Some people think that international adoptive parents are criminals...?

Question

for adopting their children. Do you agree with that? Why/why not?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, because adoption is highly profitable for agencies and facilitators, those who stand to profit will break the law if they can.  It happens in both domestic and international adoptions.  Victims include ALL members of the so-called triad.  I think we are just seeing the tip of the iceberg with regards to adoption fraud in some countries where adoption is/was not well regulated.

I do not think that international adoptive parents are criminals.  I do think that most turn a blind eye to adoption corruption in their desperation for a child and are too easily led away from objectivity when evaluating the ethics of adoption in certain countries.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. I myself make no excuses for wanting a family someday. I'm open to any type of adoption, done ethically. (meaning, I'm open to domestic, infant, international, older child, foster).  I feel no need to apologize for wanting a family, because I don't think it has to conflict with my (future) child's best interest. There are always children out there who need homes. And as I said many times before, if my mother hadn't "wanted" a family so badly, I wouldn't exist. If she hadn't "wanted" a little girl badly enough to determine not to stop with my older brother... if she hadn't "wanted" two children badly enough to try again after the heartbreak of miscarriage... If she'd given up before she got what she "wanted" to "complete" her family (a little girl) I wouldn't exist. Yeah.. selfish, selfish mom.. giving me life like that...

It's just a handful of people here who A) can't handle that their mother CHOSE to give them up for adoption, or B) people who's mothers were forced to give them up in an era that is long gone   who are so bitter that they feel the need to vilify Aparents and PAPs..

Where there's corruption in the industry, it needs to be dealt with. Where there's psycho people trying to adopt when they have no business being parents, they need to be dealt with too.. But trying to stereotype  all aparents, Paps, or even international adoption agencies, accomplishes nothing except making the person who's doing the stereotyping lose al credibility and look like a moron.

Mom2: You are accurate.. as I've said, one of my best friends is from India.. she went through most of her pregnancy there (Her husband and her came back to US about a month before her baby was born).. She told me about the law against determining gender. she said they'd do an ultrasound to see if the baby was okay, but they're not allowed to tell you if it's a boy or girl..

But she also told me, when I brought the subject up, that it's difficult to adopt from India.. She says the Indians will just string you along and try to get money out of you because you're a rich foriegner... She says many women abandon their children, but  once the child is potentially being adopted by an American, suddenly tons of people claiming to be family will be coming out of the walls, wanting money. She actually advised me not to try adopting from India because she said I'd get scammed. She said the corrupt people would rather get people to "sponsor" children so they can keep getting money off of a child, they try to not let them actually "go."

Answer 3

Ditto Gershom

A lot of times the aparents hearts are in the right place, but they are in "adoption is wonderful" fog and don't do thier research

Answer 4

I am wondering why you need to ask this question.  Has someone made you feel insecure about your own beliefs and actions?  I do not know all your motives for adopting as you did, but probably for the most part, you hoped to enrich the life of a child and enrich your own life.  You were  able to see a child of different race, ethnicity, culture, as not just part of your broad Human Family, but part of your very own personal family.  You respect differences and see them as gifts rather than obstacles.?

Some people adopt for motives that might be called questionable or selfish, and others adopt out of generosity, compassion, humanity,.  When you are totally clear that your motives are about serving the child's highest good, this question will not be a concern for you.

Answer 5

I don't agree because that is very stupid.

No person who is genuinely interested in the rare occurrence of unfair/immoral adoption practices would make such an irresponsible and senseless claim.  

Answer 6

I do not think international adoptive parents are criminals.  I think they were doing what they thought was best to build their families.

However, I personally, would not want to adopt a child unless it was proven to me he/she was a true orphan, either anonymously abandoned with no hope of finding the biological parents, or both biological parents were dead.  I also would consider adopting a child that was removed from a home due to severe abuse/neglect.

There is no doubt that the adoption practices in some countries are corrupt, and we need to not adopt from these places, I think our government should make it harder (yes I said harder!) to adopt internationally born children and bring them back to our country.  I do not know how to do this, but I think if it was harder to adopt a baby from another country the people who are just looking for the cheapest/easiest way to get a baby would stop adopting from the corrupt countries.  

I think if more people did the research I have done regarding international adoption, less people would adopt internationally, only because it is really hard to regulate what happens in other countries. There are women who are raped in order to supply babies for international adoption because it is "lucrative" to place a baby for international adoption.  I could go on and on, but I am just waking up so I am not thinking clearly.

Answer 7

I don't think you're a criminal, you've done it legally, however, I don't know if I could live with myself if I benefited of off someone else's poverty in order to full fill my own dreams of being called a mother.

The USA isn't better than third world countries, it just has more money.  

Answer 8

Identity thieves?  You betcha.

I believe it's morally reprehensible to take advantage of someone else's misfortune.  Maybe that's just Machiavellian...

Answer 9

I think that it would apply only if the child who was adopted was taken from their original parents by an unethical baby broker, via human rights abuse, or coercion.   Many babies available for international adoption were stolen, their parents offered money to surrender them (sometimes the parents have no choice if they want money to feed their families), or women are locked up in maternity homes until they give birth and then forced to surrender (Korea is notorious for this).

International adoption is fraught with for-profit agencies and unscrupulous brokers. And, just like if one has purchased "stolen goods" like a stolen TV, one is guilty of crime, and "Your honor, I did not know it was stolen" is not a good defence, in the same way not ensuring that your baby is not stolen is feeding into the same illegal system.    

Answer 10

No, you are not a criminal. Adoption is not a criminal act in the sense that you as an adoptive parent preyed upon poor unsuspecting pregnant woman.

