Social Disorder help!!?

Question

I have been dealing with this problem for the last 4 years. When I'm around crowds I feel nervous sometimes. Or when my friends call me I think they want to hang out so I don't answer the phone in fear they may want to.Or I make things up to look like I have plans.It's not I don't like them I just want to be alone. But at the same time I hate being alone.

I do go places like shopping etc, But I find my self home a lot. I do spend time with friends! But after while I feel like I want them to leave

I want to make new friends but I just don't feel like going out and meeting new ones, Almost like I forgot how. I think my problem may have been caused by my wife..

She would get mad if I did anything without her( go out to eat, go fishing with friends, go to the bar that kind of stuff. So now if i am asked by someone one if I have any plans I tell them I have to talk to my wife first, Otherwise If I do anything with out her she gets mad. what's happening to me what do I do? This has been going on way to long and I can't help it. I have turned into a hermit like person and it's just not me

Answer 1

Well, your wife may be controlling, but you have to give her permission to control you.  You should not give in just to make things smooth, because as you see, they are not smooth.   How long have you been married?  Have you thought about counselling?  It can really help.

Answer 2

you refer to your wife as if she is quite separate from you.

i presume you got married to be together and enjoy stuff together and that your friends and her friends become friends of you both.

of course you should have some time of individual interests, but maybe you have not embraced the togetherness of the relationship, and your wife feels insecure and therefore tries to 'control' you.

you need to talk to each other. marriage takes lots and lots of adjustment!

bon chance!

Answer 3

sound like your living with a narcissistic wife GET OUT, they will drain the life and happiness out of you.

Until you are left just as you described alone but not alone.

I know i lived with one for years i always thought it was me until a friend pointed a few things out, And guess what he's still the same 15 years on.

My advice just get out .