So sick of people being rude and negative!?

Question

im 19 and 13 weeks pregnant. i've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we live together.

this wasnt planned, but my boyfriend and I have accepted it and are excited now. we know its not going to be easy being young but we are both committed to eachother and are going to do whatever we can to make it work.

i just starting to tell my friends and family that im pregnant and everyone is so negative about it. my boyfriends family is really supportive and so is my dad, but my mom and all of my friends just keep telling me "your f*cking stupid" or "you ruined your life".

and its really getting SO discouraging telling people. there are still people in my family who have to tell and im dreading hearing the same horrible comments again.

is there anyway to tell them without hearing their negative opinions? do you think it will just take time for them to come around?

did anyone else have a similar problem???

also most of my friends arent doing anything with their lives. they are still partying(which theyve been doing since 13) not going to college & barely working... so it really pisses me off that im in school and working and getting ready for a baby and they are telling me IM ruining my life... its like really, why dont you look at your life!!!!(( sry just venting))

anyway, any advise or help would be very much appreciated!

thanks :)

Answer 1

If your happy then be happy don't let other people ruin it for you, you sound like you will make a great mum Congrats!  

Answer 2

Don't worry about rude and negative people. Just wait until your baby is born and you will realize that it was the best thing to ever happened to you.  

Answer 3

Dont worry about the negative comments, they will soon feel stupid when you both prove them wrong and become good parents.  congratulations and good luck x

Answer 4

Really and truly, these people are probably actually jealous of you. Including your Mum. You might be thinking now 'why the heck would they be jealous of me?' Well, you're going to college, which means you're working towards a career eventually, you have a job which is supporting you well enough since you said you don't need benefits, and you've got a loyal and, as far as I can tell, nice boyfriend who is sticking by you.

You don't even have to tell EVERYONE in your family, the relatives you have told can do that for you by gossiping with each other. I know the only people I have to tell is my immediate family, and, out of personal choice, one of my aunts who I'm close to. No one else needs to be told by myself personally, mainly because I know my Mum will just blab anyway. And my partner could tell whoever he wanted.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Answer 5

thats kind of what happened to me when i first started telling people.my family was shocked but all my friends told me i ruined my life and i can nvr party again(theyre all in college) but if thats what u want and thats whats right for u then dont listen to anyone else.

Answer 6

im 25, graduated from college 2 years ago. Have my own house, car, and am in graduate school. When i got pregnant, people still told me i ruined my life. So forget them and do what makes u happy.

Answer 7

they are dumb I Had my baby later for this dumb Morman place i live in and i got the same thing but opposte then you. your gonna be to old to play with them ( I AM 34lol) aNYWAY I just prove tem wrong!! I am the only mom I see around me running around , thin , and happy as h**l. Like i said show them by what you can do with your family !!!

Answer 8

i got pregnant at 17, was unplanned but when i told my aunty she said "EESH" with a very shocked face and open mouth and look at my mum

i imagined telling everyone i would get the same reaction, unfortunetly i miscarried at 10weeks :(

Answer 9

Well, good for you. I don't think you need advice. You're right - if you and your boyfriend are committed to each other, and both looking forward to bringing a baby into the world then how have you ruined your life? It could well be the best thing you ever do.

I think it will take time for your friends to come round. It might take a while of you showing what a fulfilled and happy life you are leading before that happens. You're just going to have to wait for them to grow up.

As for your family, you can prove them wrong (if they react badly) by being a devoted mother. I'm sure you will. All the best.

Answer 10

Well when I told people I knew would be all negative I started saying I had really great news.  Then I never said I was pregnant.  I always said we are having a baby.  That way they knew my mind was already made up.  Otherwise they felt like I wanted their opinion I guess!

I think a lot of people will change their opinion later!  When they see you working hard and loving your baby and being a good mom, what can they say?

If they are really bugging you Id try to find a few people who do support you so someone is there to talk to.  Its hard when everyone is telling you youre wrong.  Maybe you can meet someone at school with kids?  That might help you feel better if you can be friends with another young mom.

Well good luck!

Answer 11

just say to them if theyve not got anything positive to say then dont say anything

THEN tell them

Answer 12

Prove them all wrong!!  Prove to them that it can work out and you can have a great happy life.

Your true friends will still be your friend after you have your baby and they are sick of hearing about "baby"... they will still be there for you.  This is a time in your life to make changes.  Get rid of the negative people and surround yourself with positive people.

You're right about your friends... they'll still be partying when they're 30 too!!

Answer 13

iya i had the same thing I'm 18 my bf is 20 and wen we told both our families there was only his dad that was happy for us the rest were saying have a abortion it took time but now they have all come round to the idea of us having a baby because they have had time to think and they have realised yes we might be young but we are mature enough to look after our baby really hope this helps you and your family will come round to the idea it will take time but they will x*x

Answer 14

hey i no how u feel I'm 17 and 32 weeks pregnant and the baby's dad walked out on me when i told my mum i was pregnant she called me every name under the sun and when i was out shopping my best friends mum called me a slag in the middle of the shopping centre iv never been so upset in my life iv fin college (finished early) but passed the course i have a job when I'm ready to go bk my friends all say iv ruined my life but i feel saying wot u feel like saying. my family have came round now and have been gr8 after the shock I'm sure when they see what a gr8 mummy u will be I'm sure they will come round gd luck with the baby and ur family x

Answer 15

Yes you are young but a child isnt going to ruin your life!

you are in a stable relationship ... you have the support of your boy friend ... you are not opting to kill your child ...you are not "fu*king stupid" ~~

You are realistic ... being a mom is hard work wether you are 19 or 25... its good that you are so mature ... even at an early age!

Its nice to know that not all teen girls want abortions ... :)

Good job! :) and congratulations!!  

Answer 16

You know what, good for you.  Don't listen to them.  You have your life in order and they are just being immature children and as for the people who are telling you that you've messed up they've never experienced the joy of their children and that is sad.

I look at my fourteen month old and i love him more than anything and i know that he loves me more than anything and that is so special.  Children are such a blessing and if these narrow minded people don't realise that then they don't deserve to be in your life.  They should be supportive of you right now!! Be strong and no that soon you will have more joy in your life than you ever thought possible!!

Answer 17

I just turned 20 in May and my boyfriend and I planned on getting pregnant. We made a commitment to be with each other. Regardless on being planned or not, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. I haven't had much negativity from people I KNOW because they're all excited for me, and I've actually inspired a few of my friends to GROW UP and do school and not just go through the motions. I'm in school and recently quit my job (I have a new one set up after my baby boy is born). A LOT of my friends are still partying and are doing nothing with their lives and I feel like starting my family early is the best decision I made. I've grown up so much and look at life much differently. Priorities are priorities. Just tell all the negative people how you feel. If you don't want to hear what they have to say tell them that. If you do, hear it, then tell them what you think. When you tell people you're expecting, sound so excited. When they tell you you're ruining your life or sound discouraging tell them how excited you are.

I wish you the best of luck. You're in for such an amazing experience.. until you're down to the last 2 days like me =D

Answer 18

well to some people 19 is young to have the responsibility of having a child but yet your with a man who loves you and you love him. Honestly in the long term tell everyone else to suck a lemon.  Your being responsible by taking on the task of raising your baby. Going to school and working is a sign of maturity.  And like I have quoted before maturity doesn't come with age it comes with wisdom.   As long as you know its a life long commitment and your happy with your decision nothing else matters except your little family.  Your mom will get over it the lude comments from others will go away some actually could be jealous believe it or not.  But if you are doing what you know and think is right for you now then good for you.

Answer 19

I went through the same thing when I got pregnant with my son at 18. People seem to think that if you are young, you will not be prepared or a good mother. I just said to anyone that was negative that I was very happy and that they could keep their negative comments to themselves.  

Answer 20

um- good luck.

s***w them all- My philosophy is when they pay your bills and clothe your children, they can give their opinions. Also, just be a responsible adult and act like mature mom and people will change their tune eventually.

(19 is really young, its not going to be easy for you guys)

Answer 21

i had my little boy when i was 17 and i had to listen to all the same comments from so called mates! it sucks but they will always have something to say. i am now on pregnancy number 2 at 23, i am married and have a great job and most the people who made those comments to me are the ones doing nothing with their lives. you hold your head up high and enjoy every second of your pregnancy and child. its an amazing achievement to bring up a child (and hard work lol). good luck to you and your partner! x

Answer 22

Well, if you think about it you can't expect everyone to be happy-happy. You're still young and they're just worried about you. You shouldn't compare your life with other people either.. like those friends of yours who haven't been doing anything at all. Bringing other people down by putting yourself up. I'm 22 and I get negative reactions from some people, but then it'll eventually go away. They also need to go through acceptance with what happened to you. It's something that you have to get used to and don't let that discourage you. When the baby comes out they'll be total opposites. That's what happened with my friend. Her parents didn't take it in a good way and it's understandable but when they saw their grandchild, they wouldn't let go of him. My friend's older sister got pregnant when she was 19 too and when her dad found out, he hit her and slapped her (which is way worse than what you're going through) but now he just adores his grandchildren. I'm sure your mom's going to do the same thing. It's her grandchild for crying out loud.. Good luck!! :) Things will get better for you, I promise.

Answer 23

tell your friends thank you for the rude comment you are doing so much Whit your life. u know pARTYING all the time

Answer 24

Its ok my family doesnt even know my bf because of his age i had to tell them that he left me be4 i knew i was pregnant. When i told them i was pregnant they call told me that i was going to be a bad mom and that i needed to put the baby up for adoption. I didnt tell anybody in my family that i was pregnant till i was 6 months because i know how they would react and i was right. Now everybody in my family is happy and is ready for the baby to come they tell me all the time how srry they r for saying that c**p they said when they found out.

Answer 25

The same thing is happening to me, my boyfriend family is supportive but my mom is disappointed, i say just give them time to come around. Its worst for me because im 19 and still on campus, so walking around campus heads always turning looking at me, i have had more than 10 people ask me have i consider abortion. Im learning to ignore

Answer 26

please ignore all the negative comments i was ninteen just after my baby was born and some people did look down thier noses at me but im 32 now and my son is nearly 14 although it was tuff at times you will cope please dont listen to people they can be so cruel my son and me have a great relastionship  as im still young enough to be a trendy mom from his eyes anyway yes things  do have to get put on hold at times but not for ever but that is the case with any new born baby regardless of age you will be fine let others think what they like prove them wrong be the best mom you can and please dont worry your self any more take care best of luck x

Answer 27

How frustrating! Honestly I expected some negative comments and kind of prepared myself for negativity, but fortunately I never got it. Easier said than done, when they start to tell you how dumb you are or how you're ruining your life, just tell them "I am very excited about this baby. Sometimes life doesn't always go as planned, but you have to go with it. The last thing I need right now is negativity, so please save it." Then leave it at that. If they continue firmly tell them that you do not need the negativity. If they persist again---leave. They will come around. You need to set boundaries for these people and if they choose to not abide by them you don't have to include them in your life right now. Stay positive!! Congratulations and good luck!!!

Answer 28

Wow, they're mean... Well, I'd ignore them, and if they come around, and start being nice, I'd give them a chance, but, until then, don't let their negativity, cloud what is obviously a happy time for you. :) Good luck!

Answer 29

At least your 19 and have a steady bf, unlike those 13 yr old girls who have no idea who the father is.

Congrats to you and good luck x

Answer 30

just carry on with your life and s***w those who are rude to you...

Answer 31

dont listen to them. i was preggo at 16 and now i am 21, and baby 2 is due any day. I never thought my daughter ruined my life, she made it harder but so much better. I would never trade my kids for anything. Until those people have kids they wont know, and as for your mom, did you ruin her life?