Software that can translate a japanese video?

Question

does anyone know of a software (that i can download from the internet)in which i can sort of "put a video on it" and it can translate a japanese video into english subs?

please? i need it for translating anime, i can't understand one word of that!

please and thank you! ^.~

Answer 1

Oh, no. No such thing exists. Machines ain't that smart yet, esp. for a complicated language like Japanese.

Wait for someone who put out a "fansub" version. That's all you can do.  

Answer 2

No such thing exists, even for written to written language, which is anything like as accurate as a professional (human!) interpreter, never mind adding the complexity of the spoken word to the mix.

Search "natural language processing" and you'll find nothing but research talk and toy examples.

Answer 3

hahaha you need alien super power software you human!