So upset and confused?

Question

Hi all, i'm back again. Now i've a whole other problem. I got a bfp on the 7th august and miscarried on the 11/12th august at 5 weeks. Well to cut a long story short my husband is now thinking we should stop ttc as he cant make up his mind if he wants children or not. Before we married last year we had never really said if we did or didnt want children and then in april this year had decided we would try. Now he's saying he rushed into making that decision and wants time to think if he does/doesnt want children. I kept asking him if he had made his decision after like a month and the latest update is he hasnt. I dont know what to do. I desperately want a child of my own and if he decides he doesnt what do i do? We've been together since we were 17 and i dont know what to do. Any advice would be great. I'm just so upset right now

Answer 1

I'm so very sorry for your loss, I hope your recovery is a swift one.  Unfortunatley the hormones in your body are not helping you at the moment.  Your hubby needs to be a little more sensitive for now.

I can sympathize how you are feeling.  As important as it is to make a decision together about having a child, you need to make your husband understand how very important it is to you, to have a baby.  Only after discussing it will you know how he really feels, he may just need a little time to get used to the idea, he could even be trying to get over your recent loss.

I'm not sure of your age and if your hubby has children from a previous relationship, but you must make sure he knows how you feel.  It will be easier to then decide together what you should do.

I hope and pray that your hubby will have a change of heart and you both will be holding a bundle of joy very soon!  Good Luck

Answer 2

First off big (((Hugs))) for you darl, have you really explained exactly how you are feeling to your husband? Even at the best of times we may think they know how we are feeling but truth is 99% of the time they are totally clueless even when we're sure we've explained things to them.. It seems probable to me that your hubby is just grieving over your loss as well and atm is having trouble with the thought of ttc again, You really need to sit down with him and calmly explain just how much ttc again means to you, and try to figure out what he is feeling too of course, his change of tune is more then likely out of fear or being hurt and disappointment again both for himself and to have to watch you go through the pain, it no doubt scared him to see you upset over the loss you just suffered as our men just don't know what to say or what to do when it happens when they want to protect us from hurt and pain but with something like this noone can really do anythingand to feel that useless men just don't handle that well. Talk to him hun communication is the key... good luck darl

(((Hugs)))

Answer 3

Maybe he is just emotional from the loss of the pregnancy.  I'd give it a couple of months (you shouldn't get pregnant right away again anyhow) and let things calm down.  He'll probably change his mind when he sees how much you want a baby. Give it time!  Good luck to you!

Answer 4

you know it sounds like he's upset about you miscarrying. just give him time right now. Pretty soon he will get the baby bug too but he is just scared. Hope this helps.  

Answer 5

I'm Sorry For Your Lost...

Your Husband My Just Be Very Hurt and Emotional About The Lost Of You'll Baby. Right Just Comfort Your Husband Deep Down He Many Be Hurting..and In A Couple Of Weeks or When U Think Is Best Try Talking To Him About Your Feelings

I hope all is well in your household....

baby dust to you

Answer 6

I would say give it a few months then talk about it again....... Could you really live with yourself if he were to say no all together? You dont want to end up like some of my friends and del. go off the pill or pin pricking the condom so they dont have a choice and get trapped... If he were still to say no in 2 years, i would be asking myself if he was really the right person to be with~   In saying that, i just think hes looking out for you, doesnt want u to get upset again if things dont work out. GIVE IT 3 MONTHS or so then ask and discuss it.. baby dust to you **********