So if all the adoptees that complain about adoption are so secure in what theyre saying?

Question

How come the question I asked yesterday got deleted? It doesn't matter, because I already picked best answer and closed it, but maybe all those 'strong, empowered, and out of the adoption fog' adoptees aren't so sure about what they say?

Answer 1

It's funny, the only people I've seen complain or whine in the form of a question are APs, happy adoptees, and natural mothers.  Not the 'angry and bitter' adoptees.

I am very certain of what I say and mean in regard to adoption, BTB.  

I predict that next you will be moaning about  are 'thumbs down' or why doesn't everyone think I'm a hero 'cause I gave my baby away...

[Yawn]

Answer 2

Help me out here, Nyla...wasn't it you who posted here not too long ago about your own daughter who you relinquished for adoption?

You were pretty upset that she wouldn't call you "mom" and didn't seem to have much interest in getting to know you.

I could be wrong, but I could have swore it was you...sorry if I'm mistaken.

But if this is the case, do you think maybe you are projecting your frustrations with your own daughter onto other adoptees?  I'm sorry your daughter isn't welcoming you more openly (if indeed that WAS you) but perhaps your energies would be better off being focused on healing yourself, instead of lashing out at some percieved "enemy"?

Just a thought.  

And I AM sorry, I know what it's like to have a not-so-great reunion.

Answer 3

Because your question got deleted, you surmise that adoptees are insecure?  Logic?

Your question was probably reported (and not by me btw) because it was rude and not really a question.  Kinda like this one.

Imho, you are barking up the wrong tree.  If you have issues because of giving your daughter up and she's not wanting to talk to you right now, that's not our fault.  Do you think maybe, just maybe, you're projecting your hurt and frustration onto us?  

I really hope that things work out for you.  When you first posted about your problems with your daughter, the people that answered you whom I think are the adoptees that you're directing this question to, all gave you very supportive and caring answers.  I just went back and read them, and there is nothing in there that is hostile towards you from these particular people.  

I, personally am sympathetic to your pain, because I have felt the pain of separation from the other side.  I answered you then to try to explain where your daughter may be coming from as best as I was able to, so that you could maybe understand her a little better and not feel so hurt.  I closed that post with "Best to you and her", and I still wish that to you both.

Answer 4

Don't pass judgement on to others. Each person is different so they will deal differently with their adoption. Just because someone is fine with their adoption doesn't mean they are weird or they shouldn't push their feelings on to others. Like wise if someone has issues with their adoption doesn't mean they are weird and they shouldn't push their feelings on to others.

Please grow up and learn that people are different, so you need accept there will be different feelings and opinions about a subject, especially about adoption. If you can't handle the different feelings that people have(like noodles) don't come on here.

ETA--- Just another adoptee here is the link of Nyla S question. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

And here is her question:

My daughter doesn't want to know me!?

I gave her up to adoption at birth, I did it for her I knew I would never make a mom. Now she's 22, and I've found her. Her family are cool, but she just not that interested. Most times she won't return my calls or nothing, she does meet me occasional, and she talk to me when I call, but she dont call me mom or nothing. I feel like I made a mistake now and i want to make up for lost time but she dont' aknowledge me as her mom. What the h**l do I do?

• 4 weeks ago

Additional Details

4 weeks ago

Even her family been telling her to get to know me, shes not cold or nothing, just don't seem to love me

So, it seems she actually hates her daughter and herself. Not us on this board.

Answer 5

most are selfish and it is only about them To h**l with whoever's life is disrupted.

Answer 6

You mean the question where you attacked adoptees?  I'm so surprised that your insulting, abusive question was deleted.

I've been standing up to bullies all my life.  And they don't like being stood up to, I find.  They usually try to lash out again.

Usually, people who feel the need to repeatedly insult others have self-esteem issues.

Answer 7

ya know i was adopted by my bio grandmother. bio mom abandoned me at 6mo old in hotel to die. am i a bit bitter about it yes. but i dont let it dictate my life. i have had an awesome experiance. i am so pro-adoption. i have such a positive out look. yes it was hard and not fair but why do so many in this adoption section just whine? woo poor is me. move on or seek some help. move forward, learn from your experiances and be a better person for them.

all i can do is say yeah thats my story but its not who i am. i am a happy wife. a great mom to my kids. a good friend. and a positive member of society.

dont let them get you down. im sorry your question got deleted. adoption is awesome when considering the alternitives.

Answer 8

I don't understand your question.

143 million orphaned children need homes and adoption has become more difficult to keep orphaned children from people using them as slaves.

Answer 9

Please don't confuse the many open minded adoptees who come to this board with the handful of radicals who post here who are for some reason bent on disgracing adoption.  (Unfortunately, it only makes them seem very odd, rather than help along their cause, which I believe they have a right to.)

Answer 10

Don't feel bad, my question on semantics got deleted as well.  Apparently every adoptee on the forum can ask a question basically bashing anyone who ever dares to use the term "birth mother" but if anyone doesn't like their vocabulary it's against the rules.  

You know the reason yahoo gave?  That I hadn't asked a question.  I thought that was funny, since I had several question marks in my post.  According to all my English teachers up to date, a question is any full sentence that ends with a "?".  Oh well...

Answer 11

According to the help section community guidelines, a question can be deleted after it closes because the best answer violated community guidelines.  Was it your question in violation, or was the answer you chose as best answer in violation?

Answer 12

Because of it's attacking tone, I would think that it violated Y!A's terms of service agreement to which we must agree prior to being about to use Y!A.

I did not report you, despite the condescending and rude tone of your question.  I do stand by every word of my response, however.  There's no reason to attack people because they want to help make changes that would better adoption in the U.S.

Answer 13

i'm not sure if it was deleted due to someone's insecurity. i think it was deleted because it was flaming and violated TOS.  just my guess...

i've had several questions and answers deleted.  welcome to the club.

ps. wasn't me...i was too busy grading papers and working out my "chi."

pss. i'm quite secure in my stance.

psss. this question might be deleted too.  check the Y! A community rules.

be well.

Answer 14

I didn't report you and I didn't delete your question.  Believe me,  I don't have that kind of power.  

Did you violate TOS?

I still stand by what I said.

Sorry your question was deleted.

Answer 15

Sorry I didnt see your question.