So i have decided to keep my baby now what?

Question

i am currently 3 months pregnant with a child due to rape. I am 17 years old and have been accepted into Brown University to start a Pre-Med program. i was thinking about having an abortion but have decided not to. i have been going through a lot of counseling in order to get rid of the trauma. What should i do now should i stay with my baby?Give him/her to my mom? Go through with 12 years of college to become an ob/gyn? please help me.

Answer 1

well so far it seems like you are dealing well with making your own choices about this situation. it depends on how you feel and if you chose to keep the baby then after he is born and you cannot handle it then you could give him to your mother. it is your choice. but always go through with school. i have three kids and a husband that is like a kid work and go to school online. it is hard but worth it in the long run. good luck and sorry about what happen

Answer 2

Discuss the issue with your family. Under the circumstances your family will most likely be very supportive and understanding.  At the end of the day...the decision is all yours.  If you give the baby up, will you be able to live with that decision? If you have the baby, will it keep you from pursuing your dreams for the future? It not an easy decision but its is one you have to may. So far it looks like you have good morals and want what is best for your mind, body, soul, and the baby. You are very bright. Good Luck to you!

Answer 3

I definitely think you should continue your schooling. Discuss it with your mother; if she is willing to help take care of the baby while you are continuing your education then that's great. If not I suggest adoption.

I'm so sorry about everything that has happened to you. Good luck to you in the future!

Answer 4

I'm sorry that this happened to you.  If you give the baby to your mom it better be for life, would a 12 year old want to be moved?

I had two children in college and it's doable.  With this baby you are going to be eligible for grants and loans that you weren't before.  There are state programs where you can apply for child care assistance.  You can get a student housing apartment for you and the baby.  

At times it'll be really hard but it's doable.  Contact the student services office at Brown.  They'll be able to direct you to someone who can help you apply for the grants (through fasfa) and housing.  

Good Luck

Answer 5

Congrats to you for doing something so couragous.  I would definently consider letting your mom take over care of the baby until you get situated, and get your education done.  Best of luck to you dear!

Answer 6

let your mom get temporary custody until you finish school but still be in the child's life

Answer 7

I am so glad you didn't have an abortion.  One option is to give the baby up for adoption.  There are so many wonderful people who can't have children that would love your baby unconditionally.  I'd like to suggest a book for you to read.  It's called The Atonement Child and it is written by Francine Rivers.

Answer 8

You have to follow your heart on this one. you've done the right thing in keeping your baby in my opinion, who knows, this child could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.  I wasn't a victim of rape, but I am a mother of a three year old who was COMPLETELY unplanned for. I am back in college now, but i took time off when he was just a baby so i could spend all my time with him.  It's taking me forever to get thru school and it's sooo much harder, but when he hugs me and tells me he loves me, it's so worth it.  You can do ANYTHING, just stay strong.  

Answer 9

Adoption.  

Answer 10

If you give your baby up just to go to school - you will regret it for the rest of your life and so will your baby. Why not live with your mom and raise the baby together?

Answer 11

  Put the child up for adoption.  Don't let this setback ruin your dreams, pursue the Brown education and allow your child to grow up in a family that is equipped to care for them.

Answer 12

First of all, I'm really sorry about what happend to you-that's terrible. Good for you for wanting to continue your education! I think you might try to keep your baby with you. You can get assistance for housing and food and things like that and help paying for daycare. If at first you think it's too hard with your schooling and all, maybe grant your mother temporary custody of your child until you can get the hang of school, and then get him/her back? I do think that it's important that you take your opportunity of going to school-that's something I wish I had and I think in the long run, your child will realize one day that you were going to school to be something and to make a life for yourself and him/her. Good luck and I'm proud of you for continuing your schooling! :)

Answer 13

well, once the baby is born give yourself some time to play mother and bond with your baby. And then get your priorities straight. It depends on how you feel from there. A super successful career does not mean happiness, what will make you more happy, to be a mother or to be a ob/gyn? or maybe you dont have to choose, just go with your instincts, you have time. You might even change your mind on career choice.

for the poeple who say adoption, because you were raped and you dont have to ruin your life. Adoption could also be damaging to her, its not like you just give away your baby and pretend it never happened, it can be a life long of grief. Especially if she is not 1000% sure. And it doesnt mean her life is ruined because she decided to keep it.

partiesbyangel i agree with you 100%

Answer 14

I am so sorry that happened to you, sounds like you had your life planned out too : (  You are making a very selfless decision to keep your baby and I commend you for that. I think that whatever you do, you shouldnt let the crime that was committed stop you from acheiving your dreams. If your mum is prepared to look after your baby, then I would take that option so that you can finish school.  

Answer 15

That is a decision that you and only you can make! No matter what your age you and only you will be that childs mother! If need be, don't you want to be able to be there for your child one day like your mother is willing to do for you? Just because you have a child, or two, or three that should never stop you from furthering your education...once you have children, yes it is definatly not as easy as it would be with out them, but they should be your drive...your burning desire to better yourself and your way of life. No longer for your self alone, but now for your child. You will be giving your child a reason to look up to you, and be proud of you! And yes there will come a day when you want your children to be proud of you.

*Remember that God will never hand you more than you can handle*

If you do decide to put off schooling right now that doesn't mean that you can't ever finish, that just means you hit a bump in the road and will have to take a detour and continue on later in life.  Good luck with everthing! A child is truely the one thing that you did not know you were missing until you have one!

Answer 16

I think it is brave that you decided to keep the baby.  Have you looked into putting the child up for adoption? It may be the best choice for both of you. The child can be put in a home with parents who are ready to care for him/her, and you can move on with your life and accomplish some of your dreams and goals. If you want to stay involved with the child, you can always do an open adoption and recieve updates throughout the child's life. Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

Answer 17

ur going thru a lot and going to a therapist is a great start. u could give temp custody to ur mom until ur done with med skool. if u go to skool u will give ur child and self what a lot of ppl don't have, a head start. or do an open adoption with a couple who would love to have a baby. no matter what this child will be in ur thoughts and prayers every single second of every single day. u will miss him/her. an adoptive family would tell the child that ur the "tummy mommy" and they are the "heart family".  untill the child is old enough to understand, then they may call u up to help explain things.  i pray everything goes according to God's plan for you!!!! good luck!!!