Social Anxiety Disorder?? ?

Question

I'm not sure wether I have Social Anxiety Disorder. I've looked into it and done some online tests, but I can't work up the courage to tell any friends or family.

I'm painfullyyyyy shy at school, and people make comments on it alllllllll the time, that people just assume I can't talk or something.

I have friends, but not as many as I used to have, as I'm too shy to work up the courage to meet anyone new. Whenever my friends invite me to festivals or peoples houses, I always decline because I know I'll be in a social enviroment, and I'm scared of embarressing myself. I don't even like buying things in shops incase I have to talk to the people at the tills.

I can answer the door, but I don't like talking on the phone, because I'm scared of arkward silences.

I hatehatehate public speaking like class presentations, and I hate being centre of attention.

I hate starting conversations, and my voice is always shaky when I talk to somebody I don't know that well.

The thing is, I'm absoloutley fine when I'm at home, but completely different in school. On all my school reports, teachers have even made comments on my shyness.

I don't want to tell my parents how I'm feeling because I'm scared they'll think I'm being dramatic, and they won't believe me.

Please don't call me an emo or whatever, because if you haven't experienced this, then you really have no idea how I'm feeling.

Please let me know I'm not the only one!

xx

p.s I 'm sorry if this was abit long!

Answer 1

You are definately not the only one going through this, and to me it does sound more than shyness.  You could very well have social anxiety disorder.  You shouldn't be ashamed to tell your parents about it.  What doesn't make sense to me is if you are at school with friends wouldn't your friends comment or something about why you never talk, and don't your parents have some clue?  Or do they just think you are shy?  Well anyway, to get a proper diagnosis you'd have to go to a doctor, but it does sound like you have social phobia.  Don't be afraid to mention it.  If it is ruining your life than you really need to tell someone to get help.

Answer 2

I had the same problem, I find it helps to try to increase self confidence. Usually it comes with age but you can work on it by focusing on your strengths and starting to integrate yourself into society slowly. You'll probably grow out of it but good luck anyway, and don't worry I was a lot worse than you.

Answer 3

I used to have the same thing when I was little, like in grade school. I refused to talk to anyone and not only did the other kids think I was a mute, so did my teachers. my parents didn't believe what my teachers said about me not talking, but this page might help you like it helped me. I still show some signs of the disorder, because I refuse to talk in class. I'm dead silent always and I when i'm called on in class i don't answer. Good luck.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxi...

Ta ta,

C.R.

Answer 4

Oh my GO!!! You sound exactly like me and I thought I just had interesting quirks. I can't answer the door, talk on the phone with acquaintances or customer service, and I always make a friend go in with me when I buy something. I never talk in class either and I'm a sophomore in college so class is SO boring. I hate being the center of attention as well unless I know what I'm doing. I would definitely sit your parents down and tell them you think something is wrong and if they patronize you or make fun you for it, get mad! Tell them you're serious and that you want help or some way to make it better! My parents are the same way and don't believe me if I try and talk to them rationally so that's what I have to do to make them listen. Maybe you can think of ways to be prepared when you do meet people, like make a business card or something with all your contact info on it so that way when you meet people you can just say "it was great meeting you! I'd definitely like to hang out sometime." and just hand them your card. Just make jokes about your shyness.

The main thing you can take refuge in is the spotlight theory. People are way too wrapped up in themselves to notice what's going on with you and how you're acting, and if they DO then they need a life and it's not your problem :) Honestly though, people aren't as bad as you think...they're pretty understanding so it may just be your class. Hope I helped somewhat, e-mail me if you have any more questions!

Answer 5

Get a girlfriend.

Problem solved.

Answer 6

You sound exactly like me when I was in high school/secondary school. I was shy beyond belief and really struggled with it. I went to an all girls school which I hated, and it wasn't until 6th form (last 2 years of school) when I transferred to a mixed school that I gained a bit of confidence. I'm 22 now and find talking to people a lot easier, and i've had times when i've been incredibly social and could go out and meet new people whenever. But then I have other times (like now unfortunately) where my confidence hits a low point and I find it hard to go out and talk to people again. Probably down to the fact that i've been unable to find a job for several months, but it should sort out soon I hope.

Point being... hang in there. You're definately not* alone with this. Try talking to your parents about it, I know talking to my mum about my problems and having them both aware of it definately helped me. Give it time, and you'll find yourself eventually just like I did. Sure, I forget every now and then but I have to understand that confidence IS inside me, I just have to believe in it. Good luck, and remember that you are just as important as everybody else :)

Answer 7

What you have is not a disorder it is just good old breaking the ice. Your trying to talk to too many people at one time. Just try talking to one person you may feel comfortable with and give it your best shot. Also tell your parenents I know they'll understand and you do  feel comfortable with them.

Answer 8

Please tell your parents. I used to be painfully shy, I still can't use a phone or go into a store without a friend. You're definitely not alone. Counseling has helped me build up my self esteem and courage, so I can not be so shy anymore.

I also started forcing myself to be social. I started with online forums. Then worked up the courage to say something zany and out of character to a friend. Maybe your friends can introduce you to their friends? If you have lunch in a cafeteria, try sitting at a new table and say something, anything to the person across from you. It will be awkward, but by taking baby steps, you will build yourself up enough that you learn how to deal with social situations.

Answer 9

You definitely aren't alone.. I also suffer from social anxiety disorder, and it seems to be getting worse as I get older.. It started when I was 14, and I'm now 25...

For a while it was so bad, I was on alot of different medications to try and get rid of my problems.. for a while it helped, then I just became immune to the drugs.. (If you can beat it without medication, I'd definitely recommend that)

The first thing that you need to do is talk to your parents. If you cant do that, talk to the guidance councillor at your school, they will be able to point you in the right direction, maybe even set up a meeting with your parents...

Self confidence is HUGE! if you are not confident with your self, or have low self esteem, it makes it that much harder to be social, cause you think people are judging your every move..

Work on your confidence!

Treat this problem SOON, don't let it build up cause It only gets harder to treat!!!

I'd recommend you read  this book... I think it would definatly help you!   "Painfully Shy: How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life"

Answer 10

It sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder to me.  I'm like that, too, although not as bad as when I was your age.  Don't your parents notice anything different about your behavior in and out of the house?  If you want to see a counselor, you'll have to tell your parents, "I'd like to get some help so I can be less shy in school."  If they say "No" go to the library and read as many books as you can about your condition.  Find something that you're good at -- drawing, painting, dancing, writing, swimming, etc, and use that to gain some confidence in yourself.  You're not alone, many people feel the same way you do.

Answer 11

Though I've never had it labeled as Social Anxiety Disorder (or anything) I had many of the same symptoms you described.  Several years ago my doctor had me start taking Paxil for depression and it is amazing how well it worked on my shyness too.  Before that I wouldn't have even been able to answer a question on line like this because I was too afraid.  Now I work as a Customer Service Rep. and people can't get me to shut up!  Just look back at how many questions I've answered here in the three days I've been a member!  

Answer 12

Its about time you spoke with your parents about your problem, theyll believe you because its on your school reports.  Then see if you can get a referral to a counsellor because if allowed to get worse you may end up with no friends and isolated.

Take it one day and one hour at a time.  Say hello to everyone that you meet, accept invites to festivals and people's houses, go window shopping, talk more on the phone, practice public speaking in front of a mirror, and learn how to start conversations by listening to your friends talking.

Answer 13

Classic social anxiety which is easy to treat ! Talk to your parent. Get to a doctor. Take your life back.