Socialising?

Question

hi, everybody, i want to know how to socialise or improve my socialising skills. i want to know how i can gain the courage to meet new people , talk to people (especially ladies), and make friends. I'm not anti-social but it's just that it's hard for me to socialise 'coz i'm shy. Can you people help me? i fear that if i don't know how to socialise, someone i might like might not know i'm even there and i hate keeping feelings bottled up inside. Also if you have personal Accounts, anecdotes, something that happened to you, that would be great as well!

Thank you very much for helping me!

Peace!!!

Answer 1

keep up with the news, current events in your area, that gives you something to talk about. Examine yourself in a mirror, give simple honest appraisal of what you see in mirror.

For example, I was bad at meeting people when I was 17. I went to my bathroom, looked in mirror, started with my hair. Did I like it the way it was?  Is mousey brown really a good color? IF not, what can I do to fix it? Next came eyes. I decided that I have nice eyes. I had a good Irish nose, but I have chicken lips (thin). not like Julia Roberts, but when I smiled into the mirror I decided it was still an okay smile. So if I can say that I look rather human, just like everyone else, that made it easier. And IF I had some news to talk about, I wouldn't be seen as stupid.  For example, did you know that the spaceship Discovery just took Buzz Lightyear to the spacestation?  What a funny way to open a conversation. Buzz with be up there working on the spacestation for six months just like a real astronaut.  How cool.  So those two things, assessing your appearance, changing what's necessary and keeping up on funny news can help you socialize.

Answer 2

I was the shyest person ever growing up. I could go a whole day at school without saying a word. It became my personality: "the shy girl". I just never knew what to say or do around other people.

Not anymore! I'm sometimes extroverted, sometimes introverted, it depends who I'm around. But I never describe myself as shy - because that's not how I feel anymore.

You grow out of shyness as you grow up. The more experience you have of life, the more you realise that everyone else is blagging it too and there is nothing wrong with the way you do things!

My advice is to find your own personality, let it develop, and pursue your own interests. Once you gain confidence in yourself and raise your self-esteem, you will not have an issue with shyness. You say you are not anti-social so I have every belief that you will grow out of it naturally. Just learn that you don't have to get along with everyone - only the people you actually like! Ask them questions, that's the broadest advice I can give. Apparently people like talking about themselves (providing they aren't "shy" LOL). Then you will have a connection and lots of things to talk about. When you have a few friends you feel comfortable around, you will never tarnish yourself with the "shy brush" again. Good luck!

Answer 3

i understand what you are saying, here are some things i did to socialize better:

start small, just say " good morning" or a simple smile " hi" when you see people. Try and say this to every 5 people you see when you start your day. . .soon you will say it to just about everyone you see. This is a good way to start.Make sure your making eye contact but don't scare them and lo ok deep into their eyes. . .make like a U around their face look at their eye lips nose but try not to look directly in their eyes the entiretime. open up a little, when you meet someone , say" hi how are you doing" or compliment what they are doing or wearing, trust me this will take time but in time you will be alittle social butterfly. . Good luck. . .

Answer 4

It might help to start small, like making small talk with co-workers or other acquaintances.  You might also want to join a club that is based on a hobby you like to do.  That way, you'll be relaxed as you are doing something you like to do and talking with people might not seem so overwhelming.

You can only learn to socialize by practice.  There are some common denominators for interacting with people, which can be learned quite easily.

Answer 5

Here are some good ways to socialise;

1. Join a club, a weekend  or evening class in your community. Great way to meet people and find common intrests with people.

2. Find a bar with people your own age, have a few drinks, alcohol does wonders for "opening" you up to meeting new people, as long as you don't become dependent on it!

3. Join a church or relgious group that you might be affiliated with. Get involved with the singles group there.

4.  Get to know someone on the internet than meet up somewhere. You will already know a lot about them, so it will be a good start!