So i really care about this guy... the girlfriend is crazy jealous?

Question

okay, so i'm going to put this straight. I DO NOT LIKE THE GUY I AM MENTIONING IN THIS QUESTION.

but i do really have a heart for him, we've been friends for forever, and he just recently opened up to me (he hasn't opened up to many people, and we are pretty close) , and told me about all of the c**p that his life is. and trust here, it's pretty awful.

i always open up to him, to try and give him a chance to talk because i know he doesn't get that too often, but he has a girlfriend, who thinks that i like him because i am so interested. i dont think she knows the situation (he's not too proud of any of it) , and he doens't talk to me as much because of this. i don't know if he thinks i like him too, or if its just her. i know that she's jealous, but i can't just ignore my friend here, he needs someone on a different level than girlfriend.

what should i do? how should i adress this?

Answer 1

Dang, I'm sorry. She sounds like she is really insecure and doesn't want another girl to talk to her boyfriend, even if you guys are just friends. Best of luck.

Answer 2

keep talking to him... u sound like a really goood friend...

tell him up front that u only think of him as a friend

Answer 3

YOU shouldn't address it.  He should.  If he is emotionally so bad off that he can't tell her about it, then he should be getting professional help - no matter how good a friend you are, a friend is not a therapist and a therapist should not be a friend.  They are two different (both very important) roles.

If he has tried to tell her - that there are bad things that you've helped him through, that he doesn't want to wallow through with her - and she won't accept it, then it's probably not an emotionally healthy relationship for him.  But in that case, it's going to be HIS choice to make - her or you.

The fact that you and he aren't romantic doesn't really change anything - what she's jealous of is the strong *emotional* bond you share with *her* boyfriend.

Answer 4

If he doesn't talk to you then that's his problem. And if you already tried explaining the situation and they don't understand it then s***w them. Obviously he isn't a good friend if he is talking to you less. He is just letting his girlfriend get to his head. Just talk to him less and then he'll probably eventually see how you feel. I say you should totally ignore it because obviously they are too dumb to know the truth. I know you have been friends for like "ever", but the best thing to do is give him some space and just let him hang out with his girlfriend ( until they break up that is ) because it's like he is choosing you over his girlfriend. And I don't think that's fair to you. :)

BUT if you really don't want to do all that.

Confront them and be like "Get it through your thick head of yours "I don't like your boyfriend!" and you could tell him "I only like you as a friend, and you may think different, but I'm telling the truth" and make sure you look him in the eye so he believes you.

Answer 5

sorry to say but its really not your place to be there for him like that. it should be his girlfriend. i would be so effing mad at you if i was her! it seems like you are kind of competing with her... i think you should stop

Answer 6

YOU should tell his Girlfriend that you're just trying to be there for him because it's so easy for you  to understand, and you know how to be there for him.

Answer 7

just tell him and his girlfriend that you two are friends and nothing more. But don't be there like a girlfriend for him, be there as a friend. Thats why his girlfriend may be a bit insecure.  

Answer 8

Respect your friend wishes.Let him come to you if he wants to talk.Give him enough rope to honor your friendship.The next move is up to him.The girlfriend may be jealous as she may want to be the one he confides in, and she feels that you and he share a strong bonds.You are not wrong to want friendship.Friendship is a two way street,and he must not feel all this pressure but come freely to share.Love your friend and be patient with him.Friends, true friends are a great treasure, and you seem like a great friend to him.

Answer 9

tell him about this

or tell her this

or get a boyfriend for a a little bit so they know

good luck  

Answer 10

First he should tell his girlfriend that you and he are nothing more than friends. She either accepts it or he can send her on her way. Jealously is a bad disease. Not good for her or anyone around her. It makes every ones life miserable. One question I have is if she is his girlfriend and cares a lot for her why isn't he confiding in her? That would make a lot of sense to me. You two could still be friends. But having a girlfriend you should be able to talk to her.  

Answer 11

Dont let her get second hand information, approach her yourself and explain that although you are friends with her boyfriend that romantically theres no involvment and never will be. If shes still uneasy maybe talk to him about maybe limiting your contact. Try and sympathise with her. You might be seen as a threat even though your not intentionally doing anything

Answer 12

My best friend for many years was a guy. My ex actually said it best. He liked my best friend and had no problems with me and him being buds. However, he said, if one of his friends saw me and my bud out, he couldn't say "oh that's her best friend" because he would look like a fool. So true. Just tell your friend that you are going to give him space and respect his girlfriend. It's touchy.

Answer 13

The only reason the girlfriend is jealous, is because she thinks he's gonna leave her. But that's not the case here, because your his best friend, tell the girlfriend to cool it. Or just ignore her, let him deal with her because you didn't do anything wrong, your just being a good friend :]