Some good laughable jokes?

Question

Ok so I'm very bored and want to laugh a bit.Can you post some jokes please?Thx :)

Answer 1

PLZ GO TO LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES=SOOOOOO  SUPER FUNNY!!!!

Answer 2

yo mama so fat that when she jumped for joy.... she got stuck!

yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light he asked her to move out of the way!

yo mama so fat that when she went on the roof there was a solar eclipse

yo mama so stoopid that she paid for a free sample

what do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you??

nacho cheese!!!

Answer 3

there were 2 people in a mental hostpital

and one name was jane and the other was mike

one day mike decied to go drown himself

by jumping in the pool

so he jumpe in the pool

then jane saw him drowing and saved him

the next day the nurse came

in janes room and said

"ok i have some good news and some bad news

which would you like to hear first?"

then jane said

"good"

the nurse said

"the good news is that you be realsed from the mental hospital in 2 weeks the bad neews is that your freind mike hung himself last night and died"

then jane said

"oh he didnt hang himself i put him up there to dry"

Answer 4

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Joke...

answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

so this guy walks into a bar.

and he sits down, and takes a 12 unch pianisr out of his pocket,, and puts it on the counter.

So the bartender looks over, and goes

"hey, where'd you get that 12 inch pianist?"

and they guy goes

"Oh, wel there a geenie outside, i thnk you can still cacth him"

so the bartender goes out side, and sees the geenie.

and he goes

"hey, i want a million bucks"

and the geenie gives him

a million ducks

so, the bartender, walks back into the bar, all mad and says to the guy

"that geenie is StUPId, i asked 4 million bucks, and he gave me a million ducks!!what the h**l am i supposed to do with a million ducks??

and the guy replies

"yeah i know. what the h**l am i supposed to do with a 12 inch pianist?? i asked for a 12 inch p***s!

Answer 6

yo momma so ugly, when she went to the "whos the ugliest?" contest, the manager said, "no professionls!"

2. what did the snail say while riding on top of the turtle?

answer: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Answer 7

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.

"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"

"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.

Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.

"

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please.

"

So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set.

"  

Answer 8

    Bush and Moses

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair.

The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man continued to peruse the ceiling. George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses?"

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "YES, I AM!"

George W. asked him why he was so uppity and had taken so long to answer him.

The man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up stuck in a desert for forty years!

Answer 9

A  three legged dog walks in a bar and says "I`m looking for the man that shot my paw" LOL I dont know why but that makes me laugh.