Socialization?

Question

I keep seeing so many comments about homeschooled kids "lacking" in social skills. I am just wondering if anyone else has considered that maybe what outsiders are perceiving as lacking, could just be that child choosing not to socialize with certain people based on how they see them act.

Even when my kids were in public school, they chose not to interact with certain people. In public schools, that is just perceived as normal. But for some reason, for homeschoolers it is perceived as lacking in social skills.

Answer 1

I believe many people have a warped view of what socializied means.  They are under the impression that if a child does not like to spend time with certain other kids that they have no social skill.  I think it's a wonderful thing if a child chooses thier friends carefully on how they act.  It means you are raising a mature child who can think for him or her self.

Many people don't realise how many more oppertunities homeschoolers have.  (Besides the joy of going to a theater in the afternoon on opening day of a movie.)  We get to volunteer and take classes about things we love to do.  We get to learn more through "real life" much more so than reading text books all day in a class room with kids you don't like.

I would suggest that every child spends time with other kids. Not every day, just a couple times a week. Let them do things the love.  They will learn and develop needed social skills.

Answer 2

They say that because they want to make home schooling illegal. They don’t like the fact that we teach our children that God created the world, and not evolution, they have already made home schooling illegal in some countries. †

Answer 3

All of the above, I have found that home schooled children/young adults, as well as a small percentage of conventional schooled youngsters, are often much more discerning, and mature, giving the impression that they do not "fit in".

This however is not a lack of socialization skills, they are just more mature in their level of socialization skills.

Answer 4

I think homeschoolers are considered "socially retarded" because they are typically more mature than their peers.

Answer 5

It is a sheltered environment, and in the real world sometimes you have to socialize/ work with people whom you would rather not like to socialize with. How do they learn to handle these situations if they are sheltered?

Answer 6

That is true

Plus you have to ask

ARE YOU IN SCHOOL TO SOCIALIZE or the LEARN

Answer 7

I think the negative comments people make about kids who are homeschooled (whether it be about socialization or something else) is due to their own ignorance.  People making those comments often do not have any experience with homeschooling and often do not even know any homeschool families.

Answer 8

I homeschool my kids and they don't lack social skills. I make sure that they do things that they like and in return they find people they have something in common with.  In public school you force these kids to socialize with people they would choose to have nothing to do with. The other kids then look for things wrong with the other kids.  I have met a few homeschooling moms that do fit the bill of keeping their kids isolated but for the most part homeschooled kids have better socialization skills than most adults that went through the public school system.

Answer 9

Being an English major, I tend to get annoyed by the use of the word "socialization" when people mean socialize.  When they ask me, "What about socialization?" I respond, "What about it?"  

"I don't want my child to learn to be a socialist.  That is what socialization means and that is what is happening in the public schools where post modernism reigns supreme."

Then while the poor chaps are trying to figure out what I just said, I tell them to take a good look at my poor undersocialized kids.  One is tapping on my arm and hoping I will stop talking to the nice stranger so that she can have a turn.  One is introducing himself to the quiet child beside the homeschooling dissentor and trying to draw him out of his shell.  One is singing loudly to try to get the attention of the person with whom his older brother is talking.  The other two are at a friend's house already.  

Socialization is the process of making someone into a socialist.

Socializing is the act of communicating with others.

When public schools print in newsletters to our community that they are doing all they can to provide proper socialization, I wonder if they are diliberate in the word they use.  I can't help but think they know exactly what they wrote and are relying on the stupidty of the general public.

Let's remind those who complain about home schooled children what "socialization" truly means.  I, for one, want socialized children; children who can relate to people of all ages and types.  I do not want children who are inundated with socialist propaganda and post modern hype.

Answer 10

u'r right, homeschooled kids may not neccessarily mean "lacking in social skills" rather, i tink homeschooled kids are lacking in the OPPORTUNITIES for social interaction.

think of it this way, social skills can be facilitated and developed when there are ample of opportunities for social interactions (e.g. schools). and through these interactions with others, they actually practice and hone their social skills. the opportunities in school motivates them to adapt socially. for example, children learn to make friends and get along when teacher request for them to form groups and complete a group project.

for children who are passive and not socially adaptable, homeschooling put them in a disadvantage becos there are little opportunities to interact with others (esp peers) meaningfully. if they are already lacking in initiative to interact, they will benefit if they are placed in environment with ample opportunities. even if they face rejections, it is still a lesson to learn and refine their social skills. therefore, they should not be deprived of a conducive environment.

Answer 11

Many people simply do not understand homeschooling.  They also do not understand socialization.  You are right in that they will assume your shy/quiet child is not socialized.  It is a fallacy but one that is commonly accepted.  Yes, public school has many kids their own ages that they can play with.  But, homeschool kids get to socialize with people of all ages.  We give them more opportunities to get out there in the real world.  Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to shelter our kids for the time being.  He has time to grow and learn the positives before being introduced to the negatives and I will be there to teach him my way.  I have my child involved in playdates and sports and cooking classes.  He is probably more social than many other kids and also well behaved.  Funny thing is that when people meet him, they assume he is in preschool because of how bright and well behaved he is.  Okay, I'm off my soap box. =)

Answer 12

Once people find out that you're homeschooled, they tend to assume you're sheltered. Nothing you can do to shake it. No matter how you act, you're apparently showing how deprived you are.

I don't really care anymore.