Soldiers, what goes on inside you, when you have to say good-bye to family, when deployed overseas?

Question

Still trying to pick your brains, Military. I intend to do my best to understand Troops, so will you help me to?

I appreciate you time, and answers. Thanks a lot!

Answer 1

It would take days to pen all the feelings, but here are a few my husband and I shared as we kissed for what might be our last time, dried my tears mingles with smiles to keep us both strong, as we said good-bye.

This is his answer for you: It's so close to death for yourself or your loved one that you can hardly separate the two. You don't know if you will ever see them again. It's like tearing your heart out. The future is so unknown and dark. But you know you are doing this for your loved ones near and far and for your country. So you let go of your wife's hand and walk away to....the unknown.    

Answer 2

It's pretty hard on your first deployment.. I was pretty numb to it on my second and third though... Something you get used to with time, but it still isn't a good feeling...

Answer 3

Well I suppose I would say that...well no I won't!  I'll put it on a more gut level.  You hug your children and manfully try to hold back the tears.  Then you kiss your spouse hoping that she doesn't see that you are close to tears while at the same time not recognizing the fact that she is doing her damnedest not to let her tears gush as well.  Meanwhile running through your mind, if you are human at any rate, are thoughts of all the special days you won't be at home for and will miss and the possibility that you may not ever see them again.  And at least your wife has also had that thought.  Put in a nut shell, such a parting can be and sometimes is 'h**l on Earth'.  But Soldiers do it every day in a thousand cities all over our country.  Supermen???...no, just Daddy or Hubby with a job to do that no one else wants to tackle.  Well maybe they are supermen at that.  All I know is that my hat is off to each and everyone of them.  Sorry, you asked, I answered from the heart and gut.  You see, been there and done it, more than once.  Good luck to you.

ADDITIONAL:  Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.  It never gets any easier at all no matter how many times you do it!

Answer 4

It never gets easy. You do your best to make the kids and your

wife feel loved. You make sure you have done all you can for them

to be comfortable with daily life activities while your gone.

Depending on the ages of the Children, You can sometimes

handle the ones differently than the little ones. There the toughest.

But you get through it.  

Answer 5

You put your heart and emotions in a box. And you leave it with

those you love for Safe Keeping.  

Answer 6

A soldier joins as a volunteer under contract to the government, giving up some Independence, and subject to orders he or she would not obey at home.Military people may love thier family, but they love their country and to some extent the men/ women they serve with. You may not understand how powerful an oath is, and a commitment to this nation, but a warrior does.There is no second guessing a situation, and most servicemen are ready and willing to practice the training they have had.There is always the fact that they will miss the family and friends, and few want to leave the conforts, but there is an almost religious drive that causes them to put the personal aside and obey orders. They go for you and your safety, and the security of the nation.As a side note , not all servicemen feel this and are quickly culled from the herd.The rest are hero's of this nation. some will die, some will die to protect their buddies and fellow soldiers. There are no words to describe the commitment these young men and women feel and you will only know if you serve your country.

Answer 7

In the Marines, you say, To h**l with it, I have a job to do, life will go on back home and they are all safe, so let's focus on what I am doing and getting back home. All the other stuff gets pushed out of your brain when you leave the wire, or you get complacent and get yourself or someone killed.

Answer 8

It's impossible to fully describe an event like this.  A wife, saying goodbye, perhaps for the last time, to the person that they love more than anything in the world, knowing that at best they will see them in a far distant 7 months, and at worst they will never see them again.  Raising kids alone on a lance corporal's salary.  Facing a big, scary world alone for the first time in perhaps years.  Never knowing where exactly your husband is.  Having your heart jump every time you see a uniform knowing that bad news always comes in uniform.  Perhaps blaming the authorities of the country you serve depending on whether you believe in the cause your other is fighting for.

A husband, saying goodbye to his wife, possibly more scared of what could happen to her than what could happen to him.  He can't be there to protect her.  Maybe she will be the victim of a home invasion or sexual assault when he's gone and he won't be there for her.  Or worse, maybe she'll cheat on him.  Maybe she'll decide she doesn't have the guts for the life of a military wife and leave him.  Maybe she'll use her general power of attorney and sell his Porsche for 700 dollars.  Maybe he'll get his face blown off or be burned beyond recognition and she won't be able to handle his return, the years of rehabilitation, the complete change in lifestyle.

These things aren't really thought about the moment they part, all they can think about is how much they are going to miss each other and how long 7 months is.  But the gravity of things starts kicking in about a month into a deployment and often get much worse before they get better.

These thoughts were compiled from many different servicemembers and their spouses.  Hope they helped.