue as it once was but I think that generally it is people with old fashioned values or closed minded people.

Answer 11

I don't think there is an issue! some people have personel issues about the subject but thats there iussue not mine! im totally happy with my situation!!! long as the two people are in love live together and can support themselves! thats all that matters.

I think there's more of an issue with young girls getting pregnant with a stranger! or just some lad down the street having no job and not being able to support themselves.

nower days being married isn't really a big issue as in the US 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce! and the uk is like 1in3...

its down to personal choice, I'm 26,  24 weeks pregnant, live with my long term partner, we own our house have done for 6years!!!! and both have long term full time jobs with futures.

we plan to get married in 2010 and share our special day with our special baby boy!  

Answer 12

I haven't got a problem with it.

I see a lot of people on here saying you should be married before having kids so there is less chance that he will leave!  That's ridiculous!  Husband or boyfriend doesn't really matter, they could still leave if they wanted.

Answer 13

because a child should be raised with a high level of commitment. both baby and Mommy need support, and need to know that dad (or partner) is there for good and not going to just walk away from a stressful situation. if your willing to commit to make a PERSON you should have no issues with marriage.

Answer 14

There is no issue is there!? If so ive not heard about it. Nowadays no one is married before they have kids and i personally dont think it makes a difference. I had my first son at 20, my second at 22, got a mortgage, married at 23 and am now expecting my third son at 25!

Answer 15

I don't know why people have issues with people not being married and having children. Have they not seen the divorce rate?? People have problems and instead of trying to work through them or resolve them they just get divorced.  Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and have a 19 month old daughter and I'm due again with our son in November. Do I want to get married..well yes of course I do but I will not be one of the "got married because we have kids" statistics.  If you are in a loving relationship and you live as if you are married why rush into it? My children are not deprived of anything and I am not going to do something to appease other people whom are closed minded.

Answer 16

I think it's fine, I don't see a problem with it.  The ideal situation, however, would be a married couple bringing a baby into a stable home.  Two people can still bring a baby into stable home without being married and those married couples who seem so "perfect" could easily get divorced a couple years down the road.  And it doesn't mean that teenagers should run out and get married if they find out they're expecting...oh no!  All that matters is that you're in a position where you're going to be able to care for your baby and give it all that it needs.  Good luck. =]

Answer 17

I don't think so many people have and issue with it these days. When my 19 year old cousin got pregnant she married her bf of only a few months because she thought it would go down better with her very religous family.... after the wedding when she announced she was 4months gone my aunt was devistated that she has married for this reason!! She had thought it was purely for love and would have preferred the baby be born out of wedlock. A year later they are divorced

Answer 18

Statistically the children are more likely to have parents who split up especially when the children are under 5.  Violence and other forms of abuse are most likely to occur with step parents than natural parents. Also, statistically, children born out of wedlock are less likely to achieve as well as those born within and are morelikely to end up with criminal records.  Mine did not but as I always say 'it is darned hard wrok' being a lone parent.

Answer 19

I( have no problem with young girls getting pregnant I leave the moral issue to them although I personally believe children are  more well adjusted and feel security if the couple are committed or married, too many children today either do not have a relationship with their fathers or do not even know who he is. I do not have strong views about whether they should be married, what I have very strong views about is young women get pregnant when they cannot afford the upkeep of a child and therefore claim benefits (my hard earned taxes) I also object that she gets priority on housing allocation because of the child then we have the father who is usually not working and thereby does not contribute to his child. I know there will be people who will disagree with me but I guarantee that those who work hard WILL agree with me.When a girl decides to have a baby she is entitled to do so but I and thousands like me are entitled to see her and the father pay their way not keep scrounging off the working population. Is it any wonder that we are facing a financial  crisis  in Britain the welfare system nor the health service were created to carry mothers (who will not work)  or fathers who will not support their offspring.mothers who work not only contribute to their family but set a good example to their children

Answer 20

It is better to be married.. don't bring a baby intot the world if you're not sure if you want to bewith your partner.. it's shocking the amount of poor wee kids have brought into the world, soley to act as an accessory for teen mums..

I understand that there are cases, where children out of welock cannot be helped.. but the majority of teenagers are following a trend.. remember when everyone wanted a yo-yo, pogs, tazo's, marbles...

it's just like that.. they want to the little prams, and the little baby gro's.. but not the responsibility..

They need a good foot up the bahooky if you ask me..

- from a 20 yr old !!! Disgusted with my generation~! x

Answer 21

Does it matter if you have a piece of paper, if two people love each other they'll stay together. Me and my husband got married when I was 2 months pregnant with our eldest.

Answer 22

I don't think there is so much anymore but there certainly used to be.  My grandparents had my father out of wedlock (60 years ago) and were very lucky to have been allowed to keep the baby.   In those times the mother would had been sent away to live with nuns and have the baby there.  I'm so proud that my grandparents managed to bring my father up.  They fgot married when he was 3months old amongst much speculation of how they would cope.  I'm also thankful to my great grandparents for supporting them.  I might not have been here today as things could have been so different.

Edit - they are still together now.

Answer 23

I don't think it really matters.  I am about to have 2 children out of wedlock.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  Just because you are married doesn't mean that you are ready for a child.  My mom was upset at first and probably about 2 years ago she told me that I am doing it right.  So either way as long as the child is taken care of that is all that matters.

Answer 24

I say, with a 50 percent divorce rate in the united states, does it really matter if a couple is married? The only people destroying the sanctity of marriage are those that only get married because they are having a kid or have had a kid out of wedlock!