Some help here please!?

Question

My mom died on July 13th. I'm an only child and I have been having a really hard time dealing with it. Tonight has been really hard. I can't stop thinking about killing myself so I can be with her again. No one around me seems to understand the pain I'm going through. and its not just losing mom either. I'm in physical pain constantly and I am tired of it. I never have any energy. I have a heart condition ( POTS) that causes severe dizzy spells and I can't stand that much longer, I can't do much because of the fear of a dizzy spell leading to a fainting spell. ( which has happened several times already. which is why I have to have my cell phone charged and on me at all times when left alone.) anyway, I'm just tired of this life and am struggling to hold on. What the h**l should I do??? should I be in the hospital again? I know you'll all bring up my user name. I'm engaged and my wedding is in 6 1/2 weeks. Even that is bringing me no joy anymore. I still love my fiancee with all of whats left of my heart and soul, but I'm unhappy. I don't want to hurt him but I can't go on either. Help, please!

Answer 1

Suicide isn't the answer. It never is, its just the quicker way out. Besides what would happen to your fiance? He'd be destroyed.

I'm not a suicidal person in anyway, I never have been but multiple friends of mine have been. I can't tell you I've been there or how I've fixed it. All I can say is, people out there care for you. More than you'll ever know. If I knew you I could probably start listing them. Go to your fiance, talk to him. When you start feeling down just be honest, tell him you just need him to cheer you up. People out there love you and would probably be crushed without you. Hope that helps a little.

And congrats on the wedding!

Answer 2

First, let me offer my sympathy for your struggles right now.  Finding your way through the grieving process can be difficult at best, and seemingly impossible at times.  Be gentle with yourself.  Working with a grief counselor might be helpful.  Most cities have a crisis number you can call when you are feeling suicidal. It might be a good idea to locate that number and keep it handy...program it into your cell phone even.  

Losing  a loved one is so hard to get through.  And in the process of 'getting through it', there is much pain to endure.  That is as natural as rain.  Allow yourself to feel the loss, the hurt.  These are real emotions.  July 13th is not that long ago.  Give yourself the gift of time...to grieve, to miss her, to remember her, to find your balance.   It does take time.  And there is no magic number of days to the process...it is different for everyone.  It does get easier, but there is no instant fix for the pain you are feeling right now.  Look for a support group, sometimes it is helpful to be with folks who are going through similiar experiences.  

A parting thought....the best we can do for the loved ones we have lost through death is to live the life we have to the fullest.

Answer 3

Im so sorry that you lost your mother.  I am sure that she would want you to be happy and to continue on with the wedding as she would have loved to have been there to share your special day with your new husband and to celebrate with so many others would have delighted her.  Please reconsider the idea of killing yourself.  Your fiance deserves to have a happy and loving wife too and would miss you if you were to leave him.

Answer 4

Talk to him about it. O and read books and do lots of writing.. sorry I'm a little boy, but i like to draw and write when i cants sees my mommy any more. I loove people so donttt hurt you sewwf. night night friend

Answer 5

My heart goes out to you, dear lady, and I believe I can understand how you feel, having been in a similar situation myself. I think the best course of action is one of "accommodation".

You have a heart condition which is very distressing, and you are taking action to combat it. You must, however, accept its limitations, and live within them. I presume that your fiance knows of this illness, and he still loves you. That is a huge positive.

Your mom has died, and left you feeling lonely, betrayed, and un-loved, and you appear to be suffering with a grief reaction, which seems to have caused a form of acute, intense depression.

Believe me, it will get better, over time. Live each moment for the joy it can bring, and find pleasure in small things - a hug, a kiss - these are things that will make you feel better.

I have struggled with suicide on many occasions, and it is those things that can make a real difference.

Despite your overwhelming problems, you'd be amazed at how much you have to live for.

Answer 6

hi,let me congratulate you that you will get married soon,well,someday or the other,we all have to face death,but there is no need to worry about that,you really feel that you miss your mom but think for a while,isn't she there in your smile,isn't she there in your LOVE,MOTHER is nothing but her child after she leaves this world so love your life and live happily that your mom is always there with you,may not be present physically,but she is in 'YOU' buddy

          Now,go and consult a doctor,get your treatment done and be happy and make your fiancee happy by making him feel your love always..................bye,keep smiling

Answer 7

The mood will pass.  In life things go up and down.  See what  you can do to improve you health,  Don't depend on doctors.  Take control of your own life, If  you are tired of it then something has to change. A death is hard, but it will get easier with time.  I'm sure your mom would want you to live life to its fullest and be happy.  Try to find a way.

Answer 8

You know that you should be in the hospital if you are asking. You put it off because of the pressure of life and not wanting to let your fiancee down but let me tell you as someone with experience it seems pretty stupid you were worried about messing up someones life or too busy to get help when you wake up in the hospital after you reach the breaking point and tried to throw it all away. You have to take care of yourself. If you are thinking you could die then you shouldn't care what effects getting help will have. Think about it really. I'm sorry your life is so hard right now but 1.) you prob only get one and once your dead thats it, no more life, do you think once you are dead for eternity that you will regret giving up on your only chance at life because you couldn't wait what will relative;y seem a minuscule time till you die naturally anyways? 2) Do you think it would make your mom feel better or worse to have the child she loves and brought into the world and has such great hopes for to have her life cut short? You will always miss your mom but you'll be with her one day forever regardless, and you won't always feel as hopeless as you do right now. Please tell someone what you are thinking and ask for serious help, you need a break right now but not from this world.