So *most* people denying that they judge people on their looks... are lying?

Question

Hmm... a small story about how I discovered that yes, when most people say they don't judge people on looks, are lying. Or maybe they just grew up. What do you think?

This January, I came out as bisexual to all my friends, via my myspace orientation. I’m guessing - well, I pretty much know that I was ridiculously ugly back then. I was good friends with a lot of the prettier, more popular people in my year at the time, although my actual group of best friends weren’t the super popular, super pretty people.

So, most of those perfect girls stopped being friends with me. They made catty comments. And the guys comments were a lot worse. So I take it on the chin and ignore what they say. I took bisexual off my myspace. Juvenile, granted, but that’s how I felt.

Anyway, five months on, a lot has changed. I’ve discovered spot cream, hair straighteners, make-up, nice clothes and exercise. I think it’s fair to say I’ve grown up quite a lot. Then, out of the blue, one of the cute, popular boys of my year asks me out. Since he was funny, sweet and cute I said yes. And we went out for three weeks, until he dumped me. In the time we were going out, I made back friends with all of the previously mentioned girls, who dumped me when I came out as bi. It’s kind of safe to say I look a lot nicer than I did back then - I mean, let’s just say for the sake of argument I was now considered “pretty”. Whatever that is, now.

So last week I decided to come out as bisexual all over again before school began. I changed my myspace orientation and put on my profile “YES, I am bisexual, and no, I don’t care if it upsets you.” And a few of the girls messaged me saying things like ‘Hey. It’s really cool that you’re so open about it, I respect you for that’. And the other day we went out for a meal and they treated me completely normal. Afterwards I checked with them, asking them if they knew I was bi. They all nodded and said of course, why did it matter.

Does that not just prove how beauty-centred the world is now? Before, I was ugly and bisexual and it’s disgusting and wrong. Now, I’m “pretty” and bisexual, and it’s absolutely fine. Sorry for it being ridiculously long, by the way :P

Opinions?

Answer 1

its ok that what you wrote was long lol. people are here to listen to you and see what you have to say when you need them .  well i agree people do lie about judgeing by looks. same goes with being racist, prejudice and that sort of stuff. people will judge u no matter what , they will judge by looks, the way you present yourself, personality.

even people are judging you right now by what you wrote and how you wrote it... it really just comes naturaly

but im sorry they were so cruel and harsh on you. one true thing is god made everyone beautiful in there own way and if they were too immature to see that then forgive them , for they know not wat they do .

keep your head up sweetie and just be yourself. if you try to be someone your not, you will never be happy in the long run.

<333

lots of love

~*andriia*~

Answer 2

So humans are shallow, hypocritical little s***s?

I'm shocked.

Answer 3

The truth is WE ALL DO THIS.  We judge them on their looks for:

Honesty

Trustworthyness

Security reasons (are they safe?)

Employment reasons

Sexuality

and on and on and on.  We judge others constantly.

Now if you meant do people judge people, vis-a-vis relationships, strictly by their looks.... well that's different and pretty shallow.

Answer 4

yeah you're totally right.  those b*****s!

i'm surprised you went back to those back-stabbers after they screwed you the year before.

Answer 5

For some reason all that really comes to mind when i read that is the fact that those girls are real b*****s, i mean who in their right mind would want to be around people like that. The way i personally look at it is that not everyone out there is like that, i mean every one has their moments, but that is intersting to me that anyone would want to hang out with people that before they were quote on quote pretty, called them names and so forth. Eh just a thought i suppose, they just sound like really fake people that's all.  

Answer 6

Just because 'some' people are like that doesn't mean ALL people are like that...you are also in a 'particular' school area which may, or may not, cater to a particular segment of society...  As people mature, they start finding out that their 'younger' thoughts aren't as 'true' as they used to be...and, in fact, they weren't true at all...just 'perceived' as such...  So, be thankful you're 'blossoming' into a more mature, self confident person...you should be much happier now that you know it's important what 'you' think...and not so important what 'others' may think...

Answer 7

looks play about 50% to me.so its 50/50....if that makes me look shallow then i am. but i dont think so. im just honest with myself.i cant force an attraction.

but other than looks, i look for: confidence, a sense of humour/humor , intelligence, honesty, manners, a person who isnt afraid to speak their mind but know when to shut up, someone who loves to talk, someone fun, a person who isnt afraid to be experiential in the sheets lol and knows what they want. someone who can offer a sense of protection, who isnt afraid to show emotion, who can be sensual and sensitive.a great personality is a MUST. he/she has to make me smile alot.

so really, if you manage to steal my heart, i reall dont care what you look like.

for friendships lol it doesnt really matter. i love people lol. i hate haters.

Answer 8

cha.....congrats! you found the criteria for acceptance that you wanted to find. be careful, tho'  - if you grew that much in 5 months and so much has changed in that time, think what could happen by the end of the school year if other things like personality, humor, intelligence, charm come in to play...could it be there's a correlation between your concept of yourself as beautiful and your confidence and self esteem?

Answer 9

Well..

Yes  & no.

It depends on what kind of people you hang out with.

I myself would judge ANYBODY on their looks.