So my 10 year old stepson calls me "mom" only on and off?

Question

He lives with us full time- and sees his bio-mother a couple times a year. I don't mind him calling me this- if he wants to.... but since it's only sporadic- I wonder if there is something else he can call me?

He asked me himself if he could- but seems uncomfortable with it at times....

grandma is sometimes nana, or something- are there different ways to say "mom" or "mother"?

Answer 1

Let him decide.  Just take it as it comes.

If his mom only sees him a couple of times with no other interaction, you are a mom. If she is a constant presence, then you are family. Either way, you win.  Does it really matter?

Answer 2

I was stepdad to two girls and went through the same thing for a period. The oldest called me dad almost from the start and with the youngest (about 10) it was an off and on thing for quite a while. I could sense that she was not truly comforable with it but I didn't force it nor did I try to find some name other than my own to call me by. I don't remember how long it lasted (not all that long) but she has been calling me dad for about 25 years now and will only refer to me by my given name when both myself and her biological father are being discussed.

Don't push him into anyting that he is not going to be comfortable with....chances are that he will come to terms with whatever is going on within himself and all will be good (except the normal teen years turmoil) before too long.

The oldest by the way, asked me to adopt her when she turned 18.....quite out of the blue and a very proud moment in my life.

Answer 3

let him call you whatever he feels comfortable with.Do you call him " son " or by his name ?

Every parent is different,some accept the step-children as their own ,others want nothing to do with them.

My friend is married with two step-children and he loves them very much and the boys love him just the same.

Answer 4

My step son is 5 and he calls me Mama Kira and his mother mom.  We had the same thing happen with my husband and my son he ask if he could call him dad but only didn't now and then, then it got more regular and now that what he calls him. Sometime they get confussed if the other parent is only in and out of their lives. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

My 9 yo daughter calls her Bio-Dad, "Dad" and my hubby "Dad" or "Daddy Ryan" or "Ryan"....It depends on what she feels like. It has nothing to do with her being uncomfortable, she just calls him what she wants :)

Good luck!

Answer 6

How about ma... With my inlaws they speak Hindi.. i am not at all comfortable with calling them mum and dad.. So i call the Ammi (it means mum in their language) and Abba -dad... I feel like i am calling them a name.. like sonia and steve.. and i am more comfortable.. How about Ma? Or a nick name for you...I also think that the times he calls you mom he feels that connection and the times he doesn't and looks uncomfortable maybe say to him hey it's ok to call me ".........................." <what ever your name is. And smile.. He probably doesnt want to upset you and would probably feel a lot better knwoing you dont mind him calling you mom and you don't mind him calling you by your name

Answer 7

I know a girl whose parents are divorced... she's 8 and she calls her biological mother mom and her stepmom mama. She calls her biological dad dad and her stepdad daddy.

It really sounds okay... he's only 10 and he'll figure out what he wants to call you soon enough. He could also call you by your first name.

Good luck!

Answer 8

i introduce my step dad as my dad but i call him by his name in reality he is not my father he has his own kids i just dont think its right maybe confusing a little bit imagine if that shoe was one the other foot ur kid callin another woman mom even if u do suck as a mom.my real dad sucks but thats what God gave me.

Answer 9

How about Mom and the first letter of your first name?  My cousins used to call their step father PapaG because his first name was George.  He grew to love the name and when the kids started having grandkids that is what he had the grands call him as well.  Now the grandkids have kids and they all call him PapaG

Answer 10

I would leave it alone.  If he asked you he obviously is leaning towards calling you mom, but is working it out in his own head.  I have a stepson and no matter what his mom did or didn't do for him...she was always still him mom and I respected that.  He obviously feels very close to you and sometimes it feels right and sometimes it doesn't.  Let him go with it and work out his own feelings.  If you say something to him, he might feel that he can no longer call you mom when he does feel it....and it might end up hurting him.  He is 10, and inside prob very sad about not seeing his mom very often, but very happy to have someone to be in that spot for him and love him...you.  Let him ride through his own feelings and no matter what he calls you, smile and answer....it will let him know that your love is unconditional, mom or not.

Answer 11

I know i call my stepdad dad sometimes but not all the time, I would just let him choose what he is calling you.  If he calls you mom one time and by your first name the next don't worry about it, really he has to figure out himself what he is comfortable calling you but chances are if he has already called you mom a few times then he is ok with calling you that but might be afraid that you don't like him calling you that or is afraid of making your or someone else uncomfortable by calling you that.

Answer 12

My little cousin calls my mother Momma-Conni, it's sorta like saying "Aunt Conni" but a little closer relationship.

Just "Momma" works too, I call a friends mother that, it helps to say it like a name.

I also call my own mother "Ma" sometimes. She hates it. =D