So what do you guys think of my 8th grade graduation speech?

Question

Fellow Students, Friends.

Congratulations! We are sitting here tonight not because we are ending middle school, but because our wonderful teachers have helped to ready us for the world that awaits our intelligent class. And now it is our time to face it. Each year of school is just apart of your life. It can be a good part or bad part, but it is determined on what you want to make it. Hopefully I can speak for all of you, that these past two years, here at Royal Spring, were outstanding! We had great teachers that encouraged us to do our best no matter what. We have had our good times and our bad, but from being split up into two middle schools we came together as one innovated family. As we make our way into high school lets not forget our special middle school memories, but why not add to them. So I would like to leave you all with a quote from Dr. Seuss: "Do not cry because it's over. Smile because it happened

^^^^^thats the speech^^^^^^^

Answer 1

Good job, your class will really connect with it.

Answer 2

I like the last part.  Remember that WHO refers to your teachers, not THAT.  (We had great teachers WHO...)

It might sound better to say "each year of school is another part of our lives. "

You lost me with "why not add to them."  How about AS we make our way into the next level of our education, high school, let us not forget our special middle school memories and begin to add to them."

The Dr. Seuss quote is a good one.  Keep it.

Remember to address at the beginning: Principal, faculty, students, parents and friends...don't forget anyone. Remember who your audience is. Most important person FIRST.

Welcome to high school!

Good overall speech. Go for it. You'll do a great job! Good luck.

Answer 3

Hi Tara,  I really like what you have done.  I think your Seuss quote is great.  I see certain things that I would suggest to my own 8th grade students.  I would be making suggestions for them to work through but I really don't have the luxury of working that way with you.  Let me show you changes that I would explore with them,  but don't use anything that seems to be a false choice for you.  If you want to email me, I would be glad to discuss with you which changes I think are essential.

The following seems to me to say what you wan't to say.  I only mean to give guidence.  I hope you don't feel that I'm rewriting you speech.

We are here tonight not simply because we have completed middle school, but also, because our wonderful teachers have helped prepare us for the world that awaits our extraordanry class.

Each year of school is a precious part of our lives.  And each one of us is called upon to determine the value and richness of each year through the choices we make and the effort we apply.  

Hopefully I speak for all of you when I say that the past two years, here at Royal Spring, have been outstanding!  We had great teachers who encouraged us to do our best, and inspired us to learn and grow.  We had, both, good times and bad, but even after being divided into two middle schools, we came together as one innovative family.

As we make our way through high school, let us not forget our special middle school memories, even while we create new ones.  Of course, we are excited about growing up and moving on, still, for many of us, it is sad that the time has come to leave behind Royal Spring and this part of our lives.  So I leave all of you with a quote from Dr. Seuss:  "Do not cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened.

whether in my words or yours,  I think your thoughts express just the right sentaments.  Good for you.

Michael