My mom is a great mom, to rid anyone from thinking this is gonna be a rant about how mean she is to me.
The problem is my mom doesn't take care of herself. We don't have any money problems so I don't see why she is the way she is. She never buys herself new clothes, quality makeup, perfumes, or anything she likes. Every time I tell her to get something I see her eying up she says there's other things the money should go to. As if we're hard on cash. So I opt to put clothes back that equal up to same amount as say a pair of pants she wants and she still refuses until I say I'm not getting anything if she doesn't get them.
She make $13.50 an hour and gets around $600-$700 depending on the hours and my step dad works for a steel mill and makes at least $900 a week. However he's the type who act like we're going bankrupt even though he's loaded and we're financial fine unless its something he want. So when I tried to get him to take her shopping I got blown off with a "I pay the bills" speech.
I recently got my drivers license and 2 jobs. One with set hours my best friend got me at her dads restaurant and the other when they call me when they need me with my oldest brother. I get around $500 depending on the 2nd job but I put at least $200 away because after high school I want to study abroad in Europe. I got the jobs partly because I have expensive taste [not purposely, I'm not "it has to be name brand" i just have the luck of liking something without looking at the price tag and it turns out to expensive] and partly so my mom wont have to buy it for me. Now I lie to my mom. When I go shopping with friends I'll buy a couple things I'd think she'd like [Everyone knows I wear what I like so its not like I cause any suspicion] and then tell her I thought they'd shrink in the wash but now they're too big and she can have them. Or when I buy makeup I buy 2 of each, hide one and tell here that they're the old ones and I bought new makeup. With perfume I will say something like "i'm tired of this smell".
Now my mom takes this as me being shallow and ungrateful and constantly nags on me about how I need to learn the value of a dollar and stop being superficial. I still do it even though now we argue and tell her if she doesn't take it it's going in the trash because I know she is not a wasteful person, but now she thinks I am.
Ever sense I've been doing this I've noticed she seems to take more pride in the way she looks and seems more positive about herself. She's been through a lot with my real dad and her parents so I figure she deserves it and its worth her starting to not like me so much.
It does bother me though that she thinks of me this way and no matter what I tell her she wont indulge a little on things she wants. I don’t want my mom to not like me but I also don’t want her to go back to not liking herself.
I know this was long, but anyone have some advice?
Thanks
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