Some ideas to make this fantasy story more original?

Question

I'm writing ANOTHER fantasy story that takes place back in the medieval times. There is a fourteen-year-old maiden named Magdalin (Maggie) who lives in a kingdom called Esperalda, and she's tired of her father always telling her that women are only there to clean and cook for their husbands. After her mother dies, Maggie takes this is a que to run away from home. She stays with her best friend Clarence for the first week for some help and support. The main reason for her departure is because she wants freedom, and also because she wants to find a husband, but one who is sweet kind and down-to-earth and won't make her do all the work. She thinks she finds the right guy in the town she travels to, but it turns out he just wanted her for her money. She then discovers that her heart will lead her back home to Esperalda to marry Clarence. Feedback, please, and some ideas to make it more original?????

Answer 1

I think it's wonderful that you are writing a story. This story does not sound like a fantasy story, rather, it sounds like a historical romance novel!

I love historical romances, btw.

I think you need to have Clarence be worried about her so he goes on her journey with her to help her and keep her safe. Then she realizes that her true love was under her nose all this time...

And they live happily ever after.

Answer 2

Other than the fact that this story is set in an imaginary kingdom, I don't see any fantasy elements, here.

Is Magdalin's (Mary Magdalene?  Which opens up a whole other set of questions.) only problem that she doesn't want to be treated as a maid by her future husband?  Pardon me, but, ho-hum.  How much more run-of-the-mill can you get?  This is not a fantasy theme or plot.  It sounds like a made-for-television After School Special.  Teen-age angst, poor little rich girl ("he just wanted her for her money"), and all that.

If you want to write Fantasy, then go for it.  There is usually magic in a fantasy story.  Fantasy plots usually revolve around quests a little less mundane than looking for a sensitive husband.

What it sounds like to me is that YOU are working through some personal "daddy" issues, and I think that's what you really want to write about.  I think this whole "fantasy" idea is just your escape from your real world, and not what is really driving you.

Confront your real issues and write about those, openly and honestly.  I think if you do that, your writing will be much more real and compelling than half-heartedly believing you are going to write "fantasy".

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