However it has been in the news how international adoption agencies and baby brokers have preyed upon poor woman of other countries. Now this is where the criminal act comes in, because they may kidnap or buy a baby from parents. Then they go and also take advantage of adoptive parents by charging huge fees for the adoption.

I think that is why you see people calling this type of adoption criminal, because biological and adoptive parents can become victims to bad adoption agencies.  I don't think that they are personally saying adoptive parents are criminals.

International adoption has too many cracks that need to be filled in it. There are just too many ways where the adoptive parents and biological parents can fall victim to schemes in adoption.

So, in closing I do not think you are a criminal. I hope this helps.

Answer 11

If these negative harsh people come to India and visit their orphanage and read up stastics about how common female infanticide is where the goverment is begging people not to kill their girls and leave them in the orphanage instead, thus giving them a chance for life. The Indian goverment has banned s*x determination of the child so as to reduce baby girls being murdered before birth .Not enough Indians who want to "adopt" due to foolish mind sets.

If these kids don't deserve a chance for adoption. International or domestic. Tell me who does ?!?

Answer 12

Hmm, could stories like this contribute to that opinion?  

"Couple accused of taking Kenyan baby"

Answer 13

The only place I have heard that feeling is here and I've just given up trying to change some people's closed minds.  They are going to believe what they want to regardless of what I say.  They will just continue with their generalizations and quote the cases they want to quote.  I've adopted internationally and know first hand how the system works and where my daughter came from.  That's all that really matters to me,

Answer 14

Of course not such a thought imo is crazy and ignorant. I suppose some would rather children live and grow up in orphanages which is the fate of many children that live in orphanages and have been adopted IA.  

As far as children who are kidnapped and wrongfully adopted. The parents that adopted the child know nothing about that they have done no wrong other then being tricked by any agency same as the natural parents were. It should be a country that makes sure their adoption program is done right. I have read Guatemala is making a lot of changes to their program.

Answer 15

I don't think they're criminals.

I do think they are very selfish, trying to emulate Angelina Jolie or something when there are thousands of American foster children waiting for a forever home. Until all American children are provided loving homes, I think there should be a moratorium on international adoptions.

Answer 16

What is with you people?  Adopters are good people (in most cases) and have to prove it to pass social workers reports and such.  I do not think you are criminals.

I wonder what the people think about abortion where the birth-mothers kill their babies because they don't want them.  That is really legalized murder.  Gross.

Why just international adopters, too?  People from all over adopt from where they live?  They are not criminals either.

Some of you people in here really need to get a grip and stop worrying about the extremists.

Answer 17

Wow I haven't heard this one, nor have I or anyone I know being accused of being one.

Can we really be certain that that some IA parents do not use money or turn a blind eye to illegal/questionable happenings in certain countries that they adopt from?  

My conscience is clear so No I do not agree with that in my case, but in others - who knows.

Answer 18

I had no idea that was a stereotype of adoptive parents that adopted internationally. Sick.  

Answer 19

Hey Kristy:

There are going to be people who don't like international adoption.  Some think American children should take priority over children elsewhere needing families.  Some feel that the culture piece is more important than having food, shelter, safety and a family.  Some feel that all international adoption is inherently corrupt and that it's impossible to have an ethical international adoption.  

People are entitled to their opinions.  I'm tired of trying to change their minds.

ETA: Pat: Hang around awhile and you'll see why this question was asked.  It's got more to do with some people making some very personal attacks and trying to justify it by saying they are "only concerned for the child."

Answer 20

No, not all APs are criminals for wanting to adopt children.

But I do believe that APs have a hand in helping to feed the system that makes profits from placing prices on a baby.

No baby should ever be worth a "price." Ever.

Shelly P: You know, I thought that too once upon a time.

Then I learned the truth: that a lot of mothers who relinquish don't have a choice.

I suggest that you take a look at Guatemala and China - they are perfect examples of relinquishing women who have NOT had a choice.

Answer 21

no educated person would feel that way.

ignorance is no excuse  

Answer 22

No I don't agree with that at all.

As with ANY process or "industry" (as some choose to call adoption) there will always be those few random cases of criminal activity that anti's will dig up and try to sell it as a common occurrence. That's how propaganda starts.

But it is not the norm. I know several international adoptive parents whose child would otherwise still be sitting in an orphanage or baby home had they not been brought to this country.

Answer 23

Umm.

All a-parents, no.    

How much time did you spend in Guatemala getting to know what was going on. Shopping for a baby over the internet and spending a week or two at an orphanage funded by a crooked attorney/agency doesn't cut it.

Ignorance isn't an excuse. Why would someone with morals continue adopting "blindly" when NGOs focusing on children's rights are "yelling" about the atrocities happening and how greed and money are driving them up.  Your question should be answered by the thousands of nmothers looking for their kidnapped children or were tricked/coerced into adoption. Not adoptive parents.

Did you make sure that didn't happen with your a-son from Guatemala.      Thought not. Your attorney was one of the honest ones just like the couple from Indiana who was caught "adopting?" a kidnapped child who had an honest DNA test.

It was kind of suspicious how they ran and got an attorney of their own real quick, don't you think.  How horrifying the nmother found her child after 1 1/2 years of searching. Nobody counted on that.

ETA: I'm sick of children being literally ripped out of their mothers arms and placed up for foreign adoption. I'm sick of people like you ignoring children are being raped to breed babies for people like you. I'm sick of children losing what means the most to them just to placate those that want a baby/toddler.   Tired of hearing it, so am I. It needs to stop. Get it.

Answer 24

No I don't agree.