So tell me what you think about my poem?

Question

This poem is used for dramatic purposes, please just say what you think of it were it needs improvement

Why is it so hard to wake up in the morning

why is it so hard to keep on going on

people look at me an only see the happy me

just another lie about me

im sick of pretending

sick of people laughing

im sick of liying it ways me down

im sick of myself i really am

what hurts the most

is when i can lie to myself

or to some one i care an belive it to

im sick of hurting people

im sick of every thing

i cant change the past

but changing the future seems just as hard

when it could be easy an i could just lie my way out

im not a bad person

i swear to you that

i just dont know who i am

the lies are counsuming me

there eating me inside an out

just get them off of me

there like a sickness

now were is the pill

the shot

the cure?

sick of crying

screaming

an so sick of lieing

why cant i stop

my mouth rules me now

things falling from my lips like rain from the sky

why why why

cant i stop these lies?

Answer 1

quite good except for a few spelling mistakes.moreover write something other than lies okay

Answer 2

wow! this really caught my attention. Though it is hard to understand you can see it very clearly. And are able to relate to it. I really like the ending

things falling from my lips like rain from the sky

why why why

cant i stop these lies?

that simile is so beautiful. Keep writing! I'd like to read more. If you want a site to get more opinions than here's a good online community poetry site.

www.best-love-poems.com

It's not just love poems it's really for any type there are 10 categories. hope this helps!!