So my dad is keeping secrets from the family...again.

Question

Basically when i was 13 i found out from my mom that my dad was having an affair with some girl in Florida (that he's actually cheated on mom with before but I was like 2 at the time so I don't remember)

anyways I never really had solid proof...and over time the anger from the divorce thing cooled down and when i was 16 i had practically forgotten about what my dad had done.

I've never confronted my dad about it, I don't even know if he knows that me and my brother know he cheated on mom.

Anyways now i'm 17 and my mom has moved on =] and her boyfriend is a nice guy. My dad always tries to make it look like she's doing something wrong though or making jokes about her boyfriend.

My brother works with my dad and today he was going through his phone message (text messages) and found a bunch from this person.

"I'm not just your florida girlfriend anymore!"

and "I'm taking my stuff from up there (NY) and you can come get your stuff down here (florida)" so obviously he's been living with her in florida (one text message also said that) and she's been visiting him uphere...

and he never told us....ever. I mean he acts all innocent like he doesn't do anything except "watch tv with a microwavable dinner" every night so we feel bad for him but really he's still with that SAME GIRL he left the family for....

Anyways even though I got over this last year, now there's hardcore evidence and proof and I'm feeling all my anger come up again.

I finally want to tell my dad off (like i have since the age of 13) but I don't want to cause even bigger problems...

I don't know. What should I do? My mom doesn't know yet...and technically it's none of her business but I mean atleast his KIDS deserve to know.

Oh some text messages also said, "All you ever do when you come down here is work work work and talk about yor kids. Stay away fro that controlling muslim"

okay so my mom is not muslim (although her dad was) but it's obvious this woman is talking about my mom. I'm really mad and i feel hurt andbetrayed aaaall over again.

GAH what do i do? sorry if none of this made sense it's just a lot to write down and a lot of info.

Answer 1

*sigh*  i kinda kno wut ur goin thru.

Its all natural to feel anger towards your dad, and it will be hard to forgive him. But you must. Try to understand that ur mom and dad arent together anymore and he is allowed to have another relationship. Whether he cheated on her more after u were 2, i dont think it should matter. Its in the past, ya kno?

You can try to tell ur dad how u feel about this. And when he makes jokes about ur mom's bf, just make a joke about his p**a in florida ;)

that should shut him up.

and im srry :( good luck!!

Answer 2

you can be angry with dad..mom needs to know..maybe she already does..it is not right for what you dad is doing to your mom..cheating is so wrong..it messes up the family

Answer 3

nobody is perfect.

relax, just worry about yourself